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24.
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***
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| some time back, i
read/heard
somewhere that they said after they knew that luo da you released his
first album <Zhi Hu Zhe Ye> that shook the chinese music industry at that time, they told
themselves that, they too, want to accomplish something by the time they
were 24. they too, wanted to have their wholly self produced album. and
they did. at 24, mayday produced their very first self titled album - <WU YUE TIAN>.
they became an instant hit and the rest, well, clichéd, but it was
history. i often think about this. where would i be at 24? somehow, 24 seems to have become this very significant year, like 18, 20 or 21 is for some people. only difference is that, 24 is not the turning point where boys become men or girls become mature ladies. 24 is the age where you become something, something you dreamt of. 24 is the realisation of a dream. and where will i be at 24? not too long ago, i watched this clip of them performing in Jan 1998. of course i was struck by their "freshness". they went unpolished, raw, out of tune and shy. but they were also true, sincere and enjoying themselves thoroughly. a mega superstar band suddenly feels so much more grounded when you see them while they were struggling. it sort of reassures me, saying "yes, they fought too". for some strange reason, my mind wandered to where i was in Jan 1998. i was in sec 4 in 1998. i can hardly remember what i was doing then, but i remember it was fun. i was 16, and my god, that seems far away. somehow, in a moment of dramatic nostalgia and overwhelming emotions, i started to think about how our lives paralleled each others'. 1998, i was leading my own life and working towards my goal then, and they were fighting for their music. now, i am where i am and they are where they have fought for. extend this model to the macro environment, so many lives running parallel to each other, fighting for their own goals, and somehow, we intersect through their music. i don't really know the point of this, but somehow, strangely enough, i feel like this is telling "go on, work hard". just yesterday, i was talking to a friend about how monster almost ended up a lawyer. i think i can understand what he went through. i can really imagine the pressure, where everyone else pins their hopes on you, expecting you to be something. and you do play along, only waiting for the perfect chance to let them into your secret. the secret that actually, you don't want to be a/an XYZ (fill in yourself). no, i am not really talking about myself. but if i take myself multiplied by 10, then maybe i kind of understand. back to the point. where will i be at 24? where will you be? where will we be? maybe you have already passed 24, but 24 is just a almost arbitrary number. you can take any number if you wish, what matters is what 24 stands for. i have no idea where i will be, or even where i want to be. i was very bothered by this, and i am still rather bothered. but i am working to solve this problem, taking active steps. because to realise your dreams, you must first have them. where will i be at 24? i still don't know, but i am definitely walking towards it now. step by step, maybe slowly, but definitely surely. so, what about you? where will you be at your 24? in our battle with life, what is for sure is that they have been there, battling with me. so, thank you, my battlemates! ***
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