ch8

Later that evening, the group is hanging out at the mall (the one with Fuzziwig’s Candy Factory). Jesse darts across the hallway, clearly suffering from a sugar rush. The others sit on the benches in the center of the hall.
Jesse- (running and jumping onto a bench, then leaping off the back) WEE!!!
Frankie- Oh my god, child.
Amy- Jesse’s your Godchild??
Frankie- Oh, you bet.
Chris- Yeah. Frankie’s the Godfather.
Meagan- Cool beans!
Jesse- (running back and leaping over the group, who ducks) No…JELLY BEANS!
Greg- Jesse, shut up…
Tory- We haven’t even gone to your store yet.
Melissa- Why is he so nuts?
Jesse- (sliding on the ground) I want nuts!
Matt- Who gave Jesse candy?
They all turn to look at Amy.
Amy- WHAT?! I did not do it.
Anna- Jesse, who gave you candy?
Jesse- (singing with lots of attitude) I’m cravin’ for you, I’m missin’ you like candaaaaaaaay…
Frankie- Oh Lord…somebody shut him up…
Chris- Dude…this is so humiliating…
Meagan- MCCARTNEY YOU BETTER SHUT THE H-
Matt clamps his hand over Meagan’s mouth.
Matt- Phew…that was close.
Tory- Jesse…come on. Be quiet.
Jesse- Only if Frankie will buy me clothes.
Frankie- Done!
He grabs Jesse’s arm and leads him off down the crowded halls to buy some new clothes.
Matt- I wanna go to the Yankees store. Who’s coming with?
Meagan- ME!!
Anna- I will too, cause Frankie’s gone.
The three walk off in the opposite direction.
Amy- Anybody up for Cheerleading Outlet?
Tory, Chris, Melissa, Greg- Nope.
Amy- (sadly) Oh…
Greg- I’m up for McDonald’s!
Chris- Me too!
Tory- Uh…we just ate dinner about an hour ago.
Greg- You can’t be serious…
Chris- Chicken Burgettes count as dinner?
Melissa- Uh…yeah…?
Amy- Well, I am still hungry. Come on, boys, let’s go.
Greg and Chris shrug and set off with Amy for McDonald’s.
Tory- Uh! That was rude of her!
Melissa- I know! Leaving me here with you…
Tory- Haha. Why is Amy always hungry?
Melissa- I know…
Tory and Melissa look at each other and gasp, “Man-stealer!”

***

Jesse and Frankie walk past stores. Jesse hasn’t chosen an outfit yet.
Jesse- OOH! Frankie, Frankie, look!!
Frankie- What?
Jesse- (pointing) Tommy Hilfiger!!
Frankie- Oh no…
Jesse sees multiple TJ shirts on the racks near the front and begins sorting through them.

***

Matt, Meagan, and Anna roam around in the Yankee Store, staring at everything in awe.
Anna- Oh my god, I can’t believe it!! It’s a Shane Spencer jersey!!
Meagan- And the gray Jeter jersey! I don’t have that one!
Matt- Look at that blue visor! The bill is so crisply folded!
Meagan- Do I have my Yankee Visa with me…(she digs in her back jeans pockets)…YES!
Anna- Alright! Yankee Visa…it’s everywhere you want to be.
Matt- Oh yeah, that’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout.

***

Amy, Chris, and Greg are at the McDonald’s counter in the food court ordering a second dinner. The boys read a Rolling Stone article about Britney Spears as Amy orders.
Amy- Five Oreo McFlurries…and three Filet o’ Fish things…three large fries…and three medium Cokes…oh and can I get some of those cookies?
Cashier- Will that be all?
Amy- What do you think we are, birds?? These two still have to order!
The cashier looks over at the boys, who stare dreamily at the magazine.
Amy- (elbows Greg) You have to order.
Greg- Ow…I want a number six.
Cashier- (punches in #6 on her keyboard and turns to Chris) And for you?
Chris- Hmm…say, you wouldn’t happen to have lobster here, wouldja?
Cashier- Kid, this is McDonald’s. Take a burger or take a hike.
Greg- (mumbling) Ouch…that was harsh.
Chris- Uh…well…oh come on! You have to have more than just burgers and fish.
Cashier- We got chicken nuggets.
Chris- Chicken nuggets kiss a-
Greg- (covers Chris’s mouth) Kick ass. Woo hoo…chicken nuggets. That’s right. Chris LOVES chicken nuggets.
Amy- It didn’t sound like it-
Greg keeps a straight face at the cashier as he kicks Amy’s shin.
Amy- OW!
Chris- Um…is there a restaurant here that is of a little higher quality?
The cashier’s expression doesn’t change as she points at Arby’s.
Chris- (turns and almost gags) Nuh uh…no way.
Amy- What’s wrong with Arby’s?
Cashier- Kid, you’re holdin’ up the line.
Chris- ALRIGHT, alright. Fine. I’ll have a stupid cheeseburger.

***

Tory and Melissa wander around aimlessly in Delia’s.
Tory- I can’t believe her.
Melissa- How could she do this to us?
Tory- I say we get revenge.
Melissa- OK! How?
Tory- Let’s just say next time little miss Rah Rah wants to play “Super Cheerleading Deluxe”, we are so in.
Melissa and Tory laugh evilly.

***

A bit later, Amy, Chris, Greg, Meagan, Matt, Anna, Melissa, and Tory sit on the benches near the exit. Meagan, Matt, and Anna all have full bags of Yankee merchandise.
Greg- Dude, Amy, you eat like a cow.
Amy- I do not!
Chris- Yes you do…and I think that burger was underdone…(He sways before catching himself on the edge of the bench)
Tory- Oh no! Are you ok? Amy, you tried to kill him!
Melissa- (gasps) I shall call you…Evil Cheerleader McDonald.
Matt- I’d like to hear Jesse say that one.
Amy- I did NOT try to kill him! Where do you come up with these things?
Anna- (modeling the Shane Spencer jersey) What do you think?
Meagan- (clapping) Gorgeous, dear. Gorgeous.
Just then, Frankie walks up to the group, looking depressed.
Matt- Francis! Why so blue?
Frankie- Wait till you see my client.
The others look at each other, and their eyes spot the approaching Jesse. He sports white UFOs, and the TJ shirt…in blue.
Anna- Oh no…
Meagan- Galasso, weren’t you supposed to help him with that?
Frankie- I couldn’t help it! The loon snatched my wallet and threatened to spend all my money at Fuzziwig’s…
Jesse- (walking up with a huge grin) What do you think? Isn’t it great?
Chris- It’s…the TJ shirt.
Jesse- (emptying the bag’s contents onto the bench) Assorted colors and textures.
Greg- Whoa…brotha how many did you buy?
Jesse- They only had twenty different ones. Oh, but I got another red one. (He smiles)
The others gasp and look at each other. Frankie shakes his head.
Anna- And you charged it to Frankie’s account?
Jesse nods, the smile getting larger.
Meagan- McCartney…you’re a thief.
Jesse- What?! No I’m not.
Matt- How much did all that cost?
Frankie- (muttering, his head down) About one grand.
Matt, Meagan, Tory, Chris, Amy, Melissa, Greg, Anna- ONE GRAND?!
Jesse- WOO HOO! I’ve never spent that much in one day! Well, this one time, at Fuzziwig’s…

***

Later that evening, at the hotel…
The group is hanging out in the lobby, thinking of things to do.
Amy- We could cook!
Anna- What? I already cooked a feast.
Melissa- Anna, dear, your feast wasn’t edible.
Jesse- Then why did we eat it??
Chris- Oh no…
Anna- Guys, relax. Melissa’s just joking. She loves Chicken Burgettes.
Frankie- (sarcastically) As do the rest of us.
Matt- 11 o’ clock SportsCenter should be on in…(He checks his watch) 13 minutes!
Meagan- (leaping up) Then we haven’t much time!
Matt and Meagan- (posing much like the tango) To the hotel room!
They dart off to the elevator.
Greg- Um…
Tory- That was a bit strange.
Frankie- (shrugs, standing up from his perch on a bench) Well, we should probably go with.
Amy- Why?
Frankie- Well, leaving a guy and a girl alone in a hotel room can’t be good.
Greg- Hey…you’re right. Shall we, Melissa?
Melissa- Haha very funny.
Jesse- Huh? I don’t get it.
Frankie- You’re too young to understand.
Chris- Well, I will go if Tory comes with me.
Tory- I wouldn’t dare leave my Christopher!
The others roll their eyes as the two hug.
The eight slowly make their way up to the eighth floor and down the hall to the guys’ room, only to discover that the door is locked.
Frankie- Oh no!
Anna- This can’t be good…
Greg- Who’s the man? Matt’s the man!
Chris- (whispering to Tory) I taught him everything he knows.
Melissa- You guys have sick minds.
Tory- But what if they’re right?
Amy- Go Meagan!
Jesse- What? I didn’t know Meagan was on the Yankees…
Frankie- Oh yeah. She’s a pitcher.
Anna- Tonight she’s starting.
Jesse- SHE IS?! Well, we’ve GOT to get in there and watch!
Melissa- Relax, you spaz. She doesn’t pitch for the Yankees.
Amy- Oh, cause I was gonna say…she never told me.
Tory- Hmm…wonder why.
Greg- (knocking on the door) Matt! Oh, Matt!
Chris- Come open the door, big guy!
Anna- Come on, Meagan! We know what you two are doin’ in there!
Frankie- Get it on!
Jesse- (dancing around) Go Matt, it’s your birthday…
Just then the door opens, and the group turns to see an old man in the doorway.
Chris- Matt…how you’ve aged…
Greg- I didn’t know that kind of stuff did that to a guy…
Anna- Golly gee…I wonder what Meagan looks like…
Tory- I hope her hair is still in good shape…
Melissa- Oh boy…not good…
Amy- Geez…you look bad.
Jesse- Matt! You look like my grandpa!
Frankie- Uh…you’re not Matt…are ya?
Old Man- (in a grumpy voice) You kids might want to check the room number before you disturb anyone else.
Frankie- (pointing to the room next door and whispering loudly) Right.
The old man slams the door as the kids explode into nervous laughter.
Greg- Dude…I can’t believe I just did that…
Melissa- That was BEYOND embarrassing.
Jesse- What if my mom found out I did that?
Amy- Our mom’s are over an hour away.
Chris- Lucky. But no one will be saying anything to our moms.
Tory- Yeah, come on, that would be stupid.
Anna- I guess we should go to the right door now.
The others nod and walk another ten feet to the guys’ (real) door. They find that it is unlocked and they walk in to find Matt and Meagan merely five inches from the TV screen.
Frankie- What is so in-
Matt and Meagan- SHH!
They close the door and walk over by the TV.
Greg- (whispers to Chris) What is the deal…?
Chris- No idea.
A commercial comes on, and the others notice Matt and Meagan are close to tears.
Anna- Oh my god…what happened?
Amy- Did Derek Jeter die??
Meagan- Don’t you think I’d be just a tad more upset if that were the case?
Tory- Well how should we know…?
Matt- Tino…Tino…
Meagan- Tino Martinez is going to be a free agent next year!
They sigh sadly, looking at the ground.
Frankie- Tino Martinez…?
Anna- OH NO!
Matt- He’s only the best first baseman in the whole league…and a true Yankee great.
Anna and Meagan- Also the best looking.
Jesse- So…a Yankee first baseman is really a secret agent that-
Matt and Meagan- NO!
Matt- A FREE agent.
Amy- Ok…so you don’t have to pay him to be an agent…isn’t that good?
Anna- A free agent is when the person’s contract is up, and they are sort of up-for-grabs to any other team, including the one that they were just on if possible. (She looks at Meagan) How was that?
Meagan- (nodding in satisfaction) I have taught you well.
Melissa- Well, boo hoo. Anyway...what should we do?
Greg- We could…go gambling!
Frankie- Oh yeah, good one.
Chris- Try something legal.
Greg- Oh…
Amy- I KNOW! We could watch my cheerleading video!!!!!!!
Jesse- YEAH!
Meagan, Melissa, Anna, Tory- NOOOO….
Tory- NO WAY…
Meagan- That’s illegal all in itself!
Anna- We could sue you for cruel and unusual punishment!
Melissa- Yeah, and we didn’t even do anything!
The four girls lean on each other and pretend to cry.
Matt- I take it you guys have already had the privilege of viewing it.
The all groan, nodding.
Meagan- Only about five million times.
Anna- It is the WORST video EVER.
Tory- I give it two thumbs way down.
Melissa- HORRIBLE. That’s all I have to say. Also boring, stupid, waste-of-time…
Amy- Oh come on, PLEASE?!
Greg, Matt, Chris, Frankie, Melissa, Meagan, Anna, Tory- NO.
Greg- I’m far too cool to watch a cheerleading video.
Chris- Same here. (They do their handshake)
Matt- “Cheerleaders are dancers who have gone retarded”.
Amy and Jesse- HEY!
Amy- But way to use Bring It On as an excuse.
Matt- I try.
Jesse- What about Frankie?
Frankie- Sorry, but I’d be more content watching the Tellietubbies.
Jesse- Oh, then why didn’t ya say so?? (He jumps up to go dig in his suitcase)
Amy- Jesse, no…
Chris- What the…?
Greg- What is he doing?
Meagan- McCartney, do you mean to tell us that you have a Tellietubbies movie with you?
Amy- (pinning Jesse to prevent him from getting to his suitcase) Of course he doesn’t!
Jesse- But- (Amy clamps her hand over Jesse’s mouth, and he and lowers his eyebrows at her)
Amy- (whispering to Jesse) You can’t tell them…this is OUR secret.
Anna- But what?
Tory- Amy, why must you restrain him?
Melissa- Let the poor child speak.
Frankie- Nah…it’s more peaceful this way.
Anna elbows Frankie.
Frankie- Ow!
Matt- I say we…hmm…
Amy- I know! We could go ice-skating!
Meagan- Stupid…it’s the middle of the summer.
Amy- Oh yeah.
Anna- We could…um…
Tory- Do our nails and makeup!
The guys clear their throats.
Tory- Oh yeah.
Chris- We could always…
Greg- Make out!
They slap hands.
Melissa- Oh god…
Frankie- Or we could do something crazy!
Meagan- Like what, Galasso?
Matt- Tell us, oh Lord of the Stoplights…
Anna- Oh you hush.
Frankie- We could go see American Pie 2!
Jesse- (shakes his head, then pulls Amy’s hand off his mouth) My mom would never let me.
Tory- I don’t think the theater would let us into that without an adult anyway.
Frankie- Exactly…which is why we don’t buy tickets for it.
Matt- But that would be…stealing…
Frankie- In the sense…no, because we’d still be buying tickets.
Matt- But I thought you said-
Frankie- We would buy the tickets for another movie…something pointless, like…Shrek.
Jesse- Oh my god I wanna see that!
Amy- ME TOO!
Greg- You guys are welcome to stay in that theater while the rest of us sneak into AP2.
Chris- Well, it’s not like I’ll be watching the movie anyway. (He winks at Tory)
Meagan- I am SO in. The long-awaited sequel to American Pie…I love it.
Melissa- I wonder if they’ll outdo the first…
Anna- I dunno if that’s possible.
Amy- (confused) Um….uh…yeah…
Tory- Have you ever seen it?
Amy- Are there any cheerleaders involved?
Matt- Not as far as I can remember.
Amy- Nope. Haven’t seen it.