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| Dream A Little Dream ... |
03/26/02 - I’m filled with emotion at the moment ... and it’s fantastic! I’ve needed my emotions sparked. Actually, I’m always emotional, emotionally involved. It’s that passion thing, can’t hold it down. Even before last weekend, I was experiencing some very heavy passionate, emotinal feelings, and guess what provoked them? ... Reading! Yeah, it doesn’t take me much. There’s some weeks that I have music around me 24/7 and that brings much passion. When you have a hole, you’ve got to fill it. An empty hole could be dangerous. So I fill. I’m glad I’m not sensitive though. No, not much of that. I have been through too much to be phased. But emotion, that’s different for me. Tell me something, something that may even be hard for me to hear. Tell me with honesty and sincerity. Tell me with passion. I will not be offended. I may become sad, I will definitely become emotional. But, it’s the hurt that cures. There’s a word for that kind of cure ... homeopathy. And then there’s Homeostasis: the tendency of a system, esp. the physiological system of higher animals, to maintain internal stability, owing to the coordinated response of its parts to any disruptive situation or stimulus. I’m working on that coordination now, I feel it in my parts. I once discussed loneliness with an old friend and he told me that when you feel that, you’ve just got to, well, feel it. Then you have to love yourself. I think that’s a very homeostatic suggestion. I was at the grocery store this afternoon and a few things caught my attention. First, the background music the store was playing was blues. (My grocery plays the best canned music ever, I always enjoy it.) But blues, got me swaying down the isles, keeping a sort of beat. As I got in the check out line I read the back of the tee-shirt worn by the man ahead of me. It said, “Be free to be yourself.” Ah, words of wisdom on a worn out, holey tee-shirt, who would have thought. Of course I had to comment, but he couldn’t remember what the shirt said. I had to read it to him. He smiled. As I was putting my groceries in my car I was deep in thought. I noticed a young man carrying his daughter across the parking lot, but I didn’t notice enough. I guess I heard her say “hi,” I guess I heard her say “HI” a little firmer, and then I heard “HI?????” At this point I really noticed, it was like she was saying, “Hey lady, I’m talking to you!” Well, my emotions took over.” HI CUTIE!” I yelled, waving and blowing her a kiss. Her father smiled. It’s everywhere, the passion. It really is. |