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Things You Don't Want To Hear From Your New College Roommate | ||||||||
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"My name's Carl, but friends just call me 'the oozer'" "I got here an hour early, so I went ahead and sat naked in both chairs" "Let's share a bed and reserve the other one for my anatomy cadaver" "Here's $50. When the cops call, you've never heard of me" "One little murder and I get expelled from my old college" "Hmm, if I kill you and make it look like a suicide, I get a 4.0" "Long story short, my twin brother goes to jail for life, I get away scott free!" "Thank goodness you've arrived -- I've been naughty and I haven't been spanked in hours!" "Youll have this place pretty much to yourself as I spend most of my time plotting the deaths of foreign leaders" "I am deathly allergic to the smell of beer, chicken wings and girls" "If I wanted to start dressing and acting like you in every way, where would I buy those shoes?" "If I ever catch you in this room again, so help me God I'll kill you" |
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