Meet Michigan's Team Smoot!
NEW OFFICIAL SMOOT WEBPAGE
THIS IS SMOOT
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
TEAM SMOOT: WHY NOT US?
Team Smoot headquarters Ypsilanti, MI
The Team Smoot captain who goes only by the name, Kurt A>. is sitting in his lushly furnished office deep within Smoot HQ.
"When I was growing up, I used to often play Rock/Paper/Scissors to settle disputes on the playground. That is how I initialy got interested in the sport"
Kurt A>. wasn't always a highly successful and in demand Rock/Paper/Scissors magnate, in fact he used to scoop ice cream for a living.
"I had to quit because I was concerned about long term nerve damage to my RPS fingers caused by exposure to the frozen dairy products that might affect my timing and quickness."
"Basically, if you are going to play Rock/Paper/Scissors on a professional level, you have to devote your life to it. The gambit has to come first. Not your family or your friends, but the sport and the relentless pursuit of perfection. I have had several long term relationships crumble over this very issue. RPS is a lonely life."
That being said, Kurt A> has high hopes for Team Smoot this year.
"I have put to together one of the greatest conglomerations of Rock/Papers/Scissors talent that has ever been assembled. A lot of people have tried out for this team and a lot of people have been rejected. They left wimpering. This is the cream of the crop my friend."
Kurt A> has good reason for such cockiness.
"First of all there is Ramy Shammas. We call him the Predator. He looks a bit harmless at first, but he always strikes at just the right time. He also has that certain look in his eye. That little look that makes you think he is not quite all there. He could be just a little crazy."
"Then there is Jeremy Baldwin. He is a little rough around the edges too. It is true that he was first discovered in some of the undergroud dynamite leagues which are such a problem in Iceland and Denmark. He has reformed though and limits his moves to only the traditional rock, paper and scissors now. You never know what he will throw because he doesn't know what he will throw!"
"Who am I forgetting? Oh Berggren...Once Ace of Base lost its popularity, Chris Berggren devoted his life to Rock/Papers/Scissors. He has studied every manual, every theory, every off wall philosophy about RPS. We call him the bookworm. He is a fountain of information and one the most educated RPS players of his generation. We are also very lucky to have his wife on board. She only goes by the name The Greek and I don't know if she is really the niece of Aristotle Onassis, but I wouldn't be surprised. She'll charm you at the cocktail bar and then whoop you in competition. Not to be underestimated."
We also have a few tricks up our sleeve", Kurt A> continues, "We have some people who aren't under contract yet, but our lawyers are working hard to secure them. I don't want to mention any names, but I will say that there is a Chicago connection. They could be the pieces that complete the puzzle that is Team Smoot."
"I feel like we have a date with destiny in Toronto on the 25th and I am hoping that destiny puts out on the first date. It is an impossible dream that just might come true. The only obstacle we have as a team is successfully clearing immigration in Windsor. This is a group of people who have some skeletons in their closets and some of those skeletons have broken bones if you know what I mean."
1. Kurt A> AKA: Team Leader, The Handler
The man who started it all. He knows that you must always lead with integrity and honesty.
2. Wooly Bully AKA: Ben
The Chicago connection part one!
The Chicago connection part 2!
4. West Coast AKA: The Bookworm
Creator of the much feared West Coast offense
5. The Teacher AKA: The Greek
A Force of RPS nature
6. Last Minute
A late season acquisition that helped in the push towards the championship
7. Uncle Yeti AKA: Crossroads
8. The Doctor
Not to be underestimated
9. Money Shot AKA: The Predator, The Wanker
Our secret weapon. He plays for freedom
10. Steam AKA: Maui
Raised in a dugout canoe somewhere near the Marshall islands
World RPS website
The Duke of Gloucester-Our Toronto Training Grounds
Sidetrack Bar & Grill-Our Ypsi Training Grounds