Homey-"Life is chert the rest is just details."

Something to look at while this page loads...ooooooohhh chinchillas!

Why Jonathan likes Dr. Panhurst... "cause you don't dress like a whore!"

Suzanne and the meaning of life.. "You guys I've got something to say, it's not too important, I really don't like my underwear today."

Various Teacher Quotes[mostly Dr.P "Atoms are electrically noodle...Whoah I'm the one who is noodle today. Classification of this silly table....-laughing-class can get kinda wild today!"

Dr. P slips up....-"And in f*!k uh excuse me...in fact...I couldn't get that out." Laughter from the sleepy crowd.

Jonathan-"Are you really wearing red underwear?" Dr.P-"Do you wanna find out?" "The whole process is actually bloody simple", on X-ray crystalograpy "It goes zooooooooom"-paper during the above bloody simple process "I know how to show a student a good time."

"Show me the MONEY Dr. Panhorst!!!"-Jon

"Fred, if you were a rock you'd be a piece of oolitc limestone."-Jon that's only funny if you saw Fred and know what oolitic limestone is, sorry, but at least it sounds strange.

TV-"it's like having a little piece of mind in a jar..." me-[to myslef quietly]"I had a piece of mind in a jar once. A little one. My mom said "Julie what is that? It's gross" so I threw it out. No, wait, that was just somebodies tonsils...nevermind."

"This is a corker!"-Dr.Patterson on a bloody difficult calc. problem. "Oh! Julie move your head north and south instead of east and west" "The graph is climbing up to infinity with wee wee steps slow as a hymn but then this one goes WHOOF!" "Get familiar with the problem, shake his hand!"While drwaing a graph..."O' for the artistic gift!" "Love is something better felt then telt.

My thoughts on the above-"Love is something better felt then smelt."

Student Quotes: "Fred you got a ring around your head."-me "Just call me Saturn."-Fred "Alrighty then Saturn."-me

"Garnet.....quartz....."-Mike "Mica."-Fred "What?"-Mike

"Dazzle with science! Baffle with bullshit!"-Dr.P

"I'll never look at babies the same way!"-Jonathan "You'll be wiping babies butts before you know it"-Dr.P "They're gonna let him breed?"-Me

"[Lee Harvey]Oswald doesn't do much dancing. [John Wilks] Booth does more dancing then Oswald does!"-some theatre major girl in my history class "I'm going to be laughing about that all day."-Jason from Paducah,KY

"Is it orange day or something, cause Dr. Panhorst and McCullough have on orange."-Jonathan "Ya, and they ALWAYS dress alike....?"-Me "I like to drink orange drink."-Jonathan "And that's significent....?"-Dr.P "In honor of Jonathan I am proclaiming today Orange Day!"-Dr.P

"A short pencil is better then a long memory."-Dr. P defending himself

"The alarm goes DOOT DOOT DOOT"-Billie

"I don't think cloning started with sheep in Scotland. I think cloning has been going on in the Ol' Miss Greek system for quite a while now...."- Julie

"Ya gotta drink to be a geologist! [to Rebecca.]" "But Julie doesn't drink either.."-Rebecca "But she has red hair..." "What difference does that make?!"-Rebecca

"Geologists...we're down to earth. Heh heh."-Fred [i felt the need to add the heh heh to establish the mood...]

"Uh huh huh Geologists rock..and stuff."

"We're Italians, we don't want to be liberated!"-Prof. L

"How small do llamas come?"-Me "Oh Llamas come pretty small. I know llamas, llamas are a mans best friend."-Rebecca

"The Universe began by the coming of the Great Crimson Monkey!"-Jason "Ewwwwwww.."-me "He spread his seed all over the sky." "ewwwwwwww"

Rebecca Vegetable Girl!-"I've been drooling again. I don't make any noise I just drool."

JULIE AND ZANNE GOLF "I put my ball in the roughage."-Zanne "Zanne that's the" rough". If you eat the rough then it is called roughage."-Me "We need go carts..."-Z "You mean golf carts?"-Me "Yeah we need those."-Z "Should we yell par I mean fore...?-Z

"My silly boyfriend couldn't sleep and went to Wallmart again."-Me "Why doesn't he read or count sheep or something?-Rebecca "Because he gets these cravings for Pop Tarts and Honey Buns and stuff..."-Me "Maybe he's pregnent"-R "I hope not. People'll think that it's mine"-Me "-laugh-That'd be awkward."-R

Wellcome to Tablehenge I'll be your guide...People believe tablehenge was used for picnics....would you like to continue the tour or would you like to kiss for awhile....when I go to museaums I always stand in the front row for that reason."-Jason

"Fred! You need some lovin' or some humpin'!"-Zanne "Hell, I need some somethin'!"-Fred

"Take me to your Wombat."-me "Would a Wombat by any other name smell as sweet....or something?"-me

"How's your lemon sorbet dad?"-me "Ever heard the expression don't eat the yellow snow?"-Dad

"Im a good guy, I listen to good music..I eat Spam."-Chase

On dating as compared to grocery stores...."I'm wandering down the same aisles and not seeing anything I like!"-Zanne "I went to the meat department, I said show me what ya got, and walked out with 145 pound o' lovin!!"-Me On someone confused-"He's outside the grocery store!"-Z "He's like a cart boy"-J "I just want to say go into the store and shop...preferably in the girl aisle!"-Z

"Old women walking....God Bless America!!!"-Stan

"Whether you're a monkey, or whether you're just funky you're stayin' alive...stayin' alive."-Jason

"That's rubbish! Is it rubbish? Maybe it's not rubbish...Oh I guess it's not rubbish."-Dr. Patterson

"Do you have a question Jon?Oh you just wanted to monkey with it...you ok there?"-Dr.P concerned about Jon's monkeying

"You like you lovin' buffet style. I like mine ala carte...or is it ala mode? Or both? I like one boy only with ice cream!"-me

"I don't like being naked ever."-me "I'm ok with my nakedness just as long as I don't have to see myself naked."-Rebecca "Naked in the dark?"-Me "That's the only way to go!"-Rebecca

My History Class on Food "(hotdogs)They're such a wonderful American invention! Who knows what's in them!:)"-Prof. Laurenzo "You should eat tofu hotdogs....everyone should be vegetarian."-hippie theatre girl strikes again. "We eat squirrels in KY!"-me [people are shocked Jason from Paducah stops laughing to agree] "It's mostly just fun shooting squirrels"-Prof. L "The old man says "ACHOO!" and the old woman says "BLESS YOU!" ha ha ha ha ha That's awesome! Ha ha ha"-Jay -later-Hippie girl sneezes. Girl next to her-"Bless you." Jay-starts laughing again

"Who would throw a monkey in a pot of boiling water?"-Chase

"Your boy needs sugar sweet sticky, drippy, icky, chocolate puddin' kinda lovin'" -Rebecca

"Man, he f-ing raped your ass!"-a friendly frat boy who was sympathetic of the grilling I got in a chem. study session.

"These scholarships taste funny...."-Homey

Dr.P lecturing Jon as he eats in Min. Lab-"Didn't you see the sign that says not to eat in labs? It's not allowed -aside-laughing-

you can keep eating your lunch-So you shouldn't eat in rooms and disrespect the rules...."

"No one is proposing that we stop using Phosphates...."-Dr.P "I propose that we stop using phosphates!"-Jonathan "No one who matters is proposing that we stop using phosphates..."Dr.P

"It's a complicated group of minerals..."-Dr.P "And no one understands it but a mineralogist..."-Rebecca "Borates!! Can you dig it?"-Me

"SHE-RA!"-Jonathan

"The front of your hand and the back of your hand are different. The back of your hand has knuckles, the top of your hand does not."-Dr. Erickson clearing things up in Chemistry.

"Memphis is the international leader in Barbecue."-Rebecca "St. Louis is the international leader in Barbecue."-Jason [fight ensues] "Canada is the international leader in Barbecue. Mmmmmm moose!"-Me "Take me to St.Louis...Louis...."-Jason "some Memphis song"-Rebecca "Oh Canada Oh Canada....your Barbecues so tasty...."-me "Barbecue is pig not cow!"-R "Barbecue is way of cooking not a type of animal."-J "Look at the herd of Barbecue! Mommy can I pet the Barbecue? The Barbecue says "oink oink" the Barbecue says "moo moo."-me

"What time is it?-Rebecca "It's 9:20"-Zanne "No...it's not."-R "oh sorry I was looking at the foot."-Z

"I am a Ninja...no...really!!!"-Jason

Before the mineralogy final"Sit your realgar down!"-Jessie chemical formula for realgar is AsS

"I got my mind on my monkey and my monkey on my mind."-Jason

"Hot on the left, cold on the right, and the water runs down hill. That's all you need to know to be a civil engineer."-Dr.Easson

"Hot on the left, cold on the right and the shit runs down hill."-Dr. P

"How many captains does it take to run an oil tanker? One and a fifth!"-Dr.Easson

"I'm unstoppable!"-What a yelled when I got my mineralogy grade.

I'M BACK TO SCHOOL SO IT IS NEW QUOTE TIME!!!!!

"The first rule is driving is that no one wants to die."-Stan

"Don't look at me with that tone of voice!!!"-Dr.P

"A fool and his monkey are soon parted."-Me

"It's Christmas time in Holly Springs...." Run DMC by Stan

"I can eat corn on the cob, it used to be I could just poke at it."-Dr. Wood on the benefits of braces.

" It's not mowing, there's no grass on mars"- Dr. Wood on well, I don't know.

"This coffee is strong."-Me "Just the way I like it, like I like my men, strong and hot and soothing to the soul...."-Rebecca

"Hey babe, I noticed you noticing my hardrive"-Rebecca's friend, Bailey

"Patty cake, paty cake, smash your head!"-Fred

"They've got a regular size drink, large drink, and bladder buster."-Dr. Wood

"In case you are wondering this thing [overhead] has gotten hot and I'm burning my hand but I'm paid so much I'm going to do it anyway."-Dr. Wood

What do you think of that PROFESSOR?!I'll see you on Jepordy!"-Jason

"The rumors about me aren't true. I wasn't dancing around the fire in my underwear. I was in fact completly naked."-Dr. P

"My voice is like this because of a cold, not because I'm going through a second puberty."-Dr.P

"The most common Bushveld complex is in South Africa."-Dr.P "I heard they were made by aliens."-Matt

"Where does all the granite go?"-Dr. P "Aliens!"-Frank

"Dr. Panhurst can I run to the snack machine real quick?"-Jonathan "Joanthan whatever you want to do is fine as long as you don't start getting pushy."-Dr. P

Heard in Petrology class -"Weapons everywhere!"

"Cluck cluck said the little red hen. Hurah! Said the goat, turn the page."-Dr. Wood

"I'm as independent as a hog on ice."-Dr. Wood

"There are probably more misconceptions about social security except for anything else except sex."-Dr. Wood

"All Americans like Cracker Barrel. If you don't like Cracker Barrel you are probably a communist."-Me

"Texas is pretty hot."-Jason "It's a lot like Hell except Hell never cools off and you can smell other people's flesh burning all the time."-Jason's grandma

"Stand up and stretch or slap your neigbor around...whatever it takes."-Dr. Raspet

"So I said to my friend Galileo....And the accleration is 9.8 BECAUSE WE LIVE ON THE EARTH!!!"-Jeff

FOURTH SEMESTER QUOTES

"I had curtosis once but the doctor cured it."-Me "Julie had peakedness of her curves!"-Fred

"Youv'e got a lot of good animals out there that poop on a daily basis."-Dr. Reynolds

"Quick and dirty, that's how you like 'em right?"-Dr.P

"All those failing to learn a three point problem, I have authorization to flog you!"-Dr.P

"If you read Merciless Beauty and think it is about a bunch of charging elephants then you are wrong!"-Prof. Glass

"Anybody a memeber of the aristocracy in here?"-Prof. G

"When you think poet you think of guy wearing all black all the time who listens to the Cure, the EARLY Cure."-Prof. G

"This friend of mine went to France and his girlfriend left him and he didn't eat for four days, and he didn't notice, he slept 3 hours a night and didn't realize it. Finally, we told him sleep, eat something man. He didn't know he wasn't. That's what love does to ya."-Prof. G

"I'm like a fish in gelatin sauce, babe."Prof. G

"Ya I'm sure all these people saying how the South will rise again and where are the getting their food from? The Union!"-Me

"I suppose at nightime hanky panky went on."-Dr. Reynolds

"That's a gorgeous poem, that's a hot poem, that poem is sexy!"Prof. Glass

"What is pease porridge?And at what exact point did the mouse run down the clock. Therein lies the answer."Prof Glass

"My father was Mexican."-Suzanne

"I feel like I am teaching the kiddie classes again."-my Hapkido teacher

"A volcano is a volcano is a volcano. It might sit dorment for thousands of years and then decide to fart."-Dr. Reynolds

"I hope when you get married the whole world is bound up in a joyful noise, I hope wherever I am at that time I start singing for no reason.Go talk to some old people about marriage, and talk to them soon because...well...they're old"-P.Glass

"Where is Miss Hoover? Why can't I leave Siberia and talk to her?"-P. Glass

"And now we will be talking about the pudding effect..."Dr.P "Da puddin' effect, ah yeah! So sticky to the touch, so non-recoverable once deformed." -Rebecca "Sticky sweet deformation, no recovery baby."-Me

"My daughter likes creep and apparent dips. She always says I know some apparent dips."-Dr.P

"You should major in geophysics?"-Jeff "What do they do?"-Me "Hey that rock isn't moving again today."-J "Oh look it falls at 9.8 m/s!"-Me "We always get to go home early."-J "What a great job."-Me

"I don't think he's psychic, I just think he can read minds really well."-Chrissy

"Did I ever tell you my theory that Dr. Bhatt was once a James Bond villain?"-Jeff

"You're in a darkened elevator with 15 women and you have 5 minutes to find your wife. I don't know, that could be kinda fun."-Dr.Reynolds

"Brown skirt, blue nail polish....why?"-Francois

"Mo Money, Mohr Stress, mohr failure!"-Fred

"You're walking around trying to map and drink beer at the same time...."Dr.P

"It's a methaphor...an evil metaphor perhaps?"-Prof. G

"Just call me Homey G-Wilikers!"-Fred

"You've never heard of a rooster egg?"-Dr. Reynolds

"They had great big pink Thumpers on trucks. As an artist I make a good plumber."-Dr. Reynolds

"I almost walked out of my apartment in my red boots and underwear the other day. Wow, that was a close one."-Matt

"These greek numbers or letters or whatever the hell they are."-Dr. Reynolds

" I think the meaning of life is what one thinks the meaning of life is, it's a personal thing."-Dr. P

"You'll wind up with a map that looks like a dogs breakfast that came back up."-Dr. P

"I like sailors. I think you know what I mean."-Jason

"The true measure of an optimist is whether they think someone is half naked or half clothed."-Julie

"Light bends toward the normal...."-Dr. Bhatt "I guess that explains why it's always going away from me."-Jeff

"You're so phat you make my heart go pitter pat." "You're so dope you make me forget the rules set forth by the Pope."-Jason

"My grandfather used to have explosives but they took his permit away."-Matt

"Hey babeee I got some salt for you..."- Matt "Why would she need salt?"-Francois "She's gonna catch some birds."-Matt

"Julie is so pale. You fall on the floor and it's like, where'd she go. Quick find her hair. You should be tinted blue like contact or something so we can find you."-Homey

"Wasting away again in Magaritaville...looking for my lost chigger saw..."-Jason on Jimmy Buffett

"I'm going to put barbecue sauce on this tuna."-Jason

It's a good thing that wheelchair ramps have slope but not dip."-Julie

"Do you think that squirrels can tell other squirrels apart from one another?"-Rebecca

"Geomythical, mathematical gyrations!"-Dr.P

"The goal of science is to confuse the issue."-Dr.P

"This where you want to ride the waves, man. The big curls are right in there!"-Dr.Reynolds [who is about 60 years old]

"You'll fail class and get run out of school and laughed at by your friends.... [the whole class is laughing]Well, I out of three ain't bad."-Dr. P

"What happens if you can't defend upur dissertation?"-Frank "You get flogged."-Dr. P "Isn't that what always happens?"-Frank

"Does anyone know Cabier?"-Dr.P "His dad own the construction company?"- Frank "No that's Beers."-Dr.P "He in that diamond company?"-Frank "No that's De Beers..."-Dr.P

"Do you have one of those things that drive metal spikes through paper and fold over to secure it?"-Chris T. "You mean a stapler?"-Micheal "That'll do."-Chris

Before watching a movie in physics lab...."Who stars in this?"-Chris T. "A young baby named Erin and they do cruel things to her. And then they do cruel things to an alligator."-Michael "Oh so it's a family film?" -Chris T.

"I'm an evil monkey."-Maggio

"Who is this?"-Chrissy "It's Nirvana."-Maggio "ooh I like it, is this before he died?"-Chrissy

"There is nuthin' like some pumpkin nut bread after the apocalypse"-Jason

"Where are you from, you don't talk like us?"-Chrissy's Grandma "Oh I'm from a lot of places but not the South."- Jason "Where'd you go to school?"-Grandma "In Missouri." "Oh that's why you're so smart."

"She was a pretty old mother."-Jason

"Paah!"-Me later..."Oh, I guess I should stop saying what I'm thinking about." "You're thinking PAH all the time?"-Jason

"And then this big shadow came up behind me and said, "Are you messing with my Turkeys?!?"-Dr. Reynolds

"I wish that I had Jason's girl, where can I find a woman like that?"-Annie and Chrissy modify Jessie's Girl to fit me

"Ya, the Incredible Hulk kicked my ass."-Jason

"Ya'll ever watch The Flying Nun? No, it was before your time? I used to watch it all the time and make crude remarks."-Dr.P

"My tumor hurts....."-Rebecca

Whelp! That was fun...but I want to read more stupid things that Julie wrote!!!

I'm sick of all this monkeying around, take me to a REAL homepage!

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