| Chapter Twenty-Eight Howie stepped from the cab and looked up at the building. His nerves were stretched tight and his heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest. This was it, he was here and he was only minutes away from seeing Kat. He had spent the last few days in a state of heightened anticipation mixed with bouts of nervousness. Today had been the worst though. He had caught an early flight into the Greater Cincinnati Northern Kentucky airport and from there he had checked into a hotel. He had originally thought getting there early would be easier on him. He wouldn’t have to worry about delayed flights or being late and having to wait until the following day to see her. Instead, he had spent most of the day pacing his hotel room, wondering if it was too late, wondering how she would react to seeing him, and wondering how he could’ve pushed her away in the first place. But all of that paled to what he felt right that minute. He was scared, nervous, and extremely hopeful. He knew it wasn’t necessarily the wisest thing to get his hopes up, but he couldn’t help it. He still loved her and he was hoping against hope that she still loved him. “Hey buddy, are you going to pay or what,” the cabbie asked impatiently. “What? Oh, sorry,” Howie murmured as he fished the fare out of his wallet and handed it over. “You sure you don’t want me to wait,” the cabbie asked, hoping for an easy fare. “No, that’s okay. Thanks anyway,” Howie said, before shutting the door. He walked up the three steps and down the walk as the cab pulled away. When he reached the security door, he found Kat’s buzzer and pressed it, praying that when she heard his voice she wouldn’t turn him away. “Hello,” her voice floated on the evening breeze and wrapped around Howie. “Kat… it’s me Howie. Can we talk,” he asked. A long pause was followed by the click of the lock releasing. Howie sighed in relief and pulled the door open. That’s a good sign, he thought at he made his way up to the second floor. When he reached the landing, he found Kat standing in her doorway. His heart tripped a beat and his breath caught in his throat. She was wearing an old pair of ratty jeans and a t-shirt. Her hair was haphazardly piled on top of her head and she had a smudge of dirt on her cheek. She had never looked so beautiful to Howie as she did in that moment. She noticed his scrutiny and looked down at herself and cringed. She was wearing her cleaning clothes and she felt self-conscious. This wasn’t how she had imagined being reunited with Howie would be. In her daydreams, she had been perfectly attired and her hair had been hanging free around her shoulders. “Hi,” he said as he walked closer. Kat swallowed hard and whispered, “Hi.” Howie smiled inwardly when he realized she was as nervous as he was. “Can I come in?” “Oh! Yes, please,” she said as she stepped back to let him pass. Howie’s eyes were immediately drawn to the Water Lilies painting he had bought her. It was hanging in the living room, giving the room a peaceful quality. “Can I get you something to drink,” Kat asked timidly. “No thanks. I’m fine,” Howie replied as he took a seat on the couch and patted the seat next to him. Warily, Kat sank down into the seat next to Howie. Her heart was beating rapidly and she curled her hands into fists to keep her nervousness from showing. “You said you wanted to talk to me,” Kat began, letting the sentence trail off. “Yes I do. Only I don’t know where to start. I’ve gone over everything I’ve wanted to say to you for days. I’ve rehearsed it over and over and now I find that I can’t remember any of it,” he admitted sheepishly. “Starting at the beginning is always a good place,” she prompted. A wry smile turned the corners of his lips upward and he felt himself relaxing. He’d come too far to back out now. She’d actually let him in, so what he had to say had to be important to her. He took a deep breath, fortified by his thoughts, and let it out. “I came to apologize. I treated you horribly and I shouldn’t have. I was so wrong for pushing you away, especially since it was you I needed the most.” Kat watched him as he spoke, and was amazed at what she saw. Howie had changed in the week and a half since she’d been gone. He wasn’t the same terrified, angry man, but the one she had fallen in love with. Even with that startling revelation, she couldn’t help but ask, “Why did you push me away then?” Howie looked chagrinned but answered honestly. “I felt dirty. I felt like that if I touched you; that feeling would rub off on you too. I didn’t want you to feel the things I was feeling. I didn’t want you to think that I was dirty,” he said quietly. Kat’s heart cried out and tears pricked the back of her eyes. She wanted to shout that she would never think that about him, and that she loved him, but she kept silent instinctively knowing that he had more to say. “ I just didn’t know how to deal with all my thoughts and emotions and every time you tried to get me to talk about it, I would feel so helpless, so violated. I didn’t know how to make you understand so I did the only thing I could think of, I pushed you away. But I never stopped loving you, not even when I told you to get out of my life. I didn’t really want you to go, but I didn’t know how to put everything right again. I know I don’t deserve it, but could you ever forgive me for pushing you away,” he asked, his voice trembling with suppressed emotion, his head lowered, eyes on the floor. Before Howie knew what was happening, Kat’s arms were around him, her head was buried in the crook of his neck and her tears were making damp spots on his shirt. “Of course I forgive you. I love you Howie, I always have and I always will,” she said before lifting her head and pressing her lips to his in a tender kiss that expressed forgiveness, comfort and love all at the same time. He’d almost lost what was most important to him and he couldn’t believe his good fortune that she had forgiven him. Howie sighed inwardly and thanked the Lord above for sending him such a wonderful woman. Reunion Index Epilogue Main Page |