SEATING OF FAMILY MEMBERS
Parents, grandparents, and siblings usually sit in the first row.
If parents are divorced and both will be attending, the mother (and husband)
might sit in the first row and the father (and wife) in the second row. If
there is animosity, you might separate them by a few rows.
Other family members (aunts, uncles, cousins) sit behind immediate family.
SEATING OF SPECIAL GUESTS
In a military wedding, you must consider rank of guests in specifying seating areas.
Guests in wheelchairs or other physical challenges may require special seating.
Families of members of the wedding party may need special seating,
especially if they are parents of children involved in the wedding.
Special guests such as godparents may have special seating and be involved in
the ceremony by receiving flowers.
Prepare a chart for special seating and make sure that the ushers have it prior
to the ceremony so that people will be escorted to their proper seats.
USHERS
An usher offers his right arm to a female guest when escorting her to a seat. If there is an imbalance in invitees (more from one family than another), it is proper to "even out" seating instead of insisting that all bride's guests go on one side and groom's guests on the other. Also many times guests are friends of the couple and could easily fit in on either side of the facility.
How Can We Seat the Guests to "Balance the House"?
One of you may have more invited guests or family than the other. Tell your
ushers where to seat Groom's and Bride's family on the appropriate "sides" of
the aisle. You may even make a map of which family members are to be seated
where, and see that your ushers have that information. Tell family members at
the rehearsal dinner to identify themselves to the ushers when they ready to be
seated for the wedding.
When seating guests, tell your ushers to comply with any requests by guests who
want to sit on "Bride's side" or "Groom's side." Enough other guests will come
in and be ready to be seated without designating which side they prefer. Use
these guests to even up the number of guests on each side of the aisle.
Late Arrivals
Don't get too rigid about starting on the minute if guests are still filtering in from the parking lot, or you know Aunt Mary has left the hotel and will be here in five more minutes.
On the other hand, you owe it to the guests who had the courtesy and foresight to get there at or before the time you told them the wedding would start, to begin reasonably close to the announced time. If it's getting late, and the starting time has come and gone, don't fall into the trap of waiting for people who said they would be there and aren't. You may be waiting for people who aren't coming. If it's already past the announced starting time, late guests may give up trying to get to the ceremony and catch up with you at the reception.
What about really late guests (the ones who arrive at the church after everyone has left for the reception elsewhere)? Tell the church or wedding site where your reception is to be, so that a late arriving guest will be able to catch up with the festivities.