Dean: An Epic Collapse

Not since the days of Chumbawumba has an individual or group fallen so far, so fast, in the way that Howard Dean has in the last couple of months. His fall from the position of leading democratic candidate to a man that is in a dogfight with Al Sharpton and Dennis Kucinich to stay out of the democratic cellar is truly remarkable.           What is the reason for this great fall you ask? The answer is simple:

Americans aren't THAT stupid.

Sometime between Brittany's marriage and her annulment, Americans (especially democrats) realized how much of a clown Howard Dean is. Dean has the appearance of a man who would prefer that instead of elections, a no holds bar steal cage match decided the winner of the presidency. His message isn't all that bad, but the way he is terrible. Giving the impression that your pissed off every second of the day is not a great way to get elected.

I couldn't imagine Dean dealing with leaders of foreign nations. Since he's been the Governor of Vermont (the whitest state in the US of A), he's probably had very little contact with African-Americans, Hispanics, Asians, Martians, and so on. Here's how a meeting with Mexican President Vicente Fox Quesada might go if Dean was President:

This collapse is not the end of Howard Dean. He’s still got Vermont in his back pocket, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Dean tried to take over another country. Some instable country in South America wouldn’t be a bad fit. He could really inspire people with his “vote for me or rot in Hell” attitude. Sometimes the best way to inspire a 3rd world nation is to scare the living shit out of them. Dean wouldn’t have any trouble with that.            I offer my best regards to Howard Dean. I just hope he remembers that just because he only got an average of 6% of the vote in Virginia and Tennessee this past Tuesday, it doesn’t mean that he should hide under a rock and cry. It only means that he should probably hide under a rock and cry.