Welcome to the YOU SUCK FUCKING GOAT ASS website. First, I'd like to start off my stating my goal of this website: TO HAVE YOU LICK MY CAT'S PISS-HOLE CLEAN. Okay? GOOD.
Next up, I think you should sign my guestbook, since that is the only reason most people even build websites these days. You see, anyone who sits around on the internet and on their computer all day is an obvious loser, and so they build websites. When people compliment them on these sites (people that they have never met, nor ever WILL meet, by the way) it boosts their unimaginaly low self esteems. So, click here to do that. Sign the fucking ShittbookView the fucking Shitbook If you would like to see the archives from what some of these bastard kids have said about my site, click here.
What's even better than a Guestbook? A chat forum! We all learned that with the Hatebook... so here is my very own.
THE SHITBOOK
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Up next... every good website should have a section where the author lists the people that they dislike.
1. You. Yes you, you filthy bitch, the person that is reading this right now.
Now why would I say a thing like that? And how do I personally know that I hate you, without even knowing you? I am going to leave this question blank, just to piss you off.
Next up we are going to get to see what the weather is in Somalia!
BOB JOHN CLARK
This is the point where I have a dedication cerimony to Bob John Clark. I have yet to get an actual picture of him, so I decided to paste my "vision" of him here:
For those of you that don't know, Bob John Clark is Justin's roommate. He has the gayest name in the history of names. I feel deeply sorry for him, which is why this memorial is on my page. To you, Bobby boy... to you.
Now it is time for the COUNTDOWN UNTIL RATSOUP GETS ASSRAPED section. Here we go.
Once this assraping is over, another date shall be selected, and a new assraping countdown will begin. Now the only question is, who's sloppy ass dick is going in? Don't make me head to the county jail...
Now it is time to see how many people have visited my site. This is how many people that have visited my site: A.K.A., a whole fucking lot of people. Now sign my fucking guestbook if you haven't already. I mean... only losers like it when you sign the guestbook, you fucking scrotum biting bastard.
Now it is time to see the picture of the Penis of the Month. Here is the Penis of the Month, you raggedy ass whore:
You filthy pervert. You wanted to see a penis, didn't you? ADMIT YOU! You wanted to see some cum all over some guy's face... dripping down like rain on a cool sping day. Well too bad, I didn't mean penis literally. Just "dick of the month"... a.k.a. asshole. So fuck you, woodpecker cock.
OKAY! Now it is time for everyone to take a compatibility test... you are going to see how compatible you are with Lupus. See, Lupus is looking for a husband or wife at the moment... and I've taken the liberty of helping him. (Notice: At no point do I mean any PATICULAR Lupus, you are inferring all that you may read on this sight... sicko.) Click here for that HERE BITCH.
Now for the following section PARENTAL DISCRETION IS ADVISED! This is very, very scary... and I wouldn't want anyone pissing their pants or slipping into a coma... or something like that. So DON'T go below this line if you are one of THOSE fuck ups without Mommy sitting on YOUR lap.
OH MY GOD, its brutal isn't it?! Run for cover children, I think she bites! Now thats one bad case of Canadian Herpes... no not Canadian AIDS. She deserves to have a disease that doesn't kill you straight off, the punishment is longer.
Well, after THAT fairly unappetizing event, lets move on to something a little more... well appetizing. It is now time for me to give you instructions on how to suck your own dick! Don't you feel lucky? The same can be applied to any girl that wishes to lick her own clit, but you'll need a REALLY long tongue (tongue not included)
1. Lay on your back, fetal position, pigfucker.
2. Pull your legs up above your head... you should have a pretty good view of that needle dick at this point.
3. For this part, I recommend heavy neck stretching before hand. We wouldn't want you to kill yourself by snapping your neck, now would we? Now that your neck is flexible and shit, let it have a somewhat 90 degree arch, and slip that dick on into your mouth.
4. Suck away! And remember boys, no teeth!
I've been near dead the past two days, so there were no updates. Now its time for me to tell my story about the Goldfinger/Reel Big Fish show:
I beat a teeny bopper's ass because she was in the mosh pit. The end.
This is the part where I dedicate an ENTIRE section to the Newbies. If you would like to see that, click the fuck here
Well, much like I haven't been in the Hatebook as much lately, I haven't had time to update this either. So that means we need an EXTRA SPECIAL section. I am going to call this my dedication to drugs. And what drug in paticular do I especially like? Thats right... I like rolling. So, for a special little bit on all the pills I've ever eaten, click RIGHT HERE
And now is my "I can make a fucking table, and you can't" section. And what is this table about? Trust me... you'll be pleased. To see my table, click here.
*NEW* I have a special treat for you kids who REALLY wanted to see Bob John Clark! Here he is:
And now I have another quiz for you kids. And yes, you get ACTUAL results with this one. Test your
HOMOSEXUALITY.
A.K.A., a whole fucking lot of people. Now sign my fucking guestbook if you haven't already. I mean... only losers like it when you sign the guestbook, you fucking scrotum biting bastard.
