| Chapter Twenty-Five Kat had no idea how long she’d been walking or even where she was, but all she knew was that the pain that was almost crushing her chest hadn’t eased up at all. In fact, it was just getting heavier. The more she thought about the situation and Howie’s determination to push anything to do with it away, the more the pain intensified. It felt like a thousand pound weight was sitting on her chest. How much worse it must be for him, she thought as she stopped at a crosswalk and looked around her trying to get her bearings. She recognized a coffee shop she knew was just down the street from the hotel and when the light changed walked towards it. She passed the coffee shop and made her way to the hotel, entering in through a side door. She quickly glanced around the lobby and breathed a sigh of relief that it was empty and she crossed to the elevator. The doors opened as she reached the elevator bank and a hand grabbed her arm and jerked her inside. Her sharp scream was cut off when an angry voice asked, “Where have you been?” Kat’s head snapped up and her eyes met a pair of cold brown eyes. “I’ve been out walking,” she replied, as she pried his fingers from around her upper arm and punched the correct floor. “You’ve been out walking all this time and I’ve been going crazy with worry?” he gritted out, his eyes going from cold to irate. Kat could feel her emotions coming to a boil and fought hard to keep a lid on them. She knew that if she let go of them, she and Howie would no doubt get into a screaming match that the whole hotel would hear. “Are you going to answer me or not,” he asked. Releasing a breath, Kat took a step back and remained quiet. Howie looked as if he was about to say something more but the opening of the elevator stopped him cold. Silently he followed Kat down the hall to their room and when she opened the door, he followed her in. “Answer me,” he demanded as he slammed the door. The anger was radiating off of him in palpable waves as tension filled the room. His demanding attitude was the last straw and Kat flew off the handle. “What do you care? You were the one who told me to leave you alone. I did that, all right? And now all of a sudden you’re acting like you spent the last few hours sitting in this room worrying about me. Bull,” she shouted, her face becoming red and her breathing labored as she tried hard to keep from saying something they’d both regret. “Bull? You think I didn’t worry about you,” he asked incredulously, his temper slowly cooling. “What else am I supposed to think? You won’t talk to me. You go from hot to cold so fast I don’t know whether I am coming or going,” she answered, her own temper cooling quickly. “I just don’t want to think about it, let alone talk about it,” he said as a shudder ripped through his body. “Oh Howie, I know you don’t. I don’t either, but you can’t keep pushing me away. I love you and I want to be there for you. You can’t pretend none of it happened,” she whispered as she slipped her arms around his waist and pulled him towards her. His arms came up and held her close, as he buried his face in her shoulder to hide the tears that had welled up in his eyes. “Just talk to me,” she begged, after a minute of silence. Howie stiffened in her arms and her heart began racing faster and faster and the weight began to feel heavier and heavier. He slowly pulled back from her and Kat tried hard to hold on, but Howie pried her arms away and stepped back, breaking all physical contact. “I said I don’t want to talk about it. Not with you, not with anybody.” Kat swallowed hard and involuntarily took a step back. Howie’s eyes had gone hard and cold and the way he held his body was like a giant neon sign saying “KEEP AWAY.” “Please don’t do this. Don’t shut me out,” she begged again. “Just leave it alone,” Howie shouted, startling Kat and making her jump. “No! I won’t leave it alone. You have to deal with it Howie or it’s going to eat you alive. Is that what you want? You’re blaming yourself for something you had no control over and you’ve got to stop. You don’t want to talk to me, that’s fine. Find someone, anyone and talk to them. Please for you, for me, for us,” she pleaded as her worry for him grew. “Enough Kat. No more. I don’t want to hear another word about the whole situation. And if you can’t deal with that then get out. Get out of my room, get out of my life, just get out,” he raged. Kat gasped. “Fine. If that’s the way you want it,” she whispered, suddenly drained of all energy. While he watched in disbelief, she threw her belongings into her bags, zipped them up and walked to the door. She laid the keycard on the table and reached for the door handle. He couldn’t quite believe that things had gone so far. He had been worried about her. She’d been gone for hours and no one knew where she had been. But now, now things were all turned around and he didn’t know what to think or do. He opened his mouth to stop her, but was stopped by her soft voice. “I just want you to know that I love you. I always will,” she murmured softly as she opened the door and closed it behind her. He stood stone still, not moving and barely breathing as he watched her walk away. The muted click of the door closing snapped something within Howie and he felt a cold chill run through him. Emotions ran the gamut, from disbelief and sorrow, to pain and finally settling on anger. His mind raged and his body shook with pent up emotion. Not knowing what else to do, he picked up a ceramic vase and threw it across the room. He sighed in satisfaction as he watched the vase shatter against the wall. Feeling somewhat better he came to a conclusion: There was no room in his life for her if she couldn’t understand. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Kat made it to the end of the hall before her tears spilled over and ran down her face. A giant sob welled up in her chest and before she could stop it, it escaped. She leaned against the wall, her eyes closed and tired unsuccessfully to stop the flood of tears. Her whole life had changed in seconds and now she had no idea what she was supposed to do. All she knew was that if she could, she would’ve turned back the clock and stopped the events from ever happening. Her sobs continued, making it hard for her to breath and she felt herself going lightheaded. Struggling for a breath, she didn’t notice the figure coming towards her. She jumped slightly when a warm comforting hand took her by the hand and led her away. “Sit down,” he rasped, when he had opened the door to his room. He watched to make sure she did as he’d directed then went to get a cold wet washcloth. “Here, this will help,” he stated as he placed it against the back of her neck. Kat shivered from the cold, but made no audible protest. It just didn’t seem worth the effort to her, so she sat quietly while he wiped the tears from her face and held the washcloth to her neck. When she calmed down, and her tears had stopped AJ asked, “Want to talk about it?” Kat shuddered and averted her gaze, fearing his reaction to the fight she and Howie had had. He spoke softly, assuring her that he was a good listener and that he was there for her, and finally she began to speak, telling him about the fight. When she was finished AJ pulled her into his arms and held her tightly, all the while thinking about getting his hands on Howie. “What are you going to do?” he asked as they mutually pulled away. “I’m going home.” ”When?” he asked. “Tonight if possible. He doesn’t want me around and honestly I don’t want to be around when he’s like this. It’s like riding a roller coaster blindfolded. You don’t know where the twists and turns are and they always take you by surprise,” she said, keeping her eyes on her lap. “Besides, I don’t think there’s even the smallest chance of reconciling. He’s very angry.” “Not at you though,” AJ said, trying to offer comfort. Kat shook her head in denial. “At me, at Sasha at the situation and the whole world. I can’t say that I blame him either. I would be also if it had happened to me. It’s just that I’m afraid that if he keeps his feelings bottled up he’s going to end up self-destructing.” “Ah Kat,” AJ muttered, his raspy voice going deeper with unexpressed emotion. She lifted her head and offered him a slight smile. “I’ll be okay in time. Just promise me you’ll watch out for him, okay?” ”Always Kat, always.” Reunion Index Chapter Twenty-Six Main Page |