It was a cold and windy afternoon that Barry decided it’s time for a walk. He looked at me expectantly. I tried to ignore him, but his gaze followed me wherever I went. Finally, I gave in. As I reached for my coat, he started jumping up and down like a kid about to receive a box of candy. He was after all only seven years old.
Human years, that is.
We walked down the road towards the park, Barry leaning against his leash, pulling me with him as if he knew that we had to reach our destination in a hurry. Usually, he’ll want to stop and bark at Mrs. Leemayer’s cats, or he’ll go on a silly rampage chasing feathered friends… but today it was as if he had an aim. I sensed the different behavior, but thought the cold had much to do with it.
We reached the park. It was desolate with only the swings jerking in the wind and the merry-go-round turning as if little ghost children were playing a never-ending game. Round and round… the surrounding area blurring into a kaleidoscope of color and lives. Flashes of teeth swirling against the wind. I pulled my collar tighter around my neck and knelt down to unleash Barry.
He was milling around me, sniffing at mole heaps, nosing a twig… claiming his territory against the bench… But he wouldn’t leave me. The kids on the merry-go-round didn’t interest him, the invisible hands pushing the swings were foreign to him. Yet he was waiting in anticipation. I found a stick and threw it. He looked at me as if I were stupid. Something in his gaze forced me to look behind me.
I turned around expecting to see the kids on the swings to materialize, yet my eyes met those of a stranger. A young man in his mid twenties were looking straight at me with his sad gray-blue eyes. I was startled… In one second he possessed me. What’s one to say in this kind of situation? The “Hi..” froze in my throat and a croaking sound came out in stead.
A
smile lit up his face. “I expected you” he said.
“Expected me?? I do not understand,….”
The smile wavered on his face as he knelt down to touch Barry.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you” Barry does not take kindly
to strangers especially if they invade my space, but as I looked down in alarm,
I saw Barry licking his face as he usually does mine.
“I have never seen this, Barry must really like you”
“O, I do have a knack with animals” he said while wiping some of
Barry’s drool off his face.
“I’m sorry about that”
“No! It’s ok! I’m used to this animals tend to greet me in
this fashion.”
“O! I am sorry! This is Barry and I am Frank, pleased to meet you.”
“Hello Frank, I am Michael.”
I looked down at my feet. I always do that when in company of an exceptional looking specimen of mankind such as Michael. His ash blonde hair was playing in the wind forming a golden halo around his perfect face.
“May
I see that?”
for a moment I was back in reality.
“See what?”
“Your ring…”
My Russian wedding band. Four bands of gold fused together in three different
colors, a gift from an ex lover. One I rather forget, except the ring that he
gave me, reminds me of the pain and hardship everyday I touch it. This was the
ring I wanted for so long… as long as I could remember.
“It won’t come off” I lamely protested.
“It’s fine, give me your hand.”
He took my hand in his, running his index finger over the contours. He closed
his eyes.
“It is truly beautiful…” he remarked. “ But it is radiating
bad energy.”
I was numb struck.
“Why are you hurt? What happened that this ring is a symbol of? I hear
a voice crying… no… screaming. Your ring is binding you to a life
of pain because of what it represent”
His eyes were closed, but I sensed heat spreading from his hand into me.
“Who are you?”
“I am here because of you Frank. I’ve been sent to comfort you and heal you. You need guidance and I am obliged to help you. Let me be the vehicle of your desires, the beat of our heart…”
I looked at him. How could he have known?
Still
holding my hand, he started to move backwards heading for the gate. I let him
be, the leash still dangling from my arm, and gliding over the grass. I forgot
all about Barry.
“Where are we going?” I asked him, not taking my eyes off him.
“We are going home… it’s cold outside.”
I was overwhelmed and hoped he was not referring to my house, but rather to
the place where I travel to in my dreams. At the gate, he hooked his arm in
mine, and we started walking, him leading the way. Barry was following us, panting
and content. All his concentration was focused on the two men in front of him.
Being freed of the leash never occurred to him… or me at that moment.
As if in a dream, I saw my front door in front of us. Him leading the way made no sense, but it just emphasized the strong spiritual link I sensed from he start.
We went into the living room. He left me standing in the middle of the room and looked around. His eye caught the CD collection, and he walked over. He selected something and put it in the player. The sound of “Autumn Leaves surrounded the room. Edith Piaf.
The falling leaves drift by the window
The autumn leaves of red and gold....
I see your lips, the summer kisses
The sunburned hands, I used to hold
Since you went away, the days grow long
And soon I'll hear ol' winter's song.
But I miss you most of all my darling,
When autumn leaves start to fall.
Since you went away, the days grow long
And soon I'll hear ol' winter's song.
But I miss you most of all my darling,
When autumn leaves start to fall.
He took a bottle out of the wine rack, opened it and poured two glasses. Then he went over to the heating unit and switched it on. All was done in magical precision while I was standing in awe. He came and sat down next to me with the two glasses.
“Will you be joining me??” he asked.
I sat down and watched Barry relaxing in front of the heater. He took my hand in his and with eyes closed, we drank our wine. The retro romantic sound of Edith was filling the room, creeping into the deep crevices of my soul.
“Were you expecting me..” he asked
I just nodded and closed my eyes. I felt him as he was searching my soul, my hand glowing as information rushed past, to and throw. His lips on mine was logical.
His lips on mine was logical….
Not hungry and born out of lust, but rather exploring… completing the search… warm and moist… they invaded my soul, forcing me to surrender completely. I felt all inhibitions depart. The clothing on our bodies was restrictive, yet when I had a moment to take stock; I realized that we were naked. A moment of time that was so real, yet I slipped out of it comfortably.
I still get flashback of his body over mine… in mine, the feeling of room sized wings covering me and protecting me, the sound of pigeons in the attic… and the wind. The awe of seeing his being and letting him see mine, the rejuvenation of my soul,… the fleeing of fear and hatred.
I woke up as the sun was beginning to rise. I reached automatically to my right, to yet again experience him. But I was alone…
The
patio door was open, and the autumn wind was blowing strongly for the time of
day. I walked up to the door to close it. I paused… A voice carried in
the winds…
“Frank…” it said.
Frank… ……… Frank!………
I am in you Frank, … I’ll be with you
I AM YOU
Copyright 2003 LOUIS NELL