| Tätigkeiten sprechen louder als wörter. Actions speak louder than words. This is a beautiful list of notions I've produced, and if carried out they will be sure to make you many new friends. |
| Develop an unnatural fear of staplers. In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors.' Pay off your Visa with your Mastercard. Stare at people though the tines of a fork and pretened they're in jail {I love this one, because I totally...ahem...used to do this}. Peel the labels off of every canned food in your house.. Find one of those "Deaf Child Area" roadsigns and write the word "What?" underneath it. Freeze a full can of shaving foam in the freezer for a couple of days. When fully frozen, cut the outer can away from the frozen chemicals inside. Keep it in a cool bag until you want to use it. All you do now is put the frozen stick somewhere devious and watch what happens. As the the frozen stick defrosts, the chemicals react with the air and foams up everywhere (PS: 2 cans = full car). Change your name to a symbol and try to cash a check at the bank. Work out at the gym with only one side of your body until you're ridiculously disproportionate. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day. Change your name to Victor Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing". Never make eye contact. Never break eye contact. |