From: "Divij" <divijsharma@rediffmail.com>

Subject: long mail.

This goanna be a long mail. Whatever I got in my intranet am mailing u guys.

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1. What is the beautiful girl called in Infosys?
A. Visitor.
 
2. What happens when all the Infosys girls go on a trip to moon?
A. Average beauty of the earth increases and that of moon decreases.
 
 3. What happens when hundred new girls join?
 A. Average beauty of Infosys further decreases.
 
 4. What happens when an Infosys girl has very malignant brain tumor?
 A. She will get her knee operated.
 
 5. What happens when two Infosys girls meet generally at fashion show?
 A. They will discuss the cause of the two smaller bugs in software.
 
 6. What happens when an Infosys girl contests a fashion show?
 A. She will get best possible points in the field of morale boosting.
 
 7. What happens if you present a book named "How to fall in love" to an Infosys girl?
 A. She will use it as a mouse pad.
 
 8. When there is a competition in beauty and two Infosys girls participate, it's called a competition.
 A. If an Infosys girl and other outside girl compete, it’s called overconfidence.
 
 9. What happens when two Infosys girls compete for same guy?
 A. He will commit suicide.
 
 10. What does an Infosys girl do when she hears a whistle from back?
 A. She will call her non-Infosys girl friend.
 
Quote:
~~~~~
Generally 99.9999% of the girls in the world are beautiful, rest are in Infosys
 

Written by Infosys Girls:
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Dear Infoscion guys, we were motivated to compile this after coming across the mail about girls". After all, a good gesture demands a good gesture in return!
 
1. What is it when an Infosys-guy is wearing a black t-shirt?
It's just a white t-shirt, badly in need of a good washing.
 
2. What happens when a dirty, smelly sheep and an IG. (Infosys-guy) enter a room   together?

The sheep runs out.
 
3. What happens when an IG. starts combing his hair?
 The comb gets lost in his hair.
 
4. What does an IG? Tell Julia Roberts?
Your hair reminds me of "sine curves".
 
5. Where does an IG. take his girl on the 1st date?
Obviously, to the Infosys library.
  
6. How does an IG. shine his battery (specs)?
With a shoe-shine polish.
 
 7. What do you call a guy wearing shoes in Infosys?
 A visitor.
 
 8. What happens when some i.g's go on a trip to U.S.A.?
 -average cleanliness of INDIA increases, and that of U.S.A decreases.
 
 9. What happens to the 2 ants, 1 falling on an ig's shirt, and other on a visitor's shirt?
 -the 2nd one slips down quickly, while the 1st one gets lost in the mountainous region. (Such a crumpled shirt!)
 
 10. How will an IG. tell his friend "go there"?
 He will actually GO there and say, “come here".
 
 11. What happens when an IG. falls in love?
 -he starts finding out the depth to which he's fallen, with the velocity and time of falling in love known to him.
12. What does an IG? comment about a v. pretty girl?
"Non existing function of beauty".
 
13. What happens when an IG. proceeds with a suitcase to his home-town?
On reaching home, realizes that his suitcase is missing.
 
14. What happens when an IG. is attending a wedding?
He starts developing software to find out how many people attended the marriage and how many didn't.
 
Quote:
~~~~~~
0.0001% of the garbage on earth is outside Infosys and the remaining 99.9999% is in Infosys.
 
 
Moral of this debate: 

"EITHER GIRL OR GUY, STAY AWAY FROM INFOSYS."