So these two bony old men-Carl "I'm old and bony" Pohlad and Bud "Not only am I old and bony but I have a bad haircut to boot" Selig are trying to contract the my beloved Twins. Actually I care more about the Worlds Strongman Competition than I do the Twins. Baseball is a boring boring sport to watch, so I guess I could care less whether or not the Twins are contracted. I think I'd rather watch midget wrestling than baseball. If the Twins are contracted, I could spend the four seconds I spend watching them a season and use it to do more important things, like blink my eyelids.
While we are talking about contraction, think what it would be like if unsuccessful things in every category were contracted. T.V. could contract Jenny Jones and Rikki Lake. Heck, they could contract the entire W.B.! Lets expand this into the food industry. I'd like to contract brussel sprouts, cauliflower and broccolli. Contract all words that don't make sense, like disheveled. Have you ever heard of the word heveled? How can you be disheveled if heveled has no meaning? Don't get me started on that... We could start to contract people too, like lazy people and bullies. We could contract the middle east! That would solve our problem with Afghanistan too! Hmm... I think I'm on to something here.