2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For Sensual Massage."
3. Specify your drive-through order is "to go".
4. If you have a glass eye, ocassionally tap it with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on all little ketchup packets.
6. Insist on running your winshield wipers in all weather "to keep them tuned up".
7. Reply to everything someone says with "That's what YOU think!"
8. Practice making modem and fax noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the phrase "In accordance with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clapping your hands over your ears.
13. Dissasemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Yell random numbers when someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your tv so that the people look green and insist that you "Like it that way."
16. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
17. Publically investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
18. Honk and wave at strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE!!!!
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any puncuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and re-route whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times:
"Did you hear that?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Play the William Tell Overture by tapping it on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, annouce: "Oh wait...I messed up." Then start over again.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, ocassionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sing along at the opera.
30. Sit in your front lawn, pointing your hair-dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
32. Tell a friend 4 days prior that you can't attend their party because you "Aren't in the MOOD!"
33. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
34. Send this document to everyone you know in your email address book, even if they sent it to you, or ask you not to send things like this.
35. Title this document as "50 Ways To Annoy People."