| Chapter Twenty The inside of the doctor’s office was decorated in soft mauves and mint greens with black and white photos of mothers and babies. Comfortable chairs and couches lined the walls and a television played instructional videos in the corner. The atmosphere was meant to be comforting and calming, but there was an underlying sense of anticipation and excitement that couldn’t be denied. I signed in and took a seat on a plush couch, leaving room for Kevin to sit next to me. He lowered his tall, muscular frame next to me and exhaled shakily as he looked around the room. There were several women in various stages of pregnancy occupying the other chairs. He leaned closer to me and whispered, “Did you look like they do?” I had to smile. There was so much he had missed and his curiosity about it all continued to amaze me. “Somewhat. Every woman carries a little differently.” At his perplexed look I added. “For instance, you could barely tell I was pregnant until about six weeks ago. I carried mostly in my rear end. I mean, if I was standing naked, you could tell, but with my clothes on I just looked like I had put on some weight.” Silence descended upon us and I felt my cheeks heat. I could tell by the expression on his face that he was imagining what I had looked like earlier in my pregnancy and the heat in my face quickly spread to the rest of my body. I suddenly realized I wanted him to see the changes in my body and I wished that he had been there to experience it with me. “Cassie Ray.” My name being called brought me back to reality and I scooted to the front of the couch so that I could stand. Before I could try to heave my bulk from the couch, Kevin was standing in front of me, his hands outstretched. I placed my hands in his and relaxed as he gently pulled me up. “Will you go back with me?” I asked shyly. It had become very important to me that he share in my pregnancy. “I’d love to,” he replied and then he tucked my hand in the crook of his arm. The nurse led us to the back of the office. “You know what to do,” she said as she handed me a sterile cup and nodded to the bathroom. I finished quickly and the nurse weighed me in, asked about any problems and then showed us to an exam room. “The doctor will be right in,” she said before leaving us alone. Kevin steadied me as I climbed onto the table and then he took a seat in the lone chair against the wall. We sat in silence, each lost in our own thoughts. I knew mine centered on him and our baby, but I couldn’t read his facial expressions, so I didn’t know what he was thinking about. “Hello Cassie, how are you feeling today?” the doctor asked as he entered the room and closed the door behind him. “I’m doing good today Doc. Actually I’ve done well all week. I’ve kept calm, stayed relaxed and I’ve been walking and swimming for exercise.” “Good, good. That’s exactly what I wanted to hear,” he said as he looked up from my chart. It was then he noticed that I wasn’t alone in the room and he looked between Kevin and me and back again before settling his gaze on me. “Doctor Jackson, I’d like you to meet my baby’s father, Kevin. Kevin this is Doctor Jackson.” The two men exchanged hellos and shook hands. “Okay Cassie. Why don’t you lie back and we’ll get this started,” Doc said as he helped lower me into a reclined position. He lifted my shirt to expose my stomach and he took the measurements. “It looks like baby has grown since last week,” he said as he made a notation to my chart. “Okay, let’s take a listen,” he said, and I felt the cold gel being squirted onto my rounded stomach. I looked over at Kevin and found his eyes glued to my belly. The little machine was allowing the sound of our child’s heartbeat to echo in the room. Kevin looked up at me and I smiled at the stunned look on his face. “Everything sounds great. I want you to keep away from stressful situations and I want you to relax like you have been. Your blood pressure is down considerably from last week and I want to keep it that way, okay?” I nodded as I lowered my shirt and sat up. “You did tell me you’re taking Lamaze classes, correct?” “Yes. My last class is next week. I’m fully prepared,” I answered with a wry grin, letting Doc know that I knew there was more to labor and delivery than what we were being taught in Lamaze. He chuckled and patted my knee. “Don’t worry on it so much. You’ll do just fine. You have great muscle tone and you’ve kept to your exercise routine so I don’t see any problem with that aspect of delivery. Just remember when you hold your child for the first time, everything you’ve gone through will have been worth it.” The three of us walked out to the front desk, where I made my next appointment. “Thanks Doc,” I said and then Kevin and I made our way out of the building. “Are you okay?” I asked when Kevin remained quiet long after we had left the parking lot. “Yeah, it’s just that…I mean wow! I’m going to be a dad and today I heard our child’s heartbeat. The more time I spend with you, the more real it becomes.” “Are you upset that you’re going to be a dad?” I asked and then froze in horror. I had no idea that question was going to come popping out of my mouth and I found I was afraid of the answer. Kevin pulled the car over to the side of the rode and put it into park, before turning to face me. “Upset? No. Excited, elated, scared, worried? Yes. I’ve never been a dad before. I’ve never spent much time around pregnant women either. When my brother, Tim, and his wife were expecting their first child, I was on the road for most of that time. I missed the first few months of Will’s life being on the road too. I mean I went home when he was born, but I could only stay a couple of days. I have no experience with newborns and I worry about whether I’ll know how to hold him or feed him. I worry about whether or not I’ll be a good dad. But at the same time I’m extremely excited and I can’t wait for our child to get here. I already love him or her,” he paused and I could tell he was fighting with himself over something and then the fight was over and he relaxed. “Just like I love you,” he said quietly. “Kevin,” I gasped as my hand flew to my throat in a protective gesture. Click here to read part two of chapter twenty. |