vail

Second Verse, Same as the First!
Well, not exactly. We changed some of the cast, trading a few players for new talent. The script needed tweaking; we tried to clean it up for at least a PG rating but that didn't work. The locale was changed to Vail since the natives of Steamboat had banned our production company from filming there again. But, the end result was the same:

TOO MUCH FUN FOR A SINGLE TAKE!!

WARNING!!! This page has lots of pictures - be patient while they load!! If some of the pictures don't appear, just hit the refresh button on your browser!!

Sweet Dreams are made of Goldschalger shots

Enter LISA....., well maybe it's more like exit! Here we are at the end of a long vacation - Wait a minute! We haven't even got there yet; we're still on the bus TO Vail. Wake up!! Hmm maybe a bottle of Goldschlager will get her moving....

Everything's so GREEN!!!!!

Here's CHARLIE. You may remember him trying to score a whole mountain of snow last year. Well, that was a hoax. It turned out to be, well, snow! He wasn't harmed by any Columbians or anything else. He's just sitting here looking around at the beautiful vistas of Vail. Everything is SO GREEEEEN!!!!!!

Ah skip it, I'll figure this sport out - I'm a gifted athlete after all!

Introducing WAYNE, aka Chicken Boy. Okay, the snowboard instructor said keep my weight balanced between both legs, but put more pressure on the downhill foot. That's my left foot unless I am facing the wrong direction; then it's my right foot and now I am goofy foot. Now to turn I need to switch my weight to my toes if it's right or my heels if it's left and that's right if I am regular and wrong if I am goofy.  What the %*@&?!?

Oakley Junkies - Thanks Mark!!

Look at us all decked out in our Thermonuclear Protection - Team Oakley. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank our sponsors....Wait a minute! - I think maybe we're sponsoring them!!  Well we would be if this is how much we actually paid.

Hey you two! Get outta the way!

We asked the natives of Vail to assemble a reasonable set for our production this year. This is the best view they could come up with; pretty disgusting huh? Oh well I guess it will have to do.

MMMMM, Tasty AND Refreshing for both Body and Spirit

Rule #1. Never, ever drink the hot tub water!! We told Wayne that they use PowerAde in the jacuzzi to help restore those vital electrolytes - before we could stop him he served himself and Teresa. Sorry guys.... No, I am positive the rash is NOT contagious!!

Hey!! Who the F@#$% pushed me in??

Here's Wayne after his first lesson. This is actually a staged shot because he is vertical. Be this as it may, Greg and I decided that he was ready for the back bowls.

"Yeah Wayne, just go right down there and stay out of asscrack #1 and #2." 

"What was that?"

"Nothing" heh heh heh

It's all mine - yeah that's right - MINE!!

Believing that he was the first to step foot in this "vail," Greg declared everything in sight his by authority of the Skeeter Neck Clan. He took a threatening posture and prepared to defend his claim.........

Before the battle was even pitched, Greg was defeated. It seems that he neglected to remove his snowboard before pillaging the region.  Everyone knows that snowboarders can only cause terror when it's steep and deep. Well, Greg, while you're down there could you make me a snowangel? Pretty Please?

Chinese, Japanese, Dirty Knees, Look at these!
Turtle-backed, the bane of snowboarders everywhere.......

Confucious say "Man who walk through airplane hatch sideway is going to Bangkok."

The next series highlights our Apres Ski activities at undisclosed locations throughout Vail. All shots are directly from the script and I would like to take this chance to thank my cast and crew for their attention to detail and acting thoroughly professional during all filming engagements. Absolutely no horseplay or Tom Foolery was ever witnessed. NONE I TELL YOU!!!!

NOTE: All pictures in this section can be clicked for full size - you don't won't to miss any of the action

Everyone looks so innocent - Well we keep a pretty good secret!
GOOD IDEA!!!!!!

Hey, I got a great idea! I'm gonna buy everyone in the bar a shot on my new company Visa (it's everywhere I want to be). I mean what could go wrong? I won't get drunk, Charlie won't get drunk, Greg won't get drunk, Jamie won't get drunk, Teresa and Lisa? Please, there's no way they'll get drunk!  It's perfectly reasonable for me to assume that nothing will happen after I lay down this little piece of plastic.........

One down, twenty to go, they be fast and we be slow - errr something like that
Hey, THANKS Wayne!!!!
Excuse me sir? Sir? Can I ask you something??

Hey Wayne, thanks for the shots!!!!

Hey thanks for the shots,  Wayne!!!!

Hey guy, thanks for feeding your girlfriends all those shots!!!!!

Not over my dead body am I finishing all those shots!
Nuh unnngh - I didn't drink any of those!!
Frank's not going to like this.........

Oh Christ, what did I do?? I swear it was just market research!

NO WAY - I didn't do any shots!!!

ME NEITHER!!

It's Saturday Night Fever
Oooooh He's asking for it

I know someone who's gonna get an ass-whoopin' but I'm not telling........

I SWEAR!!!

Well, That's all of the footage that I could release for public consumption. Several local churches, the FCC, the SPCA, and the International Pastry Chef Union Local 128 asked that I refrain from publishing anything, but I had to satisfy the appetites of those fortunate enough to decide AGAINST traveling with us this year.  Oh well, Stay Tuned for Next Year's Edition - you'll know when we're back.........