Ouch...and Ouch again. Don't know what I am facing but gotta face it. I have been tested, poked and prodded in the most obnoxious places and finally.. NO MORE !! Well until pre-admission testing. Yes pre-admission testing!!
So I noticed something not right and mention it to my "Primary Care Provider"! In a way I am sorry I did.. it was off to the races for me. See Doctor Cleaver, pick up the referral first, then Dr. Cleaver sends me for tests! Pick up a referral for a test, Don't drink those "Milk Shakes" if you go in for an upper GI and CAT scan.. let me tell you they are obnoxious! If they shove a 3 rd one at you ..tell the technician "If I drink that, I will give you back the other 2 I just forced down!" She'll tell you" Well Dr wants to make sure everything is coated well for the scan!" You tell her" Lady.. when I am tinkling barium trust me it's coated!" Never mind them telling you your appointment is at 10 am cause you'll get there sign in fill out papers and drink then wait 30 min then drink again and wait another 30 min and then wait and drink again.. oh pahlease!
Then your in that dang CATscan for 15 or 20 min. depends how long the technicians take to gossip about this and that!! Then they say don't leave we want to make sure the pictures came out ok.. hmmmmm
Then I do as I am told "pick up a prep kit in Radiology' in 10 days a lower GI! then to Primary Care for another referral.
Well that is the most horrid day to go through.. liquids only... and only liquids you can see through.. nothing RED! Now tell me who can exists on clear broth, jello, tea, coffee ( no sugar please) soda water enough already Then ya starts taking the "stuff" 30 min after you eat.. pills, an hour later some fizzy lemony yukky tasting stuff.. then the best part is from lunch on every hour on the hour an 8oz glass of water. Now how can a body hold that much liquid..
( needless to say you are making love to the china god all day!!
Then the time comes.. lower GI..I shan't explain to you what that is cause ya probably know.. but being on the table for 2 hrs seeing your innards on live TV.. can be fun.. or can it...then you make love to the china god again. When you finally get home you get yourself a nice cup of coffee sit down and scream!! Now the best (?) part of it all, while I am on the table being poked and prodded in the newest hospital gown the fire alarm goes of.. ok me thinks got me shoes on, but my clothing is down the hall in the dressing room! My friend was in the waiting room with my handbag. When I was able to walk out of the hospital, I saw fire engines! I could just see me walking out in a hospital gown with my shoes and handbag sans my clothes.
Who wants to eat???!
Return to Dr Cleaver..(after picking up another referral) to find out the test results! Heck I picked up my reports at the Hospital along with the xrays and pulled over at Seseme place and read them.. but I'll keep doc happy anyway!
Doc sees I have not had enough torture.. he gives me one more "surprise" test in his office. ehads!
Now I have to see Dr Hatchett... So come home sit gently down with a nice cold drink and call. Off to the Dr. I ago again.(after picking up another referral) no surprise test? Nope.. Hospital for you miss and surgery.. OH dang nabit all...!
No tests.. ha ha ha.. there is pre-admission testing.. then the surgery.. I'll be in for a week since Drs Hatchett and Cleaver are both operating at the same time.. a few days in ICU then I get a real room and I can stay in for 1 week.. no food...just IV's.. ok.. we'll do it.. don't know what I hate the most the surgery or the weeks confinement.!
Well I won't be on the computer for at least a week ...I will be going through withdrawl.. I will also be a few lbs lighter!!
(oh forgot to tell ya I have to pick up 3 referrals) Thank You HMO !
Stay tuned for chapter 2.. my advice to you today is.... Don't get sick cause it's the Doctors Golden years not ours!
Well I am off now to the drug store to pick up anti-biotics and you guessed it a prep kit! That's for the day before surgery and no eating again!