The New Millennium! The Millennium brings lots of changes to Rocky's Life. By now Rocky is drinking way to heavy. He is trying to hide how he is really feeling about Mike and not sure what he should do about it. He starts visiting his friends Mark and Scotty alot without Mike. They always go out to the bar when he comes in. Rocky really starts liking going out without Mike. But he still keeps it to himself. Even though he has hinted around about it to Mark he never comes out and says it. Then they all take vacation together to the Smokie Mtns. While they are there things with Mike and Rocky are really tense. Rocky is drinking just about the whole time they are there. He is wanting to escape and hide his feelings so he drinks and drinks. One night they are all sitting in the hot tub having a good time talking and laughing. Then all of a sudden Mike gets up and goes in and watches TV. What!!! They are on vacation and have a hot tub and he goes in by himself and watchs tv. Well at that very moment Rocky knows it is over. Now he just has to find a way to end it. The following weekend Rocky can not keep it to himself anymore. He tells Mike they need to talk. Rocky tells Mike how he is feeling and Mike tells him he is feeling the sameway. So they agree to dissolve thier 11 year realtionship. They make an agreement that Rocky can stay there till he figures out where he is going to move to. Rocky wanted to move out of town. Rocky starts making plans to move up to Lexington so he can be near his friends Mark and Scotty. In the meantime Rocky starts going out  by himself. He is having a great time. Mike seems to be doing really good with it all too. Then on June 18th Rocky and some friends go to Louisville to the Pride Picnic. Rocky was loving it. His first Pride!!!! He had always wanted to go but Mike was afaird people would see him on TV if the news was there. When Rocky and his friends go out to the bars that night, one of his friends calls her cousin and he goes out with them. At first Rocky and Roger are kinda standoffish. Neither really acknowledging the other.  Then while walking to another bar they start to talk. Once they are inside to see the Drag Show, it just so happen works out they end up sitting beside each other. Well the sparks flew! They talked till the sun came up the next morning. Roger had ask Rocky if he could come back up the next evening and spend a few days with him so they could get to know each other. Rocky said that would be great. Rocky returns to Mikes. Rocky tells Mike he is going up to Louisville to get away for a few days and stay with his friends cousin. Mike knew of him just as Rocky had but had never met him. Rocky did not want to mention that they were prob going to start dating nor did he feel the need to tell  Mike that they were prob going to sleep together. Afterall Mike had agreed to break up also. They had made an agreement that if they met someone they would not bring them into the house.  So Rocky figured all is well. Well it wasn't. Mike went off!!!!! Calling Rocky a cheater, whore all kinds of stuff! The whole time Mike had kept the truth to himself and lied about how he felt about the breakup. Thinking that Rocky was just going through a spell and they would be together forever. Well when Rocky returned he was not allowed to go to Mike's house. He found a place to stay till he could figure out what he was going to do. During those few weeks Rocky and Roger started getting serious. So Rocky decides to move to Lousiville to be near him. Rocky got an Asst Mangers job with Pizza Hut found an apt.  and all was going great!!! Roger and Rocky did not want to live together at first. Rocky felt he needed some space being he had just came out of 11 years. But they had agreed at first that if in 6 months they were still together they would get a place together. Well 6 months rolled around and Roger said he needed some more time. Rocky said ok. But he told Roger that they had to be living together by the one year mark. Roger agreed. Then in March Rocky was rushed to the hospital. He was having a heartattack. His cardic enzymes were up and he was ready to have one. They were going to put him in the hospital for a few days. Rocky had been trying to get hold of Roger. He was scared to death being there all alone. His family knew about it but Rocky told them not to drive up till the next day. He figured Roger would be there soon. Well he still had not showed up so Rocky called Rogers Mom. She just so happen to be talking to him on the phone. She said he was in bed. Rocky told her to tell him to call right then. He finally called. He said he was so tried that he went home to get some sleep. Well this did not sit well with Rocky at all. Here he was scared to death and he goes home to sleep. Rocky ask him if he could not come to the hospital to at least go over to his apt and get his dogs and keep them for him till he got out of the hospital. After ho humming about it Roger got up and went got the dogs but left Rocky laying in the E.R. scared. Roger finally showed up at the hospital the next evening. At this point Rocky saw Rogers true feelings. He still had not started to make any move towards them living together and it was only 2 months before it was a year. He left him laying there in the hospital all night and most of the day. So Rocky knew he was yet again going to have to end this. A few days after getting out of the hospital Rocky told Roger it was over. Roger did not want to accept it so Rocky told him a bunch of lies to hurt him so he would realize it was over!! In actuallity it was killing Rocky to do this but he had to. Well with the heart scare and the break up Rocky went off over the deep end. He really started drinking then. He started going out to the bars at every chance. He was picking men up left and right. Even going to the park and picking them up. ! "Terry in Nashville!" Rocky was doing it all over again. He was on a road of desturction and he knew it. He started getting really depressed and lonely. One night out of total loneliness he picks up the phone and calls Mike! He spills it all out to Mike. They talk a couple of more times. Rocky feels as if the world is ending. All the drinking was taking it toll on him. Work was not going good due to drinking and going to work in  a bad mood. Rocky gets into it with one of the drivers at work and the driver walks out. Rocky at this point was ready to jump! He goes to his car and calls Mike. Mike tells him he can come home if he wants. So Rocky does!!!! Knowing full well deep down inside that this is a huge mistake. Rocky quits his job and moves back in with Mike!! Rocky puts on a great show of face. But he is really nervous about this. All seems good at first. Rocky is like well maybe I did the right thing after all. But remember Rocky is drinking heavily and when he goes back to Mike's he does not ease up at all. He is trying to dull his pain! After a couple of weeks Rocky starts to realize it was a mistake. Things with Mike were just as they were before. Nothing had changed except Rocky. And not for the better either. Mike and Rocky start back fighting alot. All because Rocky is drinking and taking Mike's valiums. He is so unhappy that he is taking the pills and drinking way to much. He knows what he is doing is wrong. Wrong for Mike and Wrong for him. One night while aguring Rocky starts saying he just wants to die and make all the heartache and pain go away. He just wants to be left alone. Mike tells him if he leaves again he will kill him. Rocky takes it as a real threat. From that moment on Rocky knows he has to leave. He is afarid of Mike now. He had already been abused by Terry and even though Mike had only hit him once, Rocky was afaird it would start. So one night, plans all made, Rocky leaves in the middle of the night while Mike is at work. He is to scared to tell Mike he wants out so he does it this way. He runs to his friends Mark and Scotty. He knows they will keep him safe. Mike finally figures out where Rocky is and calls. He says he only meant that as a joke but to Rocky it was a real theart! Mike agrees after talking to Mark and Scotty that it had been a mistake letting Rocky come back. So he backs off. Rocky spends the next month trying to get a job in Lexington with Pizza Hut again. During the wait Rocky really starts drinking. He does not want Mark and Scotty to see just how much he is drinking so he gets up in the middle of the night and goes for refills while they are in bed. His cycle of descrution has not stopped. He is still on it. Rocky gets the job with Pizza Hut and gets his apt in Lexington. Rocky feels good about things at first but then the lonely feelings start up again. The first week in his apt he did not drink much at all but then BAM!!! He starts up again. He starts going out to the bars again just as before. He had moved here telling himself this time no man was going to get in his view. He was going to work on his carrer for a change. He can have a great future with the company he is with now if he wants it. But does he really want it. He wants it but does not want to be alone too. He goes out one night and this really cute younger man sits down and starts talking to him They talk and talk. Rocky gives him a ride home and the guy gives him a huge kiss. They make plans for a date the next night. Rocky is so thirlled!! He goes on the date and the guy comes home with him. It was great!! Rocky tells him if he wants he can come over the next night when he gets off work and he does. Rocky really likes him (he thinks or is he just lonely).  He ask him if he does not mind would he help with the dogs. Rocky was working very long hours and the dogs were being locked in the kitchen 12 adn 14 hours a day. He agrees and Rocky makes him a key. He starts staying everynight! Rocky really  likes this. He really looks forward to coming home now. He starts to trust the guy a lot. He lets him borrow his car one night to go to choir practice and he picks Rocky up at work. Rocky feels like he might have found someone.  Then a few nights later he has another practice and Rocky lets him borrow his car. It is Rocky's first day off in over a week and the guy tells him he will not be long so they can spend some time together. Well he does not come back till the next morning. He tells Rocky he is very sorry that he got high and passed out on the couch. Rocky had called Mark and he came over to support him early that morning. Rocky was ready to kick him out. No one was going to do this to him again. But once Rocky was face to face with him he just could not do it. Rocky did not want to be alone. So even though Mark had told him if he kept seeing him that he and Scotty would never speak to him again, Rocky agreed to keep seeing the guy but he was not going to stay here anymore unless Rocky was off work. This really upset Mark and Scotty. Rocky was not thinking right! He was hiding the fact that he was really drinking heavy. Over the next few nights Rocky really kicked it in high gear. Maybe it was fear, loneliness, hurt, heartache who knows. The last time Rocky saw the guy was a week ago now. He called Rocky at work on Saturday asking about a shirt of his but nothing since. He was suppose to be here on Sunday night but nothing. Not a phone call, nothing. Rocky has done it again. Ruined his friendship with his best friends. Now he is really alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But as you know life does change. This time for the better. With the fact that his best friends had turned away from him Rocky seeks professional help this time. He starts seeing a thearpist and attending AA meetings. Talking to someone outside his life is really helping him a lot. The AA though was not for him. To religion based and to organized. He just did not feel he belonged there at all. Their stories of drinking were a lot more severe. Rocky had just lost control over the last couple of years and needed to get it back and he would be fine. So He makes a pledge to himself that he will never drink at home again. When he goes out he only limits himself to 3 drinks and that is it. He can do this he knows he can. He use to be able to control his drinking and he just has to be strong again and do this. Stepping back and looking at himself Rocky realizes he has been trying to be someone he is not for the last couple of years. He had become very selfish and not caring about others around him. He was also not acting like Rocky the true him! The true Rocky loves to entertain and be on stage. So Rocky steps out of the darkness and into the light again and lets Danielle DuVaine out and back on the stage. She Kills them!!! The best she has ever done. So Rocky decides to be true to himself and for once in his life to go for it. He has always wanted to do something with his performing and this time  he is going to. Rocky also loses his job during all this. The details are not improtant. In acutaullity it is a blessing. The job was wayyyy to stressful. So he is going to get just a regular job and attend Bartending School and presue his dream for once in his life!!