KIDS SAY... THE DARNDEST THINGS:)
The general direction of the Alps is
straight up.
The spinal column is a long bunch of
bones. The head sits on the top and
you sit on the bottom.
One by-product of raising cattle is calves.
To prevent head colds, use an agonizer
to spray into the nose until it drips into
the throat.
The four seasons are salt, pepper,
mustard and vinegar.
The climate is hottest next to the Creator.
The word trousers is an uncommon noun
because it is singular at the top and
plural at the bottom.
The blood circulates through the body
by flowing down one leg and up the other.
In spring, the salmon swim upstream to
spoon
Iron was discovered because someone smelt it
A little girl gazes at her
great-grandmother and then all of a sudden
gets a puzzled look,"grandma, "your skin
doesn't fit ?"
A little boy points to a little girl's
forehead and says, "That you forehead."
"No,that my one head," she quickly replies.
Hailey asks her mom when dinner will be
ready."Oh, I remember," Hailey says, "it's
when the smoke alarm goes off!"
While her daughters were playing wedding,
a mother overheard the question: "Do you
take this man to be your awful-headed
husband?"
Tara, 3, asked her mother Gwen what she
was going to be for Halloween. "I don't
think I'm going to dress up for Halloween
this year,"Owen said. "What!" Tara
exclaimed, "you're going to go naked!"
*Tara is the daughter of Mike
and Gwen Stockert of Kendallville
On the school playground Scott Kreigh,
6, was swinging really high he could. He
called out,"Don't these swings come with
airbags?!"
* Scott is the son of Fred and
Cathie Kreigh of Kendallville.
When Karen Langaard of Westby, Wis., was
younger she babysat for two children,
ages 4 and 2. The 4-year-old fell asleep
while watching television one afternoon
around naptime. Karen tried to pick her
up and move her to the bedroom, but she
didn't want to go."But honey, you fell
asleep watching T.V.,"Karen said. "I was
just resting my eyes!" the little girl
replied
Former Noble County residents Tom
and Nancy Franke live in Seymour, Ind.,
with their three children. One Sunday
while she was in the nursery, Rachel,
2, told the nursery supervisor the ages
of everyone in her family. "Matthew is
one," Rachel said. "Rachel is two. Ben
is four. Mom is 29, and Dad is just old!"
Paul Cureton, 6, of Albion told his
mother Brenda that he wanted to be a
bowlinginstructor for Halloween. "A
bowlinginstructor?" Brenda asked in
amazement."You know, Mom," Paul said.
"That big snake!" (Boa constrictor)
Diane Martin of Middlebury was using
the bathroom when Adrianna, 3, knocked
on the door.Diane asked her what she
needed"I want to come in Adrianna said."
You can't come in,Diane said."Mama wants
to be alone and have her privacy.
"Can't I come in with you, so I can have
my privacy, too?" Adrianna asked.
One afternoon after a rain Kenneth's
wife,Rose, called the children to wash
for supper.Dickie, 3, held out his hands
and said,"But Mommy, my hands are clean.
I just washed them in a big mud puddle!"
Scottie asked Kenneth how the ocean
was dug.Kenneth tried to explain about
God and creation. "Well," Scottie asked,
"where did God stand when He was making
the earth?"
Kathy Vandergrift of Albion is a
licensed day care provider. One day
Kyle, the son of Tim and Vicki Wagner,
noticed that Kathy's dog, April,was sick,
and he asked her what she was going
to do about it. Frying to stick to
language Kyle would understand, Vicki
didn't use the word veterinarian.
Instead,she said she was going to take
April to the "dog doctor." Kyle's
blue eyes opened wide, and he said,
"I didn't know dogs could become doctors! "
When Jordan was 3 Melissa's mother asked
her how potty training was coming along.
Melissa replied that Jordan was doing
very well and hadn't had an accident
all week. "Yeah,Gramma," Jordan piped up.
"l'm a potty train!"
Melissa was teaching Jordan his body
parts like eyebrows, ankles,knuckles,
etc. He grabbed his side and said,
"These are my ribbons!"
Kathy and Alex were driving by the
cemetery when Alex said, "I know who
my mom's mother is... It's you. Kathy
asked him if he knew her mother.
He said he didn't. "Her name is Esther
Hogan," Kathy said. "She died, and she
is buried in the cemetery.Would you
like to see where she is buried?"
They drove in and found the plot.
Kathy said, "This is where my mother
is buried,and this is where my father is
buried, beside her, and his name is Mike.
Alex looked at Kathy with a serious
expression and asked, "Do you suppose
they're home?"
Alex, 4, daughter of Dean and Melanie
Timmerman of rural LaOtto, had a bad
case of the chicken pox. One a really
miserable day she said to her mother:
"Mom, I didn't ask for these chicken
pox...Do we even know any chickens?!"
When Carolyn was a little girl she
dearly loved strawberries. She saw them
ripening in the backyard, and one day
she started to pick them."Carolyn,
you can't eat those yet," her mother,
Phyllis Dunfee, said. "They're not sweet
enough." Carolyn left the strawberry patch.
Later on Phyllis found Carolyn in the garden
with a spoon, sprinkling sugar on the
strawberry plants
Even for adults, love and
marriage are complicated and sometimes
seemingly incomprehensible topics.
When children start talking about them -
watch out!
A father of three had just finished
explaining the facts of life to his
9-year-old son. The boy looked at his
father in amazementand said,
"You and Mom did that THREE times?"
Preschoolers Nicolas and Lacey decided that
when they grow up they were going to get
married. One day while the class was
talking about farms, Nicolas said, "When I
get big I'm going to live on a farm
and get up early to milk the cows!"
Lacey, who was sitting next to him,
piped up, "Well, don't wake me up!"
Sue's husband came in while she was
preparing lunch. He turned her away
from the stove and they started waltzing
around the room. Little Jake giggled,
and little Matt looked terribly worried.
After the dance was over, Matt
said, "I don't think that's legal."
A pregnant teacher noticed two of her
kindergarten students arguing in the corner.
"What's the problem?" she asked. "We're
arguing about whether it's going to be a
girl baby or a boy baby," one of the
little girls said. "And we decided it's
going to be a girl because girls have girl
babies, and boys have boy babies!"
Amanda, 4: Daddy got you pregnant, didn't
he?Wanda: Yes! Amanda: How did he do it?
Wanda:You'll learn about that when you get
older.Amanda: Was it magic? Wanda: It was
kinda like magic.Amanda: So he just said,
"I want Mommy to be pregnant" and you got
pregnant. Wanda(laughing): Something like
that.Amanda(worried): Uh-oh, Mommy.
You might have two babies, because
I said the same thing!
Near the end of her pregnancy, Wendy had a
long phone conversation with her mother,
who lived several states away. Afterward
she told Jacob,"Grandma asked me if I'm as
big as a barn. Do you think I am?" Jacob
studied his mother."No," he said.
"A shed, maybe."
Vi and Phil were talking when they
mentioned the phrase "knowing the
facts of life." Chuck,7, immediately
jumped in. "I know the facts of life!"
he said. "You do?" Vi and Phil asked in
surprise.Chuck replied with a long list
of the facts of his life: "You brush your
teeth. You go to school. You eat healthy
food..."
Abby, 3, told her grandma that she had
been thinking about who she would marry.
"Well, marry someone rich," her grandma
said. Abby thought for a minute and then
said,"I know, Grandma! I'm going to marry
the Tooth Fairy!"
Carrie, 3, asked how God puts our bodies
together. Before her mother could respond,
Carrie said, "He doesn't have glue up in
heaven!"
The Rasp family was playing a word game.
Rebecca, 7, was asked to
provide a word that begins with "H" that
describes a very handsome man. Rebecca
brightened, "H...O...T!"
A preschooler was crying over the loss
of her plastic ring. "Don't worry,"
her preschool friend comforted her.
"You'll get another one when you get married!"
Even for adults, love and marriage are complicated and sometimes seemingly incomprehensible topics. When children start talking about them - watch out!
A father of three had just finished explaining the facts of life to his 9-year-old son. The boy looked at his father in amazementand said, "You and Mom did that THREE times?" Preschoolers Nicolas and Lacey decided that when they grow up they were going to get married. One day while the class was talking about farms, Nicolas said, "When I get big I'm going to live on a farm and get up early to milk the cows!" Lacey, who was sitting next to him, piped up, "Well, don't wake me up!" Sue's husband came in while she was preparing lunch. He turned her away from the stove and they started waltzing around the room. Little Jake giggled, and little Matt looked terribly worried. After the dance was over, Matt said, "I don't think that's legal." A pregnant teacher noticed two of her kindergarten students arguing in the corner. "What's the problem?" she asked. "We're arguing about whether it's going to be a girl baby or a boy baby," one of the little girls said. "And we decided it's going to be a girl because girls have girl babies, and boys have boy babies!" Amanda, 4: Daddy got you pregnant, didn't he?Wanda: Yes! Amanda: How did he do it? Wanda:You'll learn about that when you get older.Amanda: Was it magic? Wanda: It was kinda like magic.Amanda: So he just said, "I want Mommy to be pregnant" and you got pregnant. Wanda(laughing): Something like that.Amanda(worried): Uh-oh, Mommy. You might have two babies, because I said the same thing! Near the end of her pregnancy, Wendy had a long phone conversation with her mother, who lived several states away. Afterward she told Jacob,"Grandma asked me if I'm as big as a barn. Do you think I am?" Jacob studied his mother."No," he said. "A shed, maybe." Vi and Phil were talking when they mentioned the phrase "knowing the facts of life." Chuck,7, immediately jumped in. "I know the facts of life!" he said. "You do?" Vi and Phil asked in surprise.Chuck replied with a long list of the facts of his life: "You brush your teeth. You go to school. You eat healthy food..." Abby, 3, told her grandma that she had been thinking about who she would marry. "Well, marry someone rich," her grandma said. Abby thought for a minute and then said,"I know, Grandma! I'm going to marry the Tooth Fairy!" Carrie, 3, asked how God puts our bodies together. Before her mother could respond, Carrie said, "He doesn't have glue up in heaven!" The Rasp family was playing a word game. Rebecca, 7, was asked to provide a word that begins with "H" that describes a very handsome man. Rebecca brightened, "H...O...T!" A preschooler was crying over the loss of her plastic ring. "Don't worry," her preschool friend comforted her. "You'll get another one when you get married!"