2- Heterosexual marriages are valid becasue they produce children.
Infertile couples and old people can't legally get married because the world needs more children.
3- Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents
only raise straight children.
4- Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
5- Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorece is illegal.
6- Gay marriage should be decided by people not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected
the rights of the minorities.
7- Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours,
the values of one religion are imposed on the entire counrty. That's why we have only one religion in America.
8- Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that
hanging around tall people will make you tall.
9- Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy
behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has
legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
10- Children can never suceed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.
11- Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual
marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to
new social norms because we haven't adapted to cars or longer lifespans.
12- Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with
a different name are better, because a "seperate but equal" institution
is always constitutional. Seperate schools for African-Americans worked
just as well as seperate marriages for gays and lesbians will.