Prepare to enter His Kingdom; what wonders await you!

Excerpted readings from the

Llamantations Virtum

(New Standard Edition; compiled, ed., and trans. from the fifth-century Allamaic by a monk named Tavo and a monkey named Zeek, both of the Order Lama Glama Immaculata)

"O Glamourous Llama, Thou art so knowing, so wise, so experienced and yet so pure. As I am a raisin, You are a fully ripened grape. Seedless. Nay, greater still! You, O Most Venerial, er, Venerable Llama, are a really big fruit."

--Book of Bob 42:90210

"And so He said to Our Llama, 'Go into the unwashed, icky people, and lead your followers into the Kingdom of Camelidae, be they grifters, con men, drunkards, prostitutes, heroin pushers, arms dealers, or street performers--except for mimes. Really, what would the other guys think?'"

--How to Win Friends and Convert Infidels 8675309:3.1415927

"Blessed are the fleecemakers."

--Dromedarians 0x0000:0x00ff

'Ha, Llama! I am Allah!'

'Amalgam, Al! Atone! Be man! Shall Allah's name be Not A. Lama-Glama?!'

--Palindromians 119:911

Wouldn't you like to be a Llama too? Order a LoV-ly tribal identifier for yourself or another should-be Llama. Llamas of Virtue, unite to show the rest of the world it really doesn't deserve someone like you.

The chic will inherit the Earth! Spread the good news and be the envy of your herd with this stylish wearable from the Llama of Virtue Fashion Company. No llamas were sheared in the making of this shirt.

Do you ever have pesky questions about life that just won't go away, no matter how hard you scrub? Don't worry, we all have at one time or another. Now your prayers have been answered with this fine coffee mug. It will give you life's answers and let you know you're right. Just remember those four little words: What would Llama do?

All proceeds from this site sponsor the Llamas for a Woolier World Foundation (LWWF).

No material on this site may be used without the expressed consent of the High Priest:

Last updated August 3, The Year of Our Llama 2001

Return to the Alien Kiosk