I’ll Be
I don't know why these things keep happening to me. I mean, what did I do to deserve something like this? Okay, yeah... There's the whole evil unsouled mass slaughter thing. But if this was supposed to be the way to repent for all that, I really should have been finished with redemption after the first week. No one deserves this. I wouldn't even wish this on Spike. ...Maybe Spike.
I gave Cordelia a look that hopefully said 'get the hell out of my home or some serious damage is going to happen'. She obviously saw it because she raised her 'I'm really not impressed now get your ass moving' eyebrow.
I sighed. "I really have some things that need doing tonight. Why not get Wesley and Gunn to go?"
"I did. Now I'm getting you to go. Get up, get out of your cave and have some fun."
"But I'm having fun in my cave. And there's so much to do..." I looked around to see if I could actually spot anything that needed doing. Also, the look she was giving me right then was not one I wanted to meet. God, this girl was scary.
She tapped the toe of her shoe on the floor. "Get up. The others are waiting."
I obviously wasn't going to win this one. I thought about whining but the look Cordelia was giving me now was more like 'If you don't get up and go now, I'm going to make life a living hell for the rest of the year', in far too cheery a way. And, trust me, she could do it.
Getting up and going seemed like a truly good idea now. She grinned hugely when I finally begrudgingly got up.
"I'm not singing." This was something I definitely wasn't about to budge on. She pulled a face.
"Good God, no. You want to ruin the evening for everyone? There's no singing for you."
I did my best to look insulted though I was really more relieved than anything. "I'm not that bad..."
"Yes. You are. Now come on."
Sighing to myself I grabbed my coat, can’t forget that, and walked slowly to the door. Shoulders slumped and feet dragging. Maybe if I brooded hard enough she’d get fed up and let me alone.
“Ow.” Or she could just thump me in the back of the head. Hmm, maybe I could complain of a headache.
We finally – and unfortunately – made it out to the lobby and the entrance doors. Gunn and Wes stood waiting for us. Wes looked about as miserable as I felt. Maybe if we both worked together to get out of this thing…
“Ow! Would you stop hitting me?” I glared at Cordelia who stood next to me.
“Stop plotting ways to get out of this. You’re coming. All of you.” The look told us all she meant it. Although Gunn didn’t seem too opposed to it in the first place. Things had been pretty boring around here lately. Maybe getting out could be a good thing. I only say this with great reluctance of course. I could probably make a final dash for… Cordy latched onto my arm and started to drag me to the car. I sighed again. Damn.
Looking over my shoulder I could see that Gunn was dragging an equally reluctant Wes along. Huh. I would have thought he wouldn’t mind a bit of a night out. Unless Cordy planned on making him sing, that would explain the panicked look on his face. Poor Wes.
If I could get him alone, we could plan our escape together. Two minds better than one right? Specially when that other mind is Wes.
Of course tonight would have to be a night with no visions. Or clients. Or anything going on in even the slightest. It really was the perfect time to get out and relax. Although I really don’t know how one could call this relaxing.
The ‘music’ grated on your nerves and all the demons in such close quarters. Well I’d never been one for crowds. Cordelia says to just relax and quite being so old. She said the same thing to Wesley.
Who looked strung out and worried, leg jogging rapid fire under the table. Maybe his song was coming up. Which meant that now was the time to make the great escape and get Wes out with me. Because I certainly wasn’t about to just leave him here to Cordelia’s sick form of demented torture.
Only I didn’t really have a plan other than to grab Wes, throw him over my shoulder and run. The question was could I do it fast enough? Well I was a vampire; surely I could get past Cordelia. Though she was formidable.
But there. Her back was turned, talking to Lorne. Now was my chance. I shot to my feet, grabbed hold of Wes’ arm and jerked him close so I could toss him over my shoulder and run. I couldn’t be sure as my mind was more focused on getting away but I think he might have squeaked.
The exit was getting closer, the stairs looming ahead of me in view. I tripped. There was no excuse for it, no one’s foot got in the way except for my own. Wes and I went flying to land in a heap on the floor with a thud.
Cordelia and Gunn hadn’t even bothered to get up to stop us. Had remained sitting and were now watching with bemusedly raised eyebrows. As was everyone else in the place.
Wes pushed himself off of my back. I chanced a look over my shoulder at him only to meet his deadly glare. Which was entirely tempered by the fact that he was blushing hotly. As he pushed to his feet though the blush began to fade. That glare wasn’t going anywhere. I stayed on the floor, looking up at Wes with what I hoped was a suitably sheepish expression.
“Angel, what on earth are you doing?” He definitely sounded annoyed.
“We were escaping.” And this was the thanks I was getting. My voice was entirely too small, like my entire world had just been devastated. It worked. Wes sighed and reached a hand out to help me up.
Now Wes looked amused as well as embarrassed. The result was surprisingly… cute. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate the effort. Even if it was a little… dramatic.” I frowned. What else was I supposed to do; it was practically a life or death situation. Wes continued, oblivious to my discomfiture. “But I don’t need to escape.” Now I was just baffled. “It was my idea to come here.”
“You… What?”
“Though I didn’t actually mean for everyone to come along. You’re welcome to leave.”
“Uh…” I couldn’t form a coherent word let alone thoughts. Pretty soon that was going to become a trend in the night’s activities. It didn’t matter anyways because before I could make an even bigger fool of myself Cordelia was there. She shoved her way between me and Wes and gave me the ‘whoa no, mister’ look.
“You’re not going anywhere. This is a nice friends out night. So sit down and enjoy it.”
My shoulders slumped in defeat as Cordelia led both me and Wes back to the table. The rest of the customers had gone back to their own lives, no longer interested in us now that the entertainment was apparently over.
Now I wasn’t sure that I wanted to leave anyways as I retook my seat. If this was all Wesley’s doing then I wanted to know why. Only one reason to think of and that was that he wanted Lorne to read him. But about what. What was going on in Wes’ life that he needed guidance like that? And why not come to me if he needed advice. Or well… not advice but to talk at least. Or someone to listen.
Sure I didn’t really come off as the best person to share problems with. But this was Wes. And Wes was… Wes was… Well I want to hear him. Want to be there for him. Only clearly I wasn’t because here he was turning to Lorne.
A throat was cleared and I shook myself from my… musings. Caught myself staring at Wes and Wes looking uncomfortable. I dropped my gaze but heard Wes push his chair back and get to his feet. Guess it was his turn at the mic.
I watched as he made his way up to the stage and could practically see his trembling. Everything about him said that he wanted to turn around and run out the door. Now he was probably wishing he had let me sweep him away to safety. But he was determined and didn’t turn back.
Cordelia and Gunn were cheering him on. I stayed silent, watching in curiosity. The Host was off to the side, watching as well. Wes could probably feel all the scrutiny on him. It was too late now though and the music started. Wes began in a shaky voice.
The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath.
I listened…enraptured really. He wasn’t half bad as he continued and gained a bit of confidence. Gunn and Cordelia continued to cheer him on. I listened silently. Knew I was staring but Wes wasn’t looking at me anyway so it wasn’t like he would notice. Be nice if he was looking at me. Singing this for me.
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above
#
By the time I finally got back to the hotel it was late. Or early. Cordelia had gone home, Wes had gone home and Gunn had gone to wherever it is Gunn goes. Sighing to myself I started to make my way upstairs. To my room. Alone. Just the way I liked it…
The sound of the door opening stopped me. I turned back in confusion to see Wes standing just in the doors and looking more nervous than he had on stage. I frowned. Stepped back down the few steps I had managed to get up and into the lobby.
“Wes? Is something wrong? Did something happen?” Because I couldn’t think of any other reason for him to be standing here when a moment ago he’d said he was heading home.
He gave a nervous smile. “Everything’s fine.”
“What are you doing here?” Not that I minded him being here at all.
He took a breath and stepped down into the lobby until he was standing a few feet in front of me. “I had to wait for Cordelia and Gunn to leave.”
“Oh.” I frowned even more. “…Why?”
Another deep… steadying breath and he stepped forward to close those last few feet between us. I couldn’t move. One move might scare him off or scare me off. I just stared. Stared as he closed all distance and brushed his lips over mine in a fleeting kiss. If I could breathe I would have been holding it. If my heart could beat it would have stopped.
He pulled back and nervously licked his lips. I was still too busy staring. Neither of us moved.
“Wes…”
Wes ducked his head. “This is why I wanted to go to Caritas. I needed to know I could do this.”
My confused frown softened. I had to stop myself grinning. “Then that song was for me?” There was perhaps the slightest tinge of smugness in my voice. Wes smiled a bit and nodded.
“That was for you.” That grin was starting to slip through a bit and Wes looked up. Still nervous, still unsure. “So what do you… think?”
I smiled, told him exactly what I thought.
I'll Be your cryin' shoulder
I'll Be love suicide
I'll Be better when I'm older
I'll Be the greatest fan of your life
A finger over my lips abruptly stopped me before I could go too far. “Angel, do shut up.” And he kissed me.
