6:29 PM April 29, 2007
Ok, so I was hanging out at my 6th favorite internet forum, reading oveer the generally pointless, trite topics about nothing when I came across a thread by my buddy "Phil" entitled "Global Warming? Forget it!" Here is the copy of the article posted. Yeah, I made sure it was cited... Woo, go me!
Interesting eh? Yeah, I thought so too. However, something has occured to me. Everybody needs to desperately believe global warming will kill us all otherwise we will all die from global warming. My reasoning is this, since it isn't PROVEN that humans aren't the cause, we have a chance to get the greater public as a whole to believe in something enough to actually take a stand against letting our planet rot.
Hmmmmm, on the other hand, everybody seems to wanna debunk this global warming thing very badly. It is quite obviously an evil plot, likely disseminated from a neo-hippie group plotting world greenification. A fate much more terrible than death, if only for all the women who will quit shaving their legs. *shudders*
But really, the planet is important, and if I can draw you back to the Lord of the Rings for a second, I will remind you that the shire was really cool and there was no pollution in it. Just think about those rolling green hills, with houses inside. I bet the hobbits even had an intricate wind power system set up! Gotta power all those hobbit booze parties somehow! Gandalf magic isn't going to cover everything. Apparently, the film took place in New Zealand. We must as a global community look to New Zealand as the new enviornmental leaders of our planet, and quickly adhere to their methods of living!
Although, it really is more convienent for me to keep on living like I have been. Humans are rather adaptable, so in the instance that global warming is true and the hippies were right, the incresed heat will make us sweat a little more, therefore becoming more physically capable. So basically, our species will become fit again!
Global Warming, battling obesity the easy way!
I think my job is done here
3:13 PM April 21, 2007
While it has never been said that Somethingawful.com is the most important source of information on the internet, I think it needs a little credit in that the writers seem to be able to at least form an opinion that is mildly coherent, while maintaining an appropriate level of win and funny.
So initially, I was unimpressed with the series "The Great American Reach Around," considering the amount of lolz I let out during the read was minimal, but it did good in pointing out one thing to me. Specifically, this... which inevitably led to this.
It is inspiring that a man would make such a noble, heart felt statement in response to such an awesome, and most likely true video about our favorite blue/green enviornmentalist! I feel that Belfast will soon be gripped with the passion for peace felt in both this man and this episode.
Onto the topic at hand. Nukes are BAD. Radioactive fallout from bombs designed to take out Protestants is undoubtedly a bad thing, because not only are we Protestant, but the Catholics have to leave town too. Serves em right, I say. Anyway, hate is wrong and it leads to things like war and pollution, so Captain Planet had the right idea trying to stop all the violence. This is my very favorite episode of Captain Planet.
On as serious a note as I can muster, what's up with that whole Catholic/Protestant thing over there anyway? Is this what MLK was talking about in that one speech? Is it really THAT bad? So bad that someone would be dumb enough to set off a nuke in the middle of a city without thinking about any fallout consequences? I know the Irish drink a lot, but whats the deal? Even intoxicated, I've never seen anybody act that dumb.
WAit, scratch that. Yeah I have
well there goes my entire article
EDIT April 29, 2007
As far as salvage goes, this is the best example of what I'm talking about that can describe the stupidity of the average internet user and still be sort of on point with the first paragraph of this little article. Mostly though, it applies to what I'm about to say. (Along with everything else I've shown you)
How can there be people this stupid?
I'm too disturbed to go on
4:35 PM April 15, 2007
So yeah, this is gonna be my project for enviornmental science. Basically, I'm going to find enviornmental articles and write a (hopefully) humorous reaction to them, meanwhile informing the masses of the truth behind all this fun enviornmental stuff. Most likely, I'll end up making a fool of myself, but in my past experiences, that hasn't been so bad a thing either.
I WAS gonna make a sweet video about the adventures of an enviornmental superhero, but this will prolly work if I actually put some kind of effort into it, though I don't know how much stuff I'm going to come across. It'll prolly depend on how often I access the internet for leisure. Which ranges from 0 - 90 hours a week. (rough estimate)
Anyway, this video was gonna be AWESOME! It was gonna have all sorts of fun parodies and stuff, basically I was gonna kick an Oil Company Exec down a well "300" style, I was going to get Chuck Norris to do a monstrous Guest Spot telling everybody that global warming wasn't real. There was going to be musical montages with the songs "Sunshine Day" by the Brady Bunch, and Mmbop by Hanson. Alas, the video was never meant to be. It hit a serious design flaw in that I own no camera.
Lastly, there was going to be a funny exerpt of one of my friends having an irrellivent IM conversation, but that would've probably been cut due to racy scenes. You know how it goes.
My first enviornmental issue probably has something to do with pollution. Basically, pollution is bad. Sludge is ok, but pollution is bad.