Monday, October 6th, 2003 - Testimony

I'm going to share the basic themes and ideas involved before I chose to live my life for God, and how those changed now that His Holy Spirit dwells in me and directs my life.

The biggest struggle for me used to be depression and suicidal thoughts. I wasn't popular, cool, or good-looking -- looking back, I was quite the dork. I turned anywhere I could for attention and even pity. Although I didn't realize it at the time, God saw me in my distress and had compassion on me. He sent two wonderful people to love me and show that they cared who I was on the inside -- these two people became my best friends, and I love them dearly to this day and beyond.

They helped me to make it through the depression, yet I still was not by any means happy. There was a void to be filled in my heart... in my soul. Sophomore year in high school, I was invited by random people to their youth group, and eventually to this big youth conference thing (called "Districts"). At Districts, I heard about a relationship with Christ and the receiving of the Holy Spirit (God comes and lives inside of us... that rocks my face off). After reflection on these ideas, I realized that this is what I wanted; this is what I was missing.

I told God that night that I wanted Him in my life; that I wanted to live my life for Him. That is when I became a Christian; I received His Spirit and began a new life in Him. God was gracious to clear my depression away, and He showed me to take comfort in knowing Him and that He's right here to console me. After reflecting on the idea that God came down as Jesus Christ to die for me that I may be saved and enjoy a relationship with Him, any thoughts of depression became replaced with overwhelming joy and gratitude.

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