FIC RECS If you're not familiar with fic recs and how they work then -- well, they're basically exactly what they sound like: someone scours the internet for good fanfiction and then posts the links along with a brief summary and generally frank commentary. Aside from absurd standards, it's not much different here. Couples/ships will always be provided. Ratings are supplied for anything PG-13 and above, as well as for unrated stories deemed too inappropriate for the kiddies (I don't pointlessly dole out high ratings; if it's rated R and you're under fourteen, keep walking). Warnings are occasionally given for fics featuring disturbing themes, sex, and/or ridiculous amounts of gore. Fandoms and fics are listed alphabetically. Alice in Wonderland | Bones | Death Note | Eureka | Fillmore! | Firefly | Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy | Harry Potter | House | The Incredibles | Lord of the Rings | Naruto | Scrubs | Smallville | X-Men Enjoy.

ALICE IN WONDERLAND When Curiousity Met Insanity by bri_chan and zippitydodah27 A goofy, loveable Mad Hatter tries every trick in the book and then some while pursuing a decisively stubborn Alice. It’s not exactly a fanfic so much as a web comic detailing her return to Wonderland, but absolutely nothing lacks quality and the sheer genius deserves a nod all the same. top

BONES Knight in Dented Armor by Hematite Badger Zack starts a bar fight. That alone is a pretty good reason for reading it; the rest is just bonus. What Hodgins Saw by Caroline The end of “Two Bodies In The Lab” according to Hodgins, in which he draws a few conclusions about Booth and Brennan’s relationship and geeks out about Kevlar vests. It’s adorable, entirely in character, and short enough to be more than worth the read. top

DEATH NOTE Mind Games by wild filly A witty, generally brilliant Raito/L fic that not only portrays their respective personalities flawlessly (and oftentimes comically) but also establishes a disturbingly realistic relationship between them. PG-13, multi-chaptered, and my favorite DN fanfic by far. Opposable Thumbs by Luc Court Raito attempts to determine just what makes L a genius. A perfectly in-character and incredibly well written one-shot. Rated PG-13. Train Wreck by Dragon Pearl1 L forces Raito to watch shoujo anime at some ungodly hour of the morning. The prose might not be in the same league as the other recced fics, but the conflict’s chalk full of funny. top

EUREKA Brilliant by zhian_tara Nathan receives his first less-than-A+ grade ever and, surprisingly enough, isn’t happy; a brief glimpse into Nathan’s college life and the thoughts of his Aerospace Engineering 401 professor. Sweet, rather entertaining, and very well written. Last Call by Prosperpina After the season two finale, Stark more or less drowns himself in alcohol and Carter, while fulfilling his duty as the friendly town sheriff, discovers that the scientist is a very amusing drunk. Perfectly characterized, funny, and short; Stark/Carter, rated R for a little easily ignore-able smut. The Perils of Joint Tenancy by black_eyedgirl A mistake or glitch or something leaves Stark and Carter sharing a body. What could happen? Brilliant, entertaining, and very well-written; Stark/Carter, rated PG-13 but borders on R for an easily skip-able scene. Please Discuss Only Approved Topics With Your AI by jmtorres SARAH gets the wrong impression and suddenly a whole bunch of kinky things begin to show up around the house. It’s not a romance; instead, it’s funny and crude without being horribly explicit. Six Reports Nathan Stark Wishes Never Crossed His Desk by mtgat Exactly what the title says. Horribly entertaining, very well-written, and littered with geeky allusions; more than worth the read. top

FILLMORE! Shattered by Abellen Considering that there’s only a smattering of fluff amongst twenty-one chapters of angst, drama, and tragedy, this fic probably shouldn’t be quite so enjoyable. In fact, it should be one of those fics that makes you all sad and queasy. But the writing is beautiful, the plot engaging despite being rather far-fetched, and the author’s use of artistic license is truly admirable, so it shall be recced. Fillmore/Ingrid, PG-13. top

FIREFLY Big Damn Zombies, Sir by Shrift Jayne gets zombified and no one's inclined to give the situation one ounce of seriousness. The dialogue is spot-on, the characters are perfect, and the premise is just funny. No pairing, but still worth the read. Cerberus by babies-stole-my-dingo When the ever-vengeful Niska kidnaps two of the crew, Jayne does everything in his power to keep a promise he hadn’t wanted to make. Tragic, beautifully written, and consistently in-character; implied Jayne/River, rated PG-13 for torture and the like, and equipped with several alternate endings. In The Box by Dyce In which it’s proven that men who capture the crew of Serenity without the intention of torture or murder can be infinitely worse than those who do. It’s funny, distinctly in-character, and Dyce is an incredible writer. The Other Foot, Obliquely Run by Musesfool I’m usually not one for Zoë stories, but this is a work of art—a beautiful, heartrending fic that explores the depth of her friendship with Mal. Takes place after and is full of spoilers for the Big Damn Movie. Professionals by inlovewithnight As is custom, Inara hires a bodyguard to accompany her to a ball. It’s written expertly, with wonderful dialogue, perfect characterizations, and a touch of Firefly-esque humor – actually, it’s just a good story overall. Not a romance. top

GRIM ADVENTURES OF BILLY AND MANDY Trophy Date by The Magic Kumquat Grim is dragged to Billy and Mandy's senior prom as the latter's "trophy date" in this entertaining and incredibly well put together fanfic. Implied Grim/Mandy. top

HARRY POTTER By The Way They Dance by Aurinko During Minerva’s graduation ball, she and Professor Dumbledore share a dance. On its own, this short little fic is pretty but not exactly worth reccing; however, its sequel is another matter entirely. The Morning After details the repercussions of their outwardly innocent dance; from an ill-fated discussion between the Headmaster and Minerva to the reactions of her incredibly curious friends. Both fics are well-written and perfectly in-character. Common Courtesy by MyInnerHermione A sweet albeit slightly unrealistic fanfic in which Snape unwittingly begins a routine exchange of polite greetings between himself and the Head Girl. A pre-Snape/Hermione fanfic if nothing else. Draco Malfoy, the Amazing Bouncing... Rat? by Maya Draco Malfoy is suddenly transformed into a rat and, begrudgingly, into the Gryffindor mascot. Despite the crack fic premise, this multi-chaptered fic is the embodiment of brilliance and is, with its caffeine-obsessed Malfoy and his inevitable corruption of the Gryffindors, one of the best fanfics to find its way to the web. Ultimately Draco/Hermione and a handful of other minor couples, and rated PG-13 for both an occasionally unhealthy dose of innuendo and because it’s all just too damn funny for the little kids. Eulogizing Memoirs by Amelie Rae Lanhoss As a twenty-six-year-old Hermione delivers the eulogy at Sirius Black’s funeral, she details memories and events that range from her time spent in the past to hot chocolate in the present. The prose is beautiful, the characterizations brilliant, and Amelie fleshes out the Wizarding World beyond comparison. A somewhat AU Sirius/Hermione fic with a touch of every genre; rated PG-13. Everything I’ve Ever Done by duj On her last day of school, Hermione apologizes to the Potions Master for everything; he isn’t happy then and he isn’t particularly happy when she keeps coming back. A rather long but lovely romance that follows the relationship between the two characters after school rather than during. Snape/Hermione. Rated PG-13. Fulcrum by Caged Eternity The night before the final battle, the Order gathers. Not a romance, and is instead short, dark, and terribly beautiful with an ending more powerful than that of any other fic I’ve read. Harry Potter and the Plumbing of Doom by Darth Maligna A witty and rather crass parody of the second movie. Filled with ingenious quips and geeky allusions, and ought to have been rated PG-13 for more innuendo than the brain can process. Have You Ever by Lady Moonglow There’s clever banter, no time turner, and completely plausible Tom/Hermione. Yes, you kind of have to struggle through the first few chapters and you want to pull your hair out at the end, but the prose is top-notch for the ship and no one ever falls out of character—and there’s an alternate ending. Beautiful, brilliant, and a must read for shippers and non-shippers (I certainly wasn’t a fan before I read this) everywhere. Rated PG-13. The Last Word by Kalina Lea A terribly in-character Snape and an older, somewhat harassed Hermione star in this oftentimes hilarious spoof of You’ve Got Mail. The writing might not be the best in the fandom, but lines like “drives Molly crazy to find my thoughts in the laundry” and the aforementioned terribly in-character Snape overshadow everything. Snape/Hermione, multi-chaptered but brief. On Hating Cats and Other Lies by Eudora Bragg Beautiful, tragic, and undeniably unique; this fic implies one of the most bizarre ships and makes it work while simultaneously maintaining the student-faculty dynamics that characterize the world of HP. Sirius/Minerva that can be interpreted into any relationship you like, and rated R for crude language. Registration by Samvimes James cons his two best friends into holding a place in the Hogwarts student registration line for his not-yet-born son, leading to some interesting results. Short, funny, and infinitely better than I made it sound. Sirius Black, Super Genius by Maya In which Sirius concocts a ridiculous scheme to force James out of love with Lily… and fails miserably. Short, hilarious, and a perfect example of Maya’s genius. top

HOUSE All Gone Out by Athenae House’s observations of Cameron before the series and during season one. Perfectly true to both the show and the characters, and beautifully written. By The Numbers by Namaste After (or maybe during) “97 Seconds,” the remaining fellowship candidates attempt to understand why someone like House would do… well, what he did. Flawlessly characterized despite the uncertain personalities provided by the show, and the writing is brilliant. The Great Escape by Namaste In which House swears he isn’t grieving and Wilson resigns himself to digging. I’m tentative of handing over a more detailed summary because that might ruin the fun of it, but take my word on this: Namaste has yet to produce a bad House fic. Rash Decisions by Mossley While treating a patient with a tendency for Hulk-like anger issues, Cameron is hospitalized… and House’s reaction bothers him more than anyone else. Features both an interesting case and a well-written story; pre-House/Cameron if nothing else and rated PG-13. top

THE INCREDIBLES Comics, Cookies, and Revenge by Lejindary Bunny Syndrome finds himself a new lieutenant with the help of the World Wide Web. There’s no absence of plot or grammar, intrigue or comedy, etc., and the new lieutenant (Vex) is likeable despite her one or two Mary Sueish qualities. Overall, it’s another Syndrome/OC fanfic, but it’s one of the best reads you’re liable to find in the fandom nonetheless. Purity by Rack Quite possibly one of the most twisted fics I’ve ever read, but beautifully written and true-to-character despite its… twistedness (no better synonyms come to mind). Syndrome/Violet, rated PG-13. top

THE LORD OF THE RINGS Elves, Hobbits, & Mary-Sues, Oh My! by Paige Darke Narrated by a cynical, very modern teenager who finds herself trapped in Middle Earth and held captive by Mary-Sues, this fic scratches on every genre and is undeniably brilliant in its use of story and comedy. The prose isn’t quite top notch, but it’s perfect for the fully-inhabited main character. Multi-chaptered and rather long (although you won’t notice until you’ve finished and realize that it’s three-something in the morning), eventual Legolas/OC, and rated PG-13 for profanity, crude humor, and assorted other… things. top

NARUTO Fifty-Nine Moves by PaperButterfly7 A rose amongst the weeds and muck that seem to define Shikamaru/Temari fanfiction, this fic is a rather beautiful account of a relationship that developed over the course of fifty-nine moves… or visits, whichever. Loophole by leafygirl Sakura’s not-so-well-thought-through plan to retrieve Sasuke probably relies a little too much on Itachi’s cooperation in this beautifully written, thoroughly plotted, and perfectly in-character fic. Dark, multi-chaptered, Itachi/Sakura (which I didn’t ship when I started reading this), and by far my favorite of the Naruto fanfics I’ve read. Rated PG-13. The Purest by Mikami She resurrects Haku, and that alone makes me happy. Throw in the presence of plot, action scenes, geisha, angst, and the inevitable romance and it's bound to make a few other people happy as well. PG-13, Haku/Sakura. I'll wait until you're done reading before I tell you that it's never going to be finished. Weaponry by Desolate Butterfly While shirking his duties, Kakashi eavesdrops on his innocent little students and overhears some things he hadn’t expected to overhear. Stuffed with innuendo and surprisingly well-written, it’s short enough to be more than worth the read. Rated PG-13 for off-color humor. top

SCRUBS Divine Intervention by Perpet_fic It’s a little too… something for my tastes but, if you ignore that completely unidentifiable something, it’s certainly a good fic. An amusing, in-character one-shot. JD/Cox. And Ben is an absolutely wonderful ghost. Five Things JD Doesn't Like About Dr. Cox by Kat_lair In which JD’s attempt to prove his independence proves something else instead. JD/Cox and an interesting take on JD’s voice. Four Things You Have to Get Used to When John Dorian is Your Boyfriend by Puritybrown Not only is the prose beyond impressive and the story as realistic as Scrubs can possibly be, but this fic also possesses my absolute favorite Cox rant to date. A short, sweet, and slightly meandering JD/Cox fic; rated R for language and sexual implications. His Bed by Takoon Less crude than the title implies, brilliant, and brief enough that I’ve read it more times than I’m willing to admit, this fic features a baffled Cox and a preoccupied bed. JD/Cox, PG. My Problem by Riona JD is bombarded by an onslaught of vivid daydreams involving him and, well, Dr. Cox. Rated PG-13 and narrated by the most in-character JD I’ve seen yet. top

SMALLVILLE I Drive the Car by Dyce Set sometime during the early seasons. Chloe needs a Useful Guy to help in an investigation and Lex, trying to play up on his benevolent billionaire mannerisms, stumbles into the role. Narrated in a voice that is unmistakably Chloe and filled to the brim with wit and brilliance. Reasons Unknown by Perri Season 1. Chloe and Lex are kidnapped and locked away, which is, y’know, sort of a problem. The writing suits both characters, and the brilliance of the banter and snark just demands appreciation. Friendship or pre-romance if nothing else. What You Don't Know by Skauble The link above is for the smutty, R-rated version; if you, like me, have the maturity of a five-year-old, read the PG-13 version. Lex’s new (and more immoral than usual) scheme to uncover Clark’s secret involves a memoryless Chloe and a fake marriage. You’ll have to allow room for artistic license, but it’s one of the very few dark Lex/Chloe fics that don’t kill you with drama and the only amnesia fic I’ve ever liked. Not for Lana fans. Would You Like Some Java With Your Snark? by Plum_Evil Seeing as I lean more toward the sheepish fics than the apocalyptic ones, this fic pretty much summarizes what I think a good Chloe/Lex story should be: ingenious snark, baffled narratives, coffee, and fluff. PG-13. You'd Better Not Go Down to the Woods Today by Dyce Full of the same absurdity, cheeky humor, and envy-inspiring prose, the sequel to "I Drive the Car" is just as brilliant as its predecessor, if not more so. top

X-MEN The Death of Arthur by KindKit Post X3. A dark, insightful, ultimately beautiful fic that offers brief glimpses into Erik’s life after he’s stripped of his mutation. I particularly love the way metal is discussed. Charles/Erik implied. Feed Me to the Tabloid Monster by Trollprincress "When I came to again, I was still pregnant. I was also in the med-lab lying on a table, a decided improvement. And just so you understand I hadn't achieved a new level of zen calm over this whole thing, my best friend was fondling my belly." A perfect mockery of all that is mpreg and the only Bobby/Rogue fic I've willingly read. Blatantly PG-13. Golden by Andraste A phone call shortly before the first movie that proves painfully insightful. Erik/Charles. top