If any of you Malaysians
read the papers on Thursday last, you would have noticed a little article
on how the government was thinking of cracking down on Glue sniffing. Apparently
we're (as usual) following in the footsteps of our wonderful neighbours
to the South (it's always better to perform tests on hamsters first ...that's
the principle we seem to be following). It seems that glue sniffing is
a real threat...and glue might find it's way into the Dangerous Drugs and
Controlled Substances Act. No doubt this is going to pose a sticky situation
for many many people from glue manufacturers to politicians and even housewifes.
But at least the horses will have the last laugh.... eventually having
their souls depart in peace knowing their bodies were properly interred
instead of being recycled for sticking soles to shoes. Personally I think
that the people hardest hit will be Stationery shop owners...I mean I can
just see it now..."You are found guilty of trafficking 100 vials of UHU
glue and hereby sentenced to mandatory death by hanging". Oh and if any
of you still remember those anti-drug campaigns where politicians used
to set fire to effigies of syringes....we might see a new version of those
where they set fire to large models of Elephant Glue. Customs dogs will
also have to be retrained to sniff out this dangerous substance. But before
the whole of Malaysia becomes unstuck by this set of events, perhaps it
would be wise to look for adhesive substitutes. Rice porridge (kanji),
used chewing gum and nose snot are what I propose researches look into
first......I mean these are widely available and cheap. Nose snot would
be especially avalable, but we might face a problem of glut in the market
if the smog makes a comeback. Still...we could devise a way of recycling
snot from used tissue papers to make our alternative glue. Factories
would spring up and we could well become a maor exporter of the new glue.
But it's not going to solve the problem though as ex-glue addicts might
be austracised by the public and go to cow dung sniffing as a replacement.
Apparently sniffing cow dung has about the same effect a glue.... perhaps
we ought to ban cows next after all.... would be better for the ozone layer
as well. Anyway, that's all I have to say, and until next time...keep your
feet stuck on the ground....without glue of course....and keep reaching
for the KL tower.