Not that Trish was bad or anything. She just would never be Jeff’s type. He was into something totally different than Trish Stratus. He was into guys. Not just any guy, either. The love of his life happened to be his older brother, Matt. Yes, it was wrong for them to have that type of relationship—especially when both were WWE superstars—but neither cared. Love was all that mattered to them. If people wanted to talk, let them. Unfortunately, they were on separate shows now. Matt belonged to Smackdown and Jeff belonged to Raw. Now that he was a single, Jeff needed fresh storylines. And what better storyline than the male heartthrob having a romance with the blonde bombshell of the WWE?
It wasn’t like Trish was thrilled about the storyline either. Jeff wasn’t exactly her type. She’d just started a relationship with Torrie Wilson (another Smackdown worker) and she didn’t like having to be on camera kissing Jeff. She knew Torrie was watching and that she hated seeing her kissing a guy, even if it was only Jeff Hardy.
“Jeff, glad I caught you,” Jim Ross said as Jeff walked into the arena—late as usual.
Jeff sighed.
“What’s up, J.R.?”
“There’s going to be some more action between you and Trish tonight. She’s going to run down during your match with Richards and kick Victoria then you’ll hit the Swanton and win. After that, a few smiles and hugging.” J.R. stopped to look at a clipboard in his hand. “Got that?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Good. I’ll see you later.”
J.R. walked off, leaving Jeff to once again ponder his misfortune.
Later that night:
“Baby, you just need to calm down,” Matt was trying to sooth his brother after his match. He held his cell phone away from his ear as Jeff continued to scream in his ear. This was starting to get ridiculous. Not only was Vince trying to dig up a storyline from 2001(remember during the Invasion when Trish and Lita were fighting Stacy and Torrie over Matt and Jeff?), but Jeff was getting ready to totally quit the business because of a few stupid writers who insisted on putting his obviously gay brother with a chick. Matt could understand his anger—hell, it pissed him off as well—but he knew that yelling and screaming and throwing a tantrum (usual Jeff style) would lead to nothing.
“Jeffy, sweetie, just calm down,” he tried again, “Stop yelling and talk to me.”
“Matt, I can’t take this anymore!” Jeff said, voice now lower but still above normal, “This has got to be the stupidest thing! I hate storylines like this. You know that. I thought I was rid of those damn things after the one with me being in Shawn Michael’s corner all the time.” He sighed. “I just want to go out there and wrestle. Why do I even need a storyline?”
“Don’t ask me,” Matt laughed, “I got my own problems with having Shannon as my little tag-along bitch.” He paused as someone entered his locker room.
Shannon Moore raised his eyebrows and gestured for him to hurry up.
“We got five minutes,” he informed Matt, “Stop talking to lover-boy and let’s go.”
“In a minute, Shan,” Matt said.
Shannon sighed and walked back out. Matt rolled his eyes and spoke back into his cell.
“Baby, I gotta go. I’ve got a match in five minutes. I’ll call you tomorrow while we’re driving or something. I love you.”
“I love you too, Matt.”
“And, Jeffy?”
“Yeah?”
“Just try to stay calm and not do anything you’d regret later.”
“I’ll try,” Jeff sighed, “Maybe I’ll go throw a few things around the locker room.”
“Get Trish to join you. I know she hates it as much as you do.”
“I guess.” Jeff paused. “Bye, Matt. I love you.”
“Love you, too,” Matt said and hung up.
He pulled on his V1 shirt and walked out of the locker room. As he was turning the corner, he was almost knocked down by someone—a blonde someone who looked about ready to kill someone.
“Sorry about that, Matt.”
“It’s okay, Torrie,” Matt smiled as he adjusted his shirt, “You look pissed. You okay?”
Torrie shrugged.
“Yeah, I am pissed,” she replied, “I was just watching Raw on one of the t.v.’s back here and they’re still doing that stupid angle with Trish and your brother.”
“I know. I just got off the phone with Jeff. He told me all about it. He hates it too.”
“I’m sure he does,” Torrie agreed, nodding her head and looking Matt up and down, “He loves being with you.”
Matt blushed.
“Yeah, I love being with him.”
“I hate seeing Trish with somebody else—even if it is a gay guy and only a storyline. It’s really starting to affect our relationship.” She shook her head. “The other night we didn’t even do anything because we got into an argument about it. I swear, I need sex and I need it soon. I haven’t tasted Trish for I don’t know how long—“
Matt held up a hand, silencing her.
“Look, I’d love to stay and chat, but I got a match—“
“Oh, duh!” Torrie said, smacking her forehead, “I totally forgot. Sorry. I gotta go call Trish anyway.”
She started to walk back to her dressing room, but turned around before going too far. “Hey, Hardy! Maybe we can talk about this later?”
Matt rolled his eyes. He really didn’t feel like talking to anyone about his and Jeff’s personal life. But, if talking made Torrie feel better—
“Sure,” he heard himself say and winced, “I’ll swing by your locker room after my match.”
“Great,” Torrie chirped, already feeling better.
“Yeah, great,” Matt muttered, heading to the ring.
Back at Raw:
Jeff threw a roll of toilet paper at the locker room wall and grinned in satisfaction as it thudded and fell. For some reason, throwing toilet paper rolls had made him feel better. He wasn’t sure why, but it did. Maybe, it was because they were so soft and squishy and they made a cool thudding noise when they hit the wall.
He was still upset, though. He just couldn’t understand why he had to be paired with Trish. It was so uncomfortable for him to go out there and hug and kiss her week after week. He knew Trish wasn’t comfortable with it either. They liked each other—they were friends—but they didn’t make a good on-screen couple. It came across on camera, too. It was a shocker to Jeff that no one else had noticed how wrong he and Trish looked together. All of the guys in the back had said that they looked cute together and that they looked natural. Jeff knew better. He just hoped the WWE creative team figured it out before it was too late and they ended up making fools of themselves yet again.
The door opened and Jeff turned around. Trish Stratus walked into the locker room, gym bag in one hand and cell phone in the other. She smiled weakly at him.
“Hey. I can’t believe you’re still here,” she said.
“Yeah, well,” Jeff shrugged, “I decided to throw some things around the locker room for a while—thought it might make me feel better or something.” He gestured to the pile of toilet paper littering the floor.
Trish laughed.
“Did it?”
“A little.”
Trish shook her head, still laughing.
“You’re a weird one, Hardy.” She stopped laughing and looked seriously at him. “Do you think we’ll have to keep doing this?”
“Hopefully, not for too much longer. No offense, Trish, but I just can’t keep going out there and pretending I’m attracted to you.”
“I know what you mean. I hate it, too. It’s tearing me and Torrie apart.” She threw her gym bag to the floor and kicked it. “She hung up on me tonight! I swear, I don’t know what I’d do if I lost her, Jeff!”
“Hey,” Jeff sighed, patting her arm, “I know how you feel. Me and Matt are getting pretty bad, too. He keeps telling me to calm down, but it just pisses me off so much! Everytime we talk, he just tells me not to worry and he doesn’t want to talk about it. I love talking to him, but he won’t do it anymore! Then, I get mad and start yelling some more.” He ran a hand through his dark, newly-dyed hair. “We don’t even have sex anymore. It fucking sucks, you know?”
Trish nodded her head.
“I know what you mean,” she said softly, “But, we don’t have much choice in the matter, do we?”
Jeff sighed.
“No, we don’t,” he agreed, “If we’re lucky, the writers will come to their senses in a week or two and we’ll be out of one stupid, idiotic, dumb, senseless storyline.” He rolled his eyes. “Until then…”
“Until then, we have to pretend to be totally infatuated with each other,” Trish finished. She picked up her bag and opened the door. “See you next week, Hardy.”
“Unfortunately,” Jeff called after her and flung another toilet paper roll at the wall.
