Chapter Eight   "I'll see you in three weeks right?" Brian asked Carissa, as he and the guys waited for their flight to be called.   "Yep. I'll be here to pick you up" she assured him. Their flight was called, and Brian leaned down and kissed Matti and held her close.   "You be good for your momma" he told her. Matti just gurgled happily and chewed on the Flounder Brian had bought her. He stood up and faced Carissa. "I'll call you later tonight" he whispered, and then he leaned in to kiss her. Even though they had been seeing each other for a little over a month, his closeness still made her uncomfortable. He noticed, but didn't say anything.   "C'mon on Rok, we're gonna miss the flight" AJ said as the last call for boarding was made. "Have fun and don't work TOO hard" she called as the five guys turned and walked down the gateway.                                                               ~~~****~~~     Beth had watched the whole thing silently, and cringed when she saw Carissa stiffen up. She had hoped that with time, Brian could win her trust. But it didn't seem like things were getting any better. She sighed dejectedly and pushed Matti's stroller through the terminal. "Why don't we go grab some lunch?" Carissa asked.   "Sure" Beth quickly agreed. The last thing she wanted was for Carissa to ask what was on her mind.    They were sitting in Friday's eating their lunch when Carissa said, "You're awful quiet today. Any special reason?"   'Shoot!' Beth mentally exclaimed. She thought about lying, but she had a feeling it was now or never. "I don't know where to even begin" she said softly, so softly that Carissa almost missed it entirely. Beth took a deep breath and let it out. "Look 'Ris, you know I love you, right?" Carissa nodded her head and wondered what she'd gotten herself into. "And its because I love you that I feel I have to say this." Beth waited for Carissa to look at her before she continued, "You're going to loose the best thing that ever happened to you, if you don't relax and give him a chance to prove he is what he says he is."     Carissa felt like she had been slapped. She inhaled a shaky breath and let it out slowly. 'God why couldn't people just leave her alone? No one knew what it was like to be her, to live with what had happened. Couldn't they just all mind their own business?' she questioned silently. "'Rissa, I know I don't know what it's like for you, but girl I'm worried about you. You've been seeing him for over a month and you still tense up when he kisses you."   "I do not" Carissa defended herself.   "Yes sweetie, you do. I saw it with my own eyes this morning. How long do you think you two will last, when you don't trust him?" "I.. I don't know" she whispered as a single tear slid down her face.    "Sis, I didn't mean to make you cry. I just don't want to see you loose him. He cares about you. I mean he really cares. Just think about things while they're gone- okay?" Beth pleaded. Carissa nodded and Beth added, "You know you can always talk to me. I'm here for you."   "I know. Just give me sometime Beth. There's so much you don't even know" Carissa said.    Beth looked at her friend and wondered about her last statement. 'So much that I don't know? What could there be that I don't already know about the whole thing?' she questioned herself.                                                               ~~~****~~~    "Brian, are you okay?" Howie asked after the plane had leveled off.    Brian sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know D, things just aren't going like I thought they would."    "What do you mean?" Howie asked.   "With Carissa. We've been seeing each other for awhile now and she still stiffens up when I kiss her. I thought she'd trust me by now."     Howie thought for a minute choosing his words carefully. "Brian, you know what she's been through. You've just got to give her time. It's not you she doesn't trust. Deep down, she knows you would never do her like that, but this is something she has to come to terms with. Let me ask you something, do you care for her?"   "More than anything D."   "Then don't give up. Give her a chance to search her heart."   Brian sat for a long time thinking about everything he knew and about what Howie had said. 'Time, its one thing that I've got' he thought. 'I'll give her all the time she needs. I care to much about her to let her get away.'                                                           ~~~****~~~   Carissa spent the day thinking and searching her heart. She knew she didn't want to loose someone as special as Brian, but she wasn't sure she knew how to keep him. The thing was, it wasn't him that scared her. It was her feelings for him, the way she felt when he held her and kissed her that scared her.     She was sitting on the couch going over everything again when the phone rang. "Hello" she said as she picked up.   "Hi sweetie. How are you?" Brian asked from the other end.   Carissa sighed and thought 'What a loaded question', but shrugged the thought off and answered, "I'm fine. How was the flight?"    Brian could hear the forced cheerfullness in her voice and wondered about it. He was about to ask, but remembered the promise he'd made himself hours before. He was going to give her the time she needed.   "Long! Way to long. I was so happy to get off the plane and walk on the ground again" he said trying to make her laugh.   She chuckled and asked, "You didn't do anything silly like kiss the ground when you got off did you?" she asked as the mental picture floated through her mind.   "No! But I'll have to remember that for the flight home" he joked.   They talked for thirty minutes before hanging up. Carissa smiled to herself as she replaced the handset to the cradle. Just hearing his voice seemed to make it easier to make a decision. She'd do everything in her power not to let him go.