ch17

Down in the hotel lobby the next morning, everyone is enjoying a nice continental breakfast.
Claudia- So, how was the movie?
The kids look at each other.
Matt- It was interesting…I laughed, I cried…
Greg- It sucked.
Louie- What time did you get back last night? Assuming the movie began at 9:20…you were probably back by 11:30, right?
Frankie- Well, no…because the movie was like three hours long.
Brian- So you didn’t get back here until after midnight??
Chris- I guess you could say that…
Melissa- Well, we were so thoroughly engrossed in the film, you see…
Anna- Yes…it really was a lovely picture.
Amy- Two thumbs up.
Tory- The old man’s eyebrows needed some trimming…but that was only a minor glitch, nothing big.
Melissa- We just HAD to stay for the whole movie. It was just too great to leave.
Anna- Exactly. It was the best movie I’ve ever seen.
Meagan- I left the theater only once…and that was to get some more Kleenex…(lowering her voice) wait, what am I saying?
Mrs. Raposo- Oh, it must have been EXCELLENT. I’m glad you kids went and saw it. I should take the girls.
Nicole- Uh, no Mom, that’s ok…
Greg- Yeah…you do that. Well, we better get going.
Mr. Raposo- Why the rush, Greg? Your photo shoot isn’t for another (he checks his watch) two hours.
Frankie- Oh, well you see…we need to…organize young Matthew’s suitcase.
Matt- Huh?
Chris- Oh, right. The socks are right next to the shirts- not good.
Jesse- And plus…I have to check on Murphy.
Mrs. McCartney- Who’s Murphy, dear?
Amy- His pet-
Tory clamps her hand over Amy’s mouth.
Tory- Rock!
Mr. McCartney- You have a pet rock, son?
Jesse- No!
Greg elbows Jesse.
Jesse- Yes...
Claudia- Right…well boys, we have to leave in less than two hours so be back down here ready to go by noon.
Frankie- Sure thing.
The ten kids jog over to the elevator and head up to the eighth floor. When they get to their rooms, they split up to get ready to leave for the photo shoot, which the girls will be attending.
*In the guys’ hotel room*
Chris has already showered and is putting his cologne on in front of the mirror.
Chris- (to his reflection) Damn Chris…you are sexy…(he sniffs himself) And you don’t smell too bad either!
Frankie walks by and makes a face.
Frankie- Dude…is there any cologne left?
Chris- Yes…duh. Oh, but don’t you have your own? Like…Juniper Breeze?
Frankie- (rolling his eyes) I do not wear body spray. Only girls do.
Chris bites his lower lip as he casually knocks a bottle of Juniper Breeze body spray off of the dresser.
Matt is topless in the corner of the room, going through all his jerseys.
Matt- (frantically tossing his shirts around) Favre…Barber…Jeter…damn it! What jersey should I wear?
Greg- Matt…I’d like to share a bit of fashion advice with you. Lose the jerseys.
Matt- Greg! This is who I AM! I can not go to a shoot without a jersey…I wouldn’t be being true to myself.
Greg- Whatever…why not dress more like me?
Matt- Hmm…let’s think…maybe because you wear SWEATERS?!
Greg- Sweaters look good on me!
Matt- Pff…sure…
Jesse- (his head under the bed) Hi, Murphy! Murphy wanna cracker?
Frankie- Jesse…?
Jesse- Not now, Frankis. Hang on. (Cooing) Does Murphy wanna cracker? Huh? Huh? OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jesse slides out from under the bed, breathing hard.
Greg- What is it-?
Jesse- (standing up, grabbing his finger in pain) He…he…BIT ME!
Chris- (fiddling with his hair) Good one.
Jesse- No REALLY!
Matt- Oh NO! It’s just as I thought…you’re gonna get RABIES! You’re gonna be all sick…and die…even worse, you’ll start foaming at the mouth! Ah!!!!!
Frankie, Greg, Jesse- OH NO!
Jesse- You guys are worried about me, huh?
Frankie- No…I was just worried about your foam getting on my stuff.
Greg- Same here…that’d be disgusting.
Jesse- (bouncing up and down) Well…SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING! Call the hospital, call my mom, call Animal Control!
Frankie- It’s ok…it’s ok…don’t panic…uh, uh…
Greg- Um…um…let’s go to the vet!
Matt- Yeah, yeah!
Jesse- The VET?!
Frankie- Yeah…it won’t take long…they’ll just give you a tranquilizer or something.
Jesse- WHAT?!
Matt- Don’t worry…the worst that can happen at the vet is if they put you to sleep.
Frankie, Matt, and Greg drag a hysterical Jesse out the hotel room door.
Chris, who has been concentrating immensely hard on his now perfect hair, turns around to find an empty room and an open door.
Chris- Hmm…I wonder where they went?
Chris shrugs before grabbing his balm and sliding it in the back pocket of his UFOs. Checking himself out in the mirror, Chris doesn’t notice the loose rat behind him.
Chris- Yeah! (Blows a kiss) Ah…(Points) Sex-ay!
Murphy approaches Chris’s leg. After a moment, he goes in for the kill…
Chris- OWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

***

In the girls’ room…
Melissa- Did you guys just hear that?
Anna- Yeah…somebody screamed…
Tory- And it sounded like Chris!
Tory sprints to the door, flinging it open. The four others shrug and jog over behind her. They enter the open door across the hall to find a wounded Chris hopping around, grabbing his right ankle.
Tory- CHRIS! Are you ok?!?!?!
Chris- (wincing and hopping) Yeah…I’m cool…
Amy- What happened- AH! RAT!!
Meagan- RAT?!
The five girls scream and start hopping around before leaping up onto a bed.
Tory- Chris! Do something!
Chris- (through clenched teeth) I tried…sweetheart…but it already bit me…
Anna- WHAT?!
Melissa- Call the vet!
Chris- WHAT?!
Meagan- The vet?
Amy- Yeah, yeah, they work MIRACLES!
Chris- How do you know?
Amy- My dog Chloe one time swallowed a tape dispenser and then the vet had to take it out.
Tory- A tape dispenser?!
Amy- (shrugs) Guess she wanted to lose weight, but was too chicken to try stapling!
Amy starts cracking up, as the others ignore her.
Meagan- We have to get him to the vet…he could have RABIES!
Melissa- He’ll need a tranquilizer…and fast!
Melissa, Meagan, Anna, Amy- Let’s go!
The four girls drag the moaning Chris out the door.
Tory- (yelling after) Don’t worry, Chris, I’ll save you!

***

In Matt’s car on the way to the vet…
Frankie sits in back with a hysterical Jesse.
Jesse- (sobbing) I don’t wanna die! I don’t wanna get put to sleep! I-
Frankie- Shh…calm down, Jess. You’re not gonna die.
Greg- (talking into the overhead mirror from his seat up front) Jesse…this wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for you bringing Melvin back to our hotel-
Jesse- (between sobs) It’s M-M-MURPHY!
Matt- (concentrating on the road) Greg, don’t torture the poor soul. He has rabies…that’s bad enough.
Frankie- How far away is the vet’s? Because I just remembered…we have am interview on that show today.
Greg- Oh yeah! ‘38 Minutes’! Well great, now we’ll be late…Jesse, you ruin everything.
Greg leans his head on the window.
Matt- Greg, Greg…the vet I know is only about five more minutes away. We take Juno there all the time.

***

In Meagan’s car on the way to the vet…
Meagan is at the wheel, with Anna next to her up front. Chris sits in the back middle, with Tory and Melissa on either side of him. Amy refused to sit squashed with a rabid Chris, so she was given the choice of a trunk seat, or the top of the car. And so, Amy is currently strapped to the top of the Diablo.
Chris- (holding onto his ankle so tight, his foot is turning purple) How…much…longer?
Tory- (her arm around him) Not too much longer, sweetie.
Chris- How about you go a little faster, Meagan?!
Meagan- I can’t! Amy is tied to the top of this thing. If I go too fast, she’ll fly off the back.
Melissa- Why didn’t she just pick the trunk?
Anna- Maybe she wanted to get some fresh air.

***

On top of the Diablo…
Amy is getting pelted with dead fly after dead fly.
Amy- Ew! (A fly disappears into her open mouth)

***

Five minutes later, the red convertible screeches into the parking lot of Furry Friends Animal Hospital. Matt and Greg hop out, and Frankie slides out his side of the back seat. The three of them pull Jesse out and guide him into the waiting area.
Once inside, the three boys sit Jesse down on a chair and walk up to the front desk.
Receptionist- Hello, and welcome to Furry Friends Animal Hospital! (She grabs a form) What is the name of your furry friend?
Frankie- Jesse. Well…he’s not that hairy…just normal.
Receptionist- (filling out her form) I see…is Jesse a male or a female?
Greg- One can never tell.
Matt elbows Greg.
Matt- Jesse is a male. Unless of course there’s something he’s not telling us…
Frankie elbows Matt.
Frankie- Male.
Receptionist- (scribbling things down) Mm hmm…how old is Jesse?
Frankie- Fourteen.
Receptionist- Wow! Is this just a check-up or is Jesse having some health problems? Limping? Not eating? Blindness, deafness, diarrhea?
Matt and Greg burst out laughing. Frankie keeps a straight face.
Frankie- Actually, we are afraid Jesse may have rabies.
Receptionist- Oh my…was Jesse bit by a raccoon?
Frankie- No, a rat.
Receptionist- (still jotting away) Did Jesse receive a rabies vaccination as a puppy?
Matt and Greg are totally losing it.
Frankie- Uh…the vet he saw seemed to have forgotten...he got a flu shot, though.
Receptionist- (puzzled) Good…uh, what breed is Jesse?
Frankie- Um…um…Irish…Irish Wolfhound.
Receptionist- Ah, a big boy, eh?
Frankie- Um…average to tall I’d say.
Receptionist- Where is Jesse?
Frankie, Greg, and Matt point over to the boy slumped on a bright orange chair.
Greg- There he is. Oh, Jesse! (He whistles)
Matt- Come here, boy! Come on!
Receptionist- (biting her lower lip) Jesse is…is…a young man. I…I thought he was a dog…?
Matt- His old girlfriend Minia told him that before they broke up.
Receptionist- So, you boys lied?
Frankie- No! Jesse may have rabies, he was bit by a rat!

***

Meanwhile, the Diablo turns slowly into the Furry Friends Animal Hospital parking lot.
Chris- Faster! Go faster! Damn…
Meagan- If you say one more word about “faster”, I will kick your…no. I will cut your hair!
Chris shuts up.
Tory- Hurry! Hurry! Chris needs help!
Meagan pulls the car up at the entrance as Tory and Melissa help Chris out and lead him up to the door. They walk in…
Receptionist- (rolling her eyes) The vet is for animals.
Greg- Have you no heart?! My friend here…he may die! And all you can say is “The vet is for animals”?
Melissa- (leading the other two inside) Plus…humans are part of the mammal species, along with animals.
Greg- Yeah…(he turns around) Melissa?
Melissa- Greg?
Melissa and Greg- What are you guys doing here?!
Melissa- Chris has rabies.
The receptionist lowers her head.
Greg- No way! So does Jesse!
Jesse- (moaning) Greg…shut…up…
Tory and Melissa sit Chris down next to Jesse as the door opens again. In walk Anna, Meagan, and Amy.
Matt- Meagan!
Frankie- Anna!
The two couples hug.
Matt- Why, Amy, you look like a giant fly-swatter…
Amy- (through clenched teeth) Thank you, Matt.
Greg- What happened to you?
Amy- Well, Greg, in case you’d like to know, I was given the choice to ride in either the trunk of Meagan’s car, or the top of Meagan’s car. I wanted to be able to breathe, so I chose the top of the car. I was strapped on with my silver sparkly belt, and escorted here via “FlyAmerica”.
Greg- (laughing) Amy, that’s a good one! Get it, Fly America? Haha!
Frankie- I’ve never heard you use such large words.
Anna- She’s a totally different person when she’s pissed.
Meagan- Now I know how to drive her to school the morning of a test!
Receptionist- I can take the two boys back now…
Tory and Melissa help Chris and Jesse to the back room.
The six others sit down on the bright orange chairs.
Anna- Amy, do you want to get cleaned up? They might have a doggy bath or something.
She and the four others laugh. Amy turns to look at Anna.
Amy- Anna, I might have fly guts all over me, but don’t forget that I am a cheerleader and I’m pissed…and that’s not a good combination.
Meagan- Oh, well right. We wouldn’t want a lower score in “Super Cheerleading Deluxe”.
Amy- You know what, Meagan? You just might get one.
The group talks a little more.
Matt- What time is it?
Frankie- (checks his watch) About 1:45. Why?
Greg- Oh shit…we missed that photo shoot…
Matt- Crap! That’s right!
Frankie- Uh oh…
Anna- Well, two group members got sick…that’s a fair excuse, I’d say.
Meagan- Exactly.
Frankie- Well…and we’ve got ’38 Minutes’ this afternoon too…at 2:22…
Greg- This is not a good day…
Amy- (muttering) You’re telling me.
A couple minutes later, Chris, Jesse, Tory, Melissa, and the receptionist return to the waiting area.
Meagan- Well…?
Receptionist- The boys do not have rabies.
Tory- They were just in pain…(she looks at Chris) Very real pain, I’m sure. Poor thing…
Melissa- Amy, Jesse’s fine. He was a very good puppy…(she laughs as Jesse glares at her)
Greg- (standing up) Well, that’s good news. Milkbone, guys?
Greg waves sample dog biscuits in front of Jesse and Chris.
Chris- (smacking Greg’s hand) Shut up.
Frankie- We’ve gotta get going. Thanks so much for your help!
Receptionist- Oh, no problem…
The ten kids hurry out the door and pile back into the cars, five to each.

***

In Matt’s car…
Anna sits up front, with Chris, Amy, and Greg in the back.
Chris- Amy, you smell…
Amy- Thanks.
Anna- Well, we had to drive past the landfill to get here...she probably absorbed some of that odor…
Greg- Can we please open some windows?
Matt- Sure…(he presses the window button, and Greg and Chris lean their faces out the back windows)

***

In Meagan’s car…
Frankie sits up front, with Tory, Jesse, and Melissa in the back.
Tory- I’m so glad Chris is ok…
Melissa- I’m so glad we’re not in the vet anymore…if I had to look at one more heartworm poster, I was going to throw up.
Jesse- Aren’t you guys glad I’m ok?
Melissa and Tory- Sure, uh huh.
Frankie- I’m going to put on Z100…(he turns the dial)
“Let me take you by the hand and…”
Frankie and Jesse- AH!!!!!!!!
Meagan- (startled, then angry) Oh my god…WHAT?!
Frankie- Gimme your phone for a sec.
Frankie dials up Matt’s number.
Matt- Hello?
Frankie- Matt! Turn on Z100 RIGHT NOW!
Matt- Riiiight…(he turns the dial)
“You make me feel I’m so alive…”
Matt, Chris, Greg- AHHHH!!!!!!!
Matt- Thanks, Frankie!
Frankie- No prob! See ya!
Matt- Later!
*Click*
*Click*
Frankie and Jesse dance around in their seats, and the three girls finally hear what’s on the radio.
Tory- Oh! It’s their song!
Melissa- That is SO cute!
Meagan- (giving Frankie the look) Very nice…