Last year I participated in "spectator racing" at a local clay oval. It was kind of the opposite of the SCCA (and even Midwest Council) racing I've been doing in practically every facet, so I posted a tongue-in-check event report to the wheel-to-wheel email list, which generated many chuckles. I went again this year and found the track photographer had some shots of the '97 event, so I HTML'ized the event report and present it for your reading pleasure.
This last Friday I visited what must be the "Bizarro World" of SCCA. A friend had asked last Wednesday if I wanted to go to Sycamore Speedway (1/4 mile clay oval about 50 miles west of Chicago); I asked "what is running on Friday", and he replied "_We_ are! 'Spectator racing', I've got a '73 Fury and a '68 Electra 225 ready to go".
Instead of a GCR + classification specifications, the SCCA Bizarro world's rules fit on a single sheet of 8.5x11" paper. Not much there, no safety equipment save for seatbelts and a helmet, all glass/lights must be removed (smashed!), cars must have stock suspension settings/ stock tires. Fuel cells were allowed, but not mandatory.
The Bizarro World paddock had 2 sections; one right next to the track, behind a fenced off area, and one in an unfenced area right next to the other. The only difference was that in the fenced off one, you couldn't have beer. Guess where everyone paddocked?
The Bizarro World pit pass was $20. That included a car entry fee if you wished. Anyone with a pit pass could run in the races. The Bizarro registrar didn't even ask for a driver's license, let alone a competition license.
We found someone with paint and brushed the numbers they gave us on the side of the cars. Jim (my friend) had already prepped the cars: smashed the windows/lights, cut the swaybar on the buick, (don't know why, the rules just said all GM cars had to have this done), the front and rear fender panels had been clearanced so they wouldn't cut a tire down upon collision. The Fury's torsion bars had been tweaked to raise the ride height a bit. It actually ran pretty good for a 2 barrel carb.
A Bizarro World tech inspector wandered by. All he did was shine a flashlight up under the car to see if the front suspension had been modified. I asked him what he was looking for, and he was simply looking for cars with cheater suspensions. I pointed out a local car that had obviously been around a few times (it was a wreck) that had at least 5 degrees of negative camber on the passenger front tire, and he said "well, that car has been hit". Guess you have to get hit in the right place. He asked if we were from Sante Fe Speedway, a Chicago subarb clay track where similar events are held. Guess he got sent over to check if the Chicago guys were trying to run cheater cars at their event.
Bizarro world's qualifying consisted of all the cars, in an unorganized fashion, lining up in several different lines. The Bizarro grid chief would point at one of the lines and send the cars out, three at a time. One lap, then out the side exit.
Qualifying seemed to be only used for the "trophy dash" race, the first one. All other races, anyone could enter. No qualifying orders were used, cars simply lined up in several different lines and the lucky ones were picked by the grid chief to go first.
The second and third races of the evening were 25 lap "feature" races. Jim and I entered the first one, and we got lucky, our line was the first to go out. I ended up about 8th out of 25 cars, Jim ended up just behind me.
I got a good start, got a few cars at the first turn, started
picking off some of the others. Lots of cars smashing into
each other, tried to avoid most. A big Lincoln passed me
by coming into the turn too hot and using me as a guardrail.
I simply tried to go fast and avoid incidents.
Another car passed
me in a similar fashion, the next corner I popped him in the
drivers rear, he did a 270 degree spin which enabled me to
T-bone his passenger door in.
We spend the next couple of races trying to get the wreckers to tow
the buick off of the track and into the paddock (didn't know the
motor was terminal at that point). Finally get it back, then
the Fury won't start. Change the battery, still no juice at all.
Find that a battery cable quick disconnect had come loose; jammed
it back in place and taped it closed.
A friend of Jim's (who in retrospect shouldn't be allowed to drive
a street car, let alone on a track) took the Fury out in the
last of the heat races. He didn't make it 3/4 of a lap before he
clipped one of the tires on the infield, and
plowed full bore into
the Bizarro flagstand, which was also on the infield. Since it
was in the infield, it was pretty substantial (concrete/steel), and with
no tire wall in front of it, the Fury lost that argument.
I've been paying $150+++ roadrace entry fees since '92, thousands of
dollars in car prep, hundreds of hours in car prep time, and never seen
a f(*&%^&* penny come back. This was truely the most Bizarro thing
about the place. People were actually paying $10 a head to watch
us "race".
--Ken
This page has been visited
The front end was pretty screwed up. It took us 10 minutes just
to get the car back and get the hood open. It still ran, but
wouldn't move, as the transmission cooler lines had snapped off
and all the fluid was gone. The radiator was shot too. Jim
decided to Demolition Derby the car over my objections (it
seemed pretty fast, and as it turned out, I took second place
in the first 25 lap race). We crimped the AT cooling lines
shut, dumped in 4 quarts of fluid, and sent him out to the
track where, without coolant, he just barely made it into the
last event (the Demo Derby).
I didn't get to see what happened, I had to lock the tools away,
and get the video camera. Went to the gate and found that they
don't allow video cameras due to lawsuits and rough driving
disputes. By the time I got back, the demo was over,
the Fury was totally smashed;
both doors (even drivers!) caved in by 1.5 feet,
Right front tire buckled over (broken upper balljoint), and there
was a 5 foot trophy next to it.
Somehow he had won the thing.
The Bizarro world track owner paid Jim $35 for the wreck. After
a few beers, we went to get my trophy, where the Bizarro world
trophy lady gave me $25 cash for my second place, and $100 to Jim
for his demo win.
times since Tue Oct 6 23:18:56 CDT 1998
and was last modified on
Tue Oct 6 23:19:00 CDT 1998