MY INITIATIONS OFFERING: "write a terrace dictionary which includes club nicknames, major events which are unique to terrace, and terrace "characters.""



Terrace F. Dictionary (please also see
A BRIEF DISCLAIMER)

Cigarettes: n. “I’m sorry, I only have two left and that’s not enough to even get me home.” See also: You’re going to owe me big time, Computer Room.

Jesus: p.n. 1. Sometime “Prince of Peace” who may or may not appear seven times, in various forms, around the club.

Drugs: n. 1. $25.  2. Of course I don’t have any, I haven’t done drugs since the eighth grade. 3. Well, okay, if you’re offering.

Terrace F. Club: p.n. 1. Oh, I don’t go there, it’s scary, and they’ll make me get naked and do drugs. 2.  Closest eating club to the CJL—coincidence? 3. The best eating club…EVER. Obviously. See also: Terrace Fucking Club, Terrace Flaming Club, Terrace “Friend to the Friendless” Club, Terrace “Feel Good” Club, Terrace [on] Fire Club, Crack House Do Not Enter By Order of the Princeton Borough Police. 
Paddle: v. 1. To hit with intention of punishment with a long, flat object (abandoned oar of unknown origins, perhaps?). 2. Borderline kinky, yet strangely fascinating ritual. 3. Oh yeah, right there, baby, HARDER.

Suck the Duck: slang. 1. Ritual involving sucking the duck. 2. Seriously. 3. Just do it, okay?

Library: n. 1. Room used in most eating clubs for displaying books and antique memorabilia. 2. Room used in Terrace to fend off the harpies and enjoy your joint in peace.

Drag Ball: n. 1. Annual event, occurring just when you thought you’d finally got everyone’s gender/sexuality all figured out. 2. If you’re a guy, but you dress like a girl…wait, that doesn’t make me gay, does it? 

Initiations: n. 1. Origin unknown; annual event held at Terrace Club. 2. According to local legend, it involves small children, ritual sacrifices, nudity, peanut butter, “special tea,” sunless tanner (the injectable variety), tube socks, various rodents, your high school science teacher, plaid skirts, Jim Henson, three of the original members of the rock band Journey, and enough Jews to write a whole new Bible. Unfortunately, the only reliable source of information remains a seventeen-year-old Princeton High student who climbed up the tree looking for beer.

Heterosexual: n.,1. Sexual orientation in which men and women prefer sex with one another. 2. At Terrace, all love, even between a man and a woman, is respected and held as morally viable. 3. No judgment.  

Mannequin: n., 1. Lifelike, plastic female object. 2. Terrace taproom fixture, dressed in appropriate taproom attire and always ready for action. 3. At 5:30 am, if you’re lonely and no one is looking, she’s always your safest bet.   

Computer Room: n. 1. In other eating clubs, room for use by the members to check email, assignments, etc, on provided computers. 2. In Terrace Club, room to check just how great you look while receiving blow jobs by provided computers.

Orgy: n.1. Sexual encounter of four or more people.  2. Tuesday night, 8:30, sign-up sheet is right by the door. 3. Friends always welcome.  4. Why does the name “Adam Nemett” keep coming up in connection with this one? 5. No judgment!

Food: n. 1. Love.

Third-Floor Wrestling: n. 1. Most popular Terrace intramural sport.  2. If by “intramural sport” you mean “something called third-floor wrestling, and we ALL know what goes on up on the “third floor.””  3. Sometimes includes the exciting possibility of a “squizzle from my nizzle,” and all of you who are Andrew Porter know exactly what that entails. I know I don’t.

You Know, That Girl Who Was Walking Around Saturday Night Without Any Clothes On: n. 1. I’m sorry, you’re going to have to be more specific.

Tap Duty: n. 1. Responsibility of members to provide as many underage students with alcohol as possible. 2. Nah, I know him, it’s cool.  He’s my roommate’s brother. 3.  What??!?? 4. You’re HOW old???!?? 5. I need to see your badge.  6. Crack House Do Not Enter By Order of Princeton Borough Police. See also: Naked, Naked Tap Duty, Suck the Duck.

Naked: adj. 1. Obviously.

Naked Tap Duty: n. 1. It’s starting to look like a bad Nelly video in herre. 2. That doesn’t mean you can put your clothes back on…just get me a beer.

Scary Blue Monster Painting: n. 1. Scary blue monster painting—wait, is this getting too confusing? 2. Friend to all, until the night when an unwise combination of chemicals renders it less of a friend and more like that scary blue monster who ate your family back in '85.  3. Priceless. 

Bar Dancing: v. 1. To writhe, preferably naked, on the bar. 2. Better, but still not acceptable, excuse for your bruised knees and that topless photo of you circulating on the internet, forever ending your American Idol fantasies.

Restrooms: n. 1. Traditional eating club fixture, usually full of lots of girls who have had too much to drink and discreet oral sex. 2. At Terrace, the lines are preferred in the restrooms, rather than for the restrooms. 3.  Especially, but not limited to: the tops of the toilet seats in the girls’ restroom; the third urinal.

Food-Only Terrans: n. 1. But why?

Non-Terrans: n. 1. Kick ‘em in the balls and yell “narc.”  2. Problem solved. 3. Crisis averted. See also: Civilians, Normal.

Ivy: n. 1. Eating club joined by only the most blue-blooded, pretentious, and self-serving, who know that to really have a good time, they must slink over to Terrace at 4:30 am for anonymous sex and entertainment. 2. Gay. SO gay. 3. And thanks for eating all of our food, assholes. 

Free Lunch: n. 1. No such thing.  2. Unless you’re fucking an officer. 3. In which case, you get dinner, too.