Monday, December 1st, 2003 - Psalm 51age

God is so faithful to prayer. This whole semester has been a learning time for me in guarding my heart and keeping it in line with my soul and the Holy Spirit. This has been amazing to experience, but recently, my heart has turned around and regressed away from God. I knew this by how my thoughts and actions had changed, and it resulted from not surrendering my time and my obedience to Him. When I realized this, I prayed some words from Psalm 51:10-12.

The biggest phrases that stuck out are "Create in me a clean heart, O God" and "make me willing to obey you." Those were the main points of my struggle. God didn't answer my prayer right away, but He has now. Through brokenness, He has molded my heart anew. As far as willing to obey, that is definitely an area where I still struggle to surrender to God's will. His timing is impeccable as I need to make a decision about next semester pretty soon. I thought I needed to know by this Friday but have found out that I have until I leave for semester break to make the decision. So, I'm definitely learning patience right now, as well.

On a random note, I found a picture that well explains a part of me. I do not have many skills in performance, like sports or other activities; my gifts are in other areas. But I enjoy so many activities that I am pretty bad at. As an example, I recall going to Boy Scout camp when I was younger and taking an archery merit badge. The main part of it was to hit a bullseye target with a certain number of arrows scoring a certain minimum amount of points. I had a world of difficulty achieving this objective, but boy did I love to shoot that bow. It was the greatest thing in the world for me at the time. I still enjoy archery though I haven't done it for many years.

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