December 8, 2000

It was Twenty years ago today

I was 7 years old and in 2nd grade the day that my dad woke me up to tell me that John Lennon had been shot and killed. I had recently become interested in the Beatles through my friend’s big sister who had a huge collection of Beatles stuff. At this point the Beatles had been broken up for over 10 years, but in my mind they were still the happy go lucky boys of HELP!. That was the first rock record I ever owned, replacing the Lone Ranger and the Justice League of America as most played album in my collection. I was drawn to their music right away just like most of the world seems to be and John was my obvious favorite. He was intelligent and irreverent, everything I wanted to be.

Hearing that Lennon was dead was a real blow to my innocence. Lennon himself sung in his song. "Remember", "remember when you were young and the heroes were never hung and always got away". I lived in a world where I believed that the heroes always got away and it was inexplicable that my hero was so mindlessly shot and killed at such a young age.

After his death I delved much deeper into the Beatles catalog than I probably ever would have otherwise. My allowance and birthday money was saved and spent on acquiring all their records. Over the next few years I got lost in the world’s of Sgt. Pepper and Abbey Road while most of my classmates were listening to Michael Jackson or the other hits of the day. It wasn’t that cool to have the Beatles as your favorite band in the 4th grade. Everybody else knew that Men Without Hats was where it was really at.

I really began to get into John’s less accessible solo work in High School. Plastic Ono Band with all it’s pent up frustration and aggression seemed to compliment my own situation perfectly. It was the most personal thing I had ever heard. Lennon’s solo work was also revolution music. I loved blasting the live version of "Yer Blues" or "Cold Turkey" through my headphones in the school library.

Over the years since then I still pull out those records once awhile, but with nowhere near the frequency I used to. They still occupy the foundation of my love for music and they pointed me in the direction of all sorts of other interesting and adventurous music.

This morning on the 20th anniversary of Lennon’s death the hurt I felt that day back in 2nd grade seems fresh again. As I walked to work today I listened to Plastic Ono Band for the first time in quite awhile. I was struck by the beauty of Lennon’s singing all over again. Even on his archetypal primal scream song, "Mother" he sounds so sincere and beautiful. I know he was fucked up and imperfect, but when he opened his mouth to sing all that seemed to fall by the way side. The guy did seem to believe that "All You Need is Love", but he was no sucker. He was a realist too. "I Found Out" and "God" chronicle his disillusionment with various institutions including his parents, religion, and even the Beatles, but he eventually seemed to find solace in music and his love for his wife.

John Lennon’s death was certainly a tragedy, but his legacy lives on in his work so go listen to some of his music today. I am happy that people continue to find meaning and hope in his songs, but this morning as I walked through the blowing snow fighting back tears, I felt just like I was in second grade again.