| I was at the premiere of UHF. (This is rather odd, since when UHF premiered, I was six.) For some reason, the premiere was being held in a big museum. I was chillin’ on the bottom floor, basking in the glory of being the cowriter of this marvelous film. (I really was. Well, in my head anyway.) The movie didn’t open until four o’clock, so I grabbed a bite to eat from the food stand and sat down. Whoopi Goldberg was sitting at the other end of our table. Suddenly, she scooted down the bench and started gushing over me. She had mistaken me for someone else. Le sigh. I looked at my watch…just enough time to go pick up my backpack from class. I climbed up the stairs in my pretty formal dress and went into a classroom to get my stuff. As I walked through the crowd of sitting high schoolers, the teacher saw me. “Sit down!” “But I’m just here to-“ “SIT DOWN!” “ ‘Kay…” So I grabbed a seat next to my stuff. The girl next to me leaned over and showed me her new book-The Slushbunnies. (I don’t know what they are…I’m guessing rabbits made of precipitation.) Time passed. At three o’clock, I was getting desperate. Desperately BORED…if you thought normal teachers could get boring, you should have seen THIS lady. She could make watching paint dry seem not only fascinating, but exciting. I raised my hand. “What?” “Can I leave?” “No.” In shock, I lowered my hand. What did she mean, no? I HAD to leave! I asked again. “No!” Now I was ticked. I stood up and screamed at her. “I NEED TO GO NOW!!!” She stared at me in shock, chalk in her raised hand. She opened her mouth, and I could just see her starting to say “No!” again. “Fine. Flunk me. Whatever. I’m leaving!” Grabbing my backpack, I TORE out of there. As I strode down the hallway, laughing, I heard a buzzer go off. I looked behind me. She had set the dogs on me! I ran even faster than before down the hallway, pursued by some ferocious looking rottweilers. I reached the door to the staircase, skidded through, and slammed the door right before they would have gotten me. Straightening my skirts out, I proceeded down the staircase. Leonard Nimoy passed me on the stairs, dressed like his character on Star Trek. “Leonard?” He grinned at me and proceeded up the staircase. I continued on my merry way. As I passed the landing for the second floor, I saw him again, dressed in a Zorro costume. “Leonard?!” He grinned again and kept going up. As I hit the next landing, guess who showed up? “LEONARD??” This time he was dressed as a professor. He grinned again, went up the stairs again. I was at the floor I wanted, so I left the stairs before I saw him again. I was just on my way to the theatre when I woke up. My Take On It Next Dream |
| We've Got it All on UHF 12/28/01 |