Look Out, GM and McDonalds! We're Gonna Make You Pay!

But don't worry, because it's "For the Kids".

   Guns have been de facto outlawed in Chicago, but that isn't stopping Mayor Richard Daley--a true tax-and-spend, anti-gun Democrat if ever there was one--from imposing Hizzoner's Will outside city limits.
   Guns are, in fact, legal in Chicago, as long as you're a cop or register the gun with the city. Problem is, the city has refused to permit anyone to register since 1983. That means virtually anyone in Chicago who owns a gun is a criminal--by definition. Of course this suits Daley, an avowed anti-gun crusader, just fine. That's what the anti-gun movement would like you to think. It's a way to demonize and impugn the character of any private gun owner, putting the honest shop owner wishing to protect himself in the same company (literally, in jail cells, as well as figuratively) as child molesters, carjackers, and the small percentage of gun owners who use guns to murder. When only outlaws own guns it's easy to stereotype gun owners as nefarious criminals (or as NRA militia kooks, if they actually try to stand up for their rights).
   Daley has considerable support from some influential friends, like his City Hall cronies and the Coalition Against Handgun Violence, which should just come clean and shorten its name to the Coalition Against Guns. And he's certainly not alone among other big city mayors in using the "short, simple and wrong" (H.L. Mencken) solution to an emotional issue to enrich his city's coffers.
   Not satisfied with denying the Second Amendment to his peasantry, and with big dollar signs in his eyes from the tobacco industry settlements, Daley would like to sue gun manufacturers, in part, to recoup the costs supposedly incurred as a result of gun violence. Naturally I presume that if he wins, Chicagoans will have their taxes lowered by the amount of the settlement. (BWAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I kill myself sometimes!)
   Daley's reasoning is that gun manufacturers have not done enough to ensure that guns sold by dealers and private individuals do not eventually fall into the wrong hands--or the hands of any Chicagoan. In addition to the financial penalties, the lawsuit might try to seek an injunction against--of course--future sales, according to an expert strategist who has met with the city's lawyers. Anyone selling a gun to anyone else would have to make sure that the buyer did not have a Chicago address, unless the buyer could also prove he also has a residence outside of Chicago or is renting a storage locker at a target range. In short, buyers with Chicago addresses either have to be rich enough to own a second home outside of Chicago, or clever enough to rent a storage locker for the duration of the sale (assuming one can be found). And that buyer still can't legally have the gun in city limits.
   The city's lawyers plan to argue that since Chicagoans aren't behaving like obedient supplicants by not buying firearms, the demand created by those wanting guns has created an economic vacuum. Guns from the suburbs are naturally rushing in to fill the void, and gun sellers are doing less than everything in God's power to make sure they're not selling to a Chicagoan.
   Now I don't own any firearms, nor do I live in Chicago. Nor would I likely ever move to Chicago, even if it weren't hideously expensive. But I do support the Second Amendment, and want to preserve my right in the future to buy a gun for target practice, personal protection, or whatever peaceful purpose I want. If someone uses a gun to commit a crime, then by all means lock 'em up and take their guns away. But to deny any citizen their right to bear arms is to automatically presume them guilty of some unspecified future crime, and is a denial of their Due Process rights--you know, "innocent until proven guilty" and all that other nice stuff the tough-on-crime politicians so despise.
   [As an aside to those of you who would argue that the Second Amendment actually applies to the military instead of the citizenry because of the use of the word "militia," I would like to remind you that it also says "...the right of the people to bear arms...." Also, what nation in history has ever had to give its military permission to use weapons?]
   Mayor Daley obviously considers gun use by citizens to be a major plague upon the land. And he's hoping to use the same tactics against gun manufacturers that others have used against the tobacco companies. But roughly the same number of people--over 40,000--are killed each year in auto deaths. And that pales in comparison to the number of Americans who die annually from heart disease, over half a million. Can you think of any reason why the next politician with dollars in his eyes won't go after auto manufacturers, meat farmers and fast-food restaurants? After guns and tobacco (and let's not forget mandatory V-chips and Internet filters!), he'd only be carrying the argument to its logical conclusion.
   What follows is a short scenario of Bad Things to Come.

   Imagine you've just moved to a new city. You go to the city hall to get your city-required car sticker. After a long wait in line, you reach a clerk who tells you the city is no longer issuing car stickers.
   "But I was told you needed a sticker to own a car in this city."
   "You do."
   "But you're not letting anyone get one?"
   "Nope. Haven't given out a sticker since 1983. And for good reason too. Do you realize how many people are killed each year in auto accidents? Do you know how many cars are used in the commission of crimes, and other unscrupulous activities? Cars just cause too much mayhem."
   "But I've never injured anyone in an accident, or committed a crime with one. I need my car to get to work!"
   "Look, we can't allow you to own a car in this city and that's that. It's for the public good. You can rely on the city for your transportation. Our public transportation now makes nearly a dozen stops all around the city, about 3 times a day, give or take a couple. And for most people it costs only a couple times as much as owning a car."
   "You're presuming me guilty of a crime I've never committed! Why don't you just impound the cars of criminal drivers?"
   "Oh, we do, thousands every year. Besides, it's not like you have a Constitutional right to own a car. And you are a criminal--unregistered cars are illegal in this city."
   "BUT YOU WON'T LET ME REGISTER IT!!!"
   "And our streets are all the safer for it. Don't you want our children to be safe? Look, since you're new in town, and my shift is over in a minute anyway, I won't report your ownership of a car to the police until tomorrow. That gives you all of tonight and some of tomorrow morning to sell it. Just make sure you don't sell it to another city resident unless they can prove they rent a parking space at an out-of-town parking lot."
   Steaming from the ears, you leave and decide to get a bite to eat at McDonalds down the street. You'll definitely have to have a talk with your real estate agent about this omission. You pull into the deserted McDonalds lot and decide to park in back, frightened that a cop might see you driving around. You walk into the restaurant and notice only one or two lone people eating, both adults, even though it's the beginning of the dinner rush hour. You also notice that for the first time in living memory, you're in a McDonalds that isn't hawking plastic toys for the latest Disney movie. Go figure.
   You walk up to the counter. "Hi, I'd like a Big Mac and small vanilla shake."
   The young Gex-X'er woman behind the counter rolls her eyes. "Keeeeeenny! We got another out-of-towner!"
   A man in a white shirt who you presume to be the manager appears. "May I help you?"
   "Yeah," you tell him, "I'd like a Big Mac and small vanilla shake."
   "Um, we're not allowed to sell those anymore. The city took us to court and won, saying we were deliberately marketing harmful products to children. Now we can no longer sell any kind of Happy Meal, any kind of fatty food including burgers and fries, or any kind of sugary food, which covers shakes and soft drinks. We're also forbidden from doing any movie tie-ins or using any of the McDonaldland characters on products or in advertising."
   "Cripes. Do you still sell anything at all?"
   "Yes, we have a soy burger cooked well-done on a non-carbonizing electric range, topped with nonfat cheese, lettuce, and tomatoes. We also have three kinds of egg-free salads with nonfat dressings, and to drink we have a variety of double-pasteurized fruit juices and certified lead-free mineral waters."
   You think about asking him if the water is double-pasteurized, too, but decide to hold your tongue. You really feel kinda sorry for the guy. What kind of bureaucrat wonks would forbid a McDonalds from marketing tasty albeit greasy food to kids? "OK," you say, "just give me a soy cheeseburger to go."
   "Coming right up. That'll be $9.28."
   "WHAT??!?!" The fast-food scene from the movie "Falling Down" flashes into your mind for just a second. "The menu right above your head says it's only $1.99!"
   "Yeah," he cringes, obviously not for the first time. "But the city's added a lot of taxes. Let's see, there's the regular 9% sales tax, plus a 47% food sin tax, plus a $3.80-per-item fee for programs to teach kids to Just Say No to killer fast-food products made by evil scheming industries who are spending millions to get kids hooked at early ages. There's an additional $2.38-per-item fine paid by any of our suppliers who have ever dealt in beef products, which gets passed on to you. Seems they didn't do enough to ensure the fatty meat they sold stayed out of the hands of those who shouldn't have it. I'm just glad they stuck that fine to the meat producers and not us, the actual sellers."
   "Forget it--just forget it!" No city is worth this much hassle. You turn to leave when a couple of cops walk in.
   "Is that your car concealed out back?" one of them asks you.
   "Um, yeah...."
   "CAR!" he barks while tackling you, his partner drawing a bead with his gun. "You're under arrest!"
   "What for???"
   "Possession of an unregistered car, and attempting to purchase junk food. You have the right to remain silent...."

Welcome to the future of Chicago, and possibly of America. The government is your Nanny, but it's for your own good.

	This page is hosted by Get your own Free Home Page!
	Email me, Andrew Trapp, at dreamer-71@yahoo.com.