It was the most looked forward to event of the school year. Not just for my class, but the entire elementary school. Whispering was heard in the hallways, months prior to the event. And now finally, after months of anticipation, the casting was decided. The moment had come to see who would be the star of the Kindergarten Circus. See, in my school each kindergarten class performed their interpretation of a circus for their parents and the rest of the school. It was a huge deal. We had lions, bears, ballerinas, seals, strong men, dagger throwers, fire eaters, a ringmaster and of course, clowns.
The most coveted part in the whole circus was to be "the clown sitting in the wagon with the squirt gun." This was the part sought after by every 5 year old to ever pass through the Elwood school district. Years later, they could tell their friends, "Well I was the clown with the squirt gun in the kindergarten circus." And those listening would gasp, their eyes filling with envy. Yes, this was the most treasured role in the Kindergarten Circus. But who would the lucky 5 year old be?
Well the big day had come and we all anxious to hear who was playing what. When the teacher left the room for a moment, we crowded around the her desk eagerly. Our eyes were wide and our hands were shaking as we tried to read the cast list. However none of us could read, so our attempts at spying were in vain. The teacher shoo'ed us away and told us to sit down so she could read out the parts. She took her time, saving that pivotal role for last. The tension in the room could have been cut with a plastic Easy-Bake Oven knife. "And the clown with the squirt gun is...Emily Serviss."
Me? I got the part?? I couldn't believe it! I wasn't sure if I could handle a role of such magnitude. My mom didn’t quite understand the importance of the role that I was blessed with, but she gave me all the support I could have asked for, and then some. I was determined to give it my all. We practiced for weeks. My secondary part as a ballerina dancer was brushed aside and I made sure that my clown routine was perfected. I especially made sure I had the timing right on my squirt gun cue. Finally the day of the circus arrived.
The circus opened with our long march into the auditorium and then the acts began. Everything was going beautifully, save for the kid who started crying before his sword swallowing act. The show flew by, and before I knew it...it was time for the big clown finale.
"Are you ready, Emily?"
I nodded my head and settled into the red wagon. My big red clown nose was starting to fall off so I pushed it back into place with one hand, the other gripping my squirt gun tight. The girl who was assigned to pull me around the circle took her place at the head of the wagon. She scoffed at me and picked up the black handle grudgingly. She was not very subtle in her jealousy of me having the part she wanted. I ignored her glares and went over my cue in my head. Third time around the circle, then squirt. I repeated this to myself silently.
"Okay you two, show time!" She started pulling and the wagon lurched forward. I was shaking beneath my oversized shirt and pants, and I could barely see from underneath my rainbow wig and hat. But I could hear the crowd start cheering loudly as we started our first trip round the circle. The older kids in the audience sat up and waved their arms around, trying to get my attention. They had been in the circus years ago, and they knew what was about to happen.
My nervousness melted away as a lopsided grin stretched across my face. The entire audience was looking at me! With all the attention being lavished on me, I forgot all my direction and just started squirting away. The kids whooped and hollered their approval as I hit them with a microscopic bit of water. The water stains on their shirts were no bigger than a dime, but for the rest of the day they wore them proudly. Others who had dry shirts would look at those stains glumly, wishing they had chosen seats closer to the stage.
Because I had become too enthused with my squirting too quickly, I ran out of water before our second lap even started. So I had to sit in the wagon with an empty squirt gun and simply wave at the audience. When they realized I was out of water, they "awwwed" in disappointment and sat back down as we completed our final trip round the circle.
So I messed up my starring role in the circus. But I’m fairly certain that no one remembers, other than me. In fact I bet no one else even knew of my slip-up n the first place. For all they know, I just didn’t have a big enough squirt gun. But now, years later, I can still tell people I was the clown with the squirt gun in the kindergarten circus. They look at me incredulously and say, "Really?"
And I just smile.