M*A*S*H QUOTES

"Klinger, it's my considered opinion that no one is going to believe you are pregnant" Henry Blake

"Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice" Sidney Freedman

Charles Emerson Winchester: Get me Tokyo. Radar: What, on the radio? Charles Emerson Winchester: No, open the door and yell.

Major Charles Emerson Winchester III: Klinger, you are a gentleman and a lady.

Captain Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: I will not carry a gun, Frank. When I got thrown into this war I had a clear understanding with the Pentagon: no guns. I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to Old Virginia, I'll even 'hari-kari' if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun!

Hawkeye: Sidney, what's the psychiatric basis for gambling? Sidney: Sex Hawkeye: Why? Sidney: I don't know. They told me to say it. Sex is why we gamble. Sex is why we drink. Sex is why we give birth.