once1

Once Remembered Chapter 1

Once Remembered Chapter One
When she was told, invisible hands seemed to choke at her throat; no premonition could prepare anyone for this. She had known something would go terribly wrong the moment the phone began to ring, crying out into a dark night.
"Charlie? Charlie, I’m sorry I didn’t want to be the one to tell you, it’s just that, well, they need you here. You have to come down." Charlene Bennington-Tate could hear the voice on the phone, but she couldn’t respond. The hands, the cold hands, gripping at her throat.
"Charlie, are you still there?" Tears should be falling. Pain should be felt. Something besides the ice that rushed through her veins.
"Charlie, please say something!" The urgency she heard through the phone struck her from the shock she was feeling.
"Sean?" She could her herself breathing, hear her heart beating above the frenzied voice that she only now recognized was her own.
"Yes! Sean, uh, Mr. Bond. He was killed last night in his home."
"He’s dead." She had to hear it from herself, her own voice, or she would never feel right with the word "dead" describing Sean, a man so full of life, not death.
"Charlie, the commissioner, he ordered you to come down. You have to come to the crime scene." Crime, Sean, death, dead, gone. Words flew through her mind; she had to make them stop.
"Will you be there, at Mr. Bond’s?"
"Sean’s." Not Mr. Bond that was too formal, rigid. It was Sean. Close and personal, there when she needed him.
"I’ll be there for him. It’s my turn to be there. Oh God, Sean, how could he be dead?" She was breaking from her formerly incoherent state, and the raw emotions of losing someone so close were catching up to her quickly.
"Oh Charlie, is there anything I can do for you?"
"Sean. Bring back Sean." Her voice broke, and finally the tears began to flow.

* * *

Charlie looked up at the trees. The leaves were beginning to turn and the wind had a bite to it, a typical fall in New York, cold and wet, but it was nothing Charlie couldn’t handle. She could handle a lot, but she couldn’t handle this. She stood before his gravestone, as her dusty blond hair whipped in the wind that blew through the aging graveyard, and read the grim lines carved into a slab of white marble. Sean Bond. His voice will ring on with the choirs of angels. Pushing her hair back from her face, she let out a frustrated sigh as her mind repeated one question in her mind; why did it have to be him?
"Sean, I don’t know what to do without you." She got on her hands and knees and leaned against the cold stone. It didn’t replace the warmth of her closest friend who she had always leaned into when the waters got rough; still, she continued to speak to the lifeless slab of rock, the only thing comforting in her life right now. "You have to help with this one Sean, I can’t do this on my own, and I have to find this person. I won’t go on until the murderer is put away." It was more true than even she wanted to admit. Her job at the force had been given up when they wouldn’t put her on the case, too personally involved they said, so now she would go it alone.
Yet the idea of alone was terrifying in itself. She’d never been alone before; even after her parents had died, Sean had been there to take care of her, to hold her hand, and soothe her aches. No one could do that now.
"I miss you Sean." She whispered it so quietly that only the wind could hear, and then she curled up at the base of the stone. The tears fell from her flushed cheeks into the soft ground below her. As dampness and cold soaked into Charlie’s jeans and chilled her knees, she began to feel as cold as the gravestone, with only the hot path of tears tracing down her face to warm her.
It was then, when the cold threatened to become too much, that two hands fell gently on Charlie’s shoulders. Her distressed mind, for only a sliver of a moment, wondered if it was Sean, coming to help her cope, just one more time. She rose up on her knees and quickly looked to see who the owner of the hands were, but when her eyes locked onto the deep brown orbs studying her intensely, her past came back like a bolt of lightning. Memories, thousands of them, coursed through her veins all at once, forcing her to recall a time with this man that she would have done anything to forget.
She was all grown up, no longer the shaky unsure body of youth, but the body of a grown woman who knew her place in the world and wore it well. But her face was still the same, vulnerable, not sure where she was going next. The tears mixed with running mascara and dirt only added to the effect. It was the face that had bewitched him so long ago, the face that even now haunted his dreams.
This was not another one of her nightmares where he came stepping back into her life and swept her up into his world of lies, at least it wasn’t one that she could wake from to find he was gone. This was real and she knew there was no waking from it.
"What are you doing here?" she snapped, shaking his hands from her shoulders. No more innocence to Miss Charlene Benington-Tate.
"Paying my respects." He glanced at the gravestone then shot his look back to her eyes. It was a look meant to paralyze, but she had been preparing for this moment for a very long time. She stood up to her full height of 5’5" and despite suddenly feeling very small compared to his tall and prominent body, she threw all her bitter and angry resentment right back at him.
"You didn’t even come to the funeral."
"I would have been here sooner Charlie, but I was stuck in Shri-Lanka for three days. Sean was my co-worker for eight years, I couldn’t just ignore that."
"He was your friend Brian!" He knew she was past listening but he was too upset at her words and ignored the warning in her look.
"I know that better than anyone. Jesus, Charlie, he was practically my savior." A question in her eyes for only a moment, then anger once again.
"How can you say that when you didn’t even talk to him for the last two years?"
"He didn’t want to talk to me either. Can you blame a man for wanting to settle a grudge?"
"You should have settled it before he was killed." She was at the point of breaking, the anger and stress too much to handle right now.
"He wasn’t ready to forgive, I tried."
"You tried to make yourself money. It was all you cared about, and screw anyone who got in your way."
Brian threw his head back and muttered an oath. His patience was quickly waning. He’d come to say goodbye to a friend and hopefully find her, not this anger that had once plagued him and caused problems between he and Sean. But the sight of Charlie stretched to the limit, just as confused and lost as he was, returned his calm. They had to get out of here.
"Charlie, we can’t fight here. We need to go someplace…"
"I’ll tell you where you need to go. To hell." She dodged around him but his arm snaked out and stopped her
"Charlie, I need to talk to you."
"We are finished talking Brian." She pulled her arm out of his grip and began to walk away. He never thought that seeing her retreating form would hurt so much or feel so final. He wanted to chase after her and hold her until she forgave him, hers was the type of face that made a man feel that way, but he knew he couldn’t hold her, any more than he could hold Sean’s hand in a forgiving shake. Sean was gone to him, he couldn’t let Charlie go to.
"Charlie, please, I need you." His voice cut through the icy air and even as it hit her ears she could hear the desperation in it. She could also hear an ancient echo of the same lines said to her six years prior by the same voice, but she kept right on walking.
"I’m getting the same letters Sean got." The way his voice gripped Sean’s name as though it didn’t want to let go finally stopped her. If she was going to avenge the death of her beloved friend, then Brian Sterling was her only hope.

* * * * * * * * *

"It’s the craziest idea I have ever heard! I’d never be your lover in real life let alone undercover! I will protect you, God knows why, but I will not parade around like one of your little bunnies!"
"This is insane Charlie, you have no argument. You will act as my lover."
"No. Bodyguard."
"Think about this logically, Charlie, think about my reputation. Do you really believe that when the press sees me with an attractive 20-something female in public, they’re going to take our word that you are my bodyguard and nothing else? No. End of discussion."
"You’re right, it’s the end of the discussion." Charlie pushed back from the table, upsetting the cups of coffee as well as a few of the patrons sitting nearby in the coffee shop. Brian shot up as quickly as she did and slammed his hands down on the table to quiet her.
"Sit down Charlie." His voice was threatening enough to make her think twice about bolting out the door. He lowered his voice to a vicious whisper. "I’m not kidding Charlie, sit!" She slid back into her chair and waited with eternally blue eyes for him to follow suit. What had he done to warrant this behavior on himself? "What is it with you? What did I do?" She remained silent then looked away from him while crossing her arms across her chest. Brian flattened his hands against the surface of the table and looked to heaven, begging to be struck by lightning, anything besides dealing with an uncompromising woman! He would have thoroughly enjoyed leaning over her in a threatening gesture, but decided the tiny coffee shop was not the best setting to pull that kind of stunt. Besides, Brian was pretty sure the bubbly blonde teen who was serving them that afternoon recognized him, and the last thing he needed was a chatty adolescent reporting to the papers that Brian Sterling was anything less than a gentlemen. A devilish grin played onto his lips. He could be anything but a gentleman when he wanted to be, but now was not the time.
"Oh Brian! Why do you have to be such a skirt chaser?!" Charlie had come out from her shell of silence and was busy flinging her arms about expressing her anger over the situation. "Fine. I see your point." Then she threw a finger out at him. "But you don’t date unemployed cops." She looked at him with a triumphant grin. It was actually quite darling; Brian wasn’t looking forward to wiping it off her face but, alas, it had to be done.
"I don’t exactly date any women, we kind of skip over that part, but that’s beside the point. The point is to find the killer, before the killer finds me." Brian was more on the edge about the letter than he was showing; his normally calmed British accent was bubbling out to the surface and he was raking his fingers through his long black mane, something he always did during tense scenes in the movies, when his character’s life was on the line. His life was on the line now, only this time no one was going to yell "cut" at the end of the scene. This was real.
As her compassion began to surface, Brian batted it down with his next comment. "Therefore, you will drop the "Tate" from your name and claim your place as a socialite in London. Your grandmother will be more than happy to help with that." Charlie’s eyes became as wide as the cup she was just putting down while she choked on her recently consumed coffee.
"Yeah I’ll bet she would just love to get ahold of me. She’s been trying ever since I turned sixteen. Then she practically disowned me when I decided to take the path of my father and become a police officer. Still, I’m sure she’s just waiting with baited breath for this one." Charlie rolled her eyes. There was no way she was going to be prancing about in heels and frothy little party dresses. She wanted to find the killer but there had to be a better way. Her grandmother got a kick out of high society and enjoyed being a skilled player in it, but she was not going to enjoy her final wish of getting her little Charlene into the fold of the filthy rich and famous.
"You know she wants to catch the killer just as much as you do, and God knows London society is the best place to start, not to mention where I pick up most of my ladies anyway. Sean ran with those circles before he married and his family is still involved. You and Sean’s grandmothers are as close as you two were." Charlie felt her heart thaw a bit on the subject. If anyone had a friendship even half as close as her and Sean then it was close. Besides, the senior Mrs. Bond was most likely devastated, so of course her friend would want to help in any way possible. God, why couldn’t Charlie just do this the old fashioned way, find some prints, get the punk and haul him off to jail, but not without a most satisfying interrogation before hand.
"Fine. We’ll talk to her when we get to London." She leaned back in her chair and sighed with defeat. Brian knew it wasn’t easy for her to give up control; he was surprised she was actually going for it in the first place.
"Thank you Charlie. I know it’s going to be a rough gig, but darling, we have to find this guy, he’s a threat and he’s running free, out for more blood." Charlie suddenly shot her gaze back to look deep into his brown eyes that were laced with worry. He was strong but God knew even the strongest would be worried after all the events of the last few weeks.
"How long ago did you start receiving the letters?" Charlie said, leaning forward with compassion in her eyes. He leaned back in his chair and put his hands behind his head then looked at the ceiling as though trying to pull an answer from the wooden beams and white paint.
"Two months ago."
"Do you have any with you?"
"I brought the latest." He dipped his hand into his black leather coat then brought it back out with a letter written on yellow paper. She knew almost immediately by the odd color of the letter that it was from the same person who had sent Sean’s letters. She opened the paper and memories began to flood her mind as she looked at the scratchy writing. She could hear the voice through the words, the phone call the night of his death; she could feel her heart stop all over again as she remembered the odd feelings in her stomach from earlier that day. Her eyes could see shadows of the murder scene in the master bedroom of the Bond family apartment: the blank stare in his once shining blue eyes, the bruises on his neck from the rope that had been attached to the ceiling fan, she even remembered the unnatural way the body had been thrown onto the bed by Sean’s widow, Yolanda, when she had come into the room to find her husband’s body hanging there like something from a horror movie. Even the blood on the sheets from the cuts on the wrists… all these images flew through her mind causing the pain to begin piling up inside of her.
Brian saw it mirrored in her sapphire eyes. They clouded over, and tears found their way to the corners. Charlie’s shoulders hunched up and her body became a hard wall, trying to block out the terror he knew was coursing through her. Her lips suddenly parted and she took quick breaths, trying to fill her body with air, thinking it might clear out the demons. When he heard the faint cry of anguish it was all he needed to slide by her side, kneeling and grabbing her clammy, sweating hands with his own. She couldn’t be fazed however.
"Charlie."
Nothing. His own fear began to constrict in his throat. "Charlie, please." She blinked and fell from the fear she had been living. The eyes of Sean faded into the eyes of Brian, and for a second she let herself melt into the comfort he was offering. Then the pain he had given her six years before assailed her brain, and she tore her hands from his as though he was shocking her. Brian quickly shut his eyes tight, trying to block her look of disdain. He sensed the pain she felt because of him but there was nothing he could do. She was locked to him and until she let him in he would stand on the outside and look in. That fact alone made Brain begin to feel anger towards this woman who had haunted his dreams. She would haunt in the daylight now as well. Pulling the letter from her grip, he slid back into his seat as though nothing out of the ordinary had just happened.
"I didn’t finish read…"
"Later." The word lashed her and she didn’t argue further. The next moments were passed in silence until the teenager who was unusually giggly interrupted.
"Can I help you with anything else?" She was speaking to both of them but her face was turned towards Brian. He had that general effect on women without even being famous.
"I think we’re fine love, just get us the bill."
"O.K." She began to turn then looked shyly towards the floor then boldly locked eyes with Brian.
"Are you Brian Sterling?" He smiled and nodded. Her eyes got wide and she fought back the grin that was ready to assail her face. "Oh wow. My friends aren’t going to believe this." With that she ran off and disappeared into the back. Charlie smiled for probably the first time that day and it wasn’t lost on Brian.
"What are you thinking, Charlie Benington-Tate?"
"I was thinking about Sean and I, when we would go out, and people would recognize him. All those screaming girls, and those wild women. Yet through all the autograph books and the flashes from the cameras, I never got used to the idea that my Seany was famous. One time in this nice restaurant this woman well into her sixties comes up and begins shaking a finger at him. Turns out she thought he was taking another woman out to dinner while his wife sat at home taking care of a new set of twins."
Brian began to chuckle and Charlie continued with a brilliant smile flashing on her face.
"So Sean gives her this grin and then says ‘This beautiful woman here is my closest friend and my wife’s maid of honor at our wedding.’ The woman begins blushing just like a school girl then quickly kisses him on the cheek and mutters, ‘That’s my boy.’ Then left." It was right then that the waitress practically snuck back, put the bill on the table, then practically bolted back into the kitchen. Brian picked up the bill then raised his eyebrows and held it up for Charlie to see. On the bill was a quickly scribbled note; Autographs make great tips. Charlie began to laugh then watched as Brian pulled out a twenty and a five. She knew from the coffee had only cost about $4.00. The stereo-type of cheap male tippers was fading from her mind. He quickly scribbled something back to the girl then rose from the table leaving the money tucked underneath the bill. Charlie gave him a confused glance then followed him out the door. Once outside she couldn’t keep her curiosity to herself any longer.
"What did you write?"
"Something along the lines of ‘Mere words will never do for a maid as fair as you.’"
"Well you sure do know how to charm the young ladies don’t you?"
"I think you already know the answer to that question."
Charlie stopped and made a low growling noise which caused Brian to come to a halt as well. He looked at the expression on her face.
"What?"
"Just when you were becoming human in my eyes, you have to go and muck it all up."
"I’m only telling it like it is love." He began to walk faster and Charlie practically had to run just to catch up with his wide strides. His long legs moved swiftly, with an agile grace even Charlie had to admire.
"Where are we going?" She shouted above the traffic and noise that swanked the New York day.
"My hotel room." He shouted back. "We’re not finished negotiating yet." He rounded a corner and the Plaza Hotel came into view. Charlie stopped for a second. Brian had come up in the world since she had fallen in love with the young and dirt poor boy he had been the last time they had met in a hotel room.

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