Evil House of Cheat - Essays for free!

Hell of a lotta Earl

  • the comic strip of gratuitous mystery
  • comedy that almost might have been
  • rotting teeth and soap-flavored candy
  • the information frontage road
  • groundhog day massacre
  • third-degree indian burn
  • pulsing polyps of pointlessness
  • the unlightable bareness of meat
  • the business side of the doublewide
  • shower from the clocktower
  • sausages for the hostages
  • sucker punch in the gut bucket
  • frying bacon in the bedpan
  • sweat beads on your inner needs
  • corncob harmonica serenade
  • spinning turrets of pure spite
  • glitter in your gruel
  • soothing salve for you intake valve
  • scabrous skivvy scrapings
  • apocalypso facto
  • half-hearted sips from the sagging udder of boredom
  • dump truck motorcade
  • impromptu saliva bath
  • pedal-powered stink generator
  • the staccato drone of spontaneous monotony
  • stick ponies for staff people
  • bite-mark festoonery
  • blister balm for bottle blowers
  • pinking shear tracheotomy
  • touched by an anvil
  • the barnacle-encrusted bilge pump on your sunken dreams
  • tossing corn cobs into the maw of uncertainty
  • gravity's pull when your cavity's full
  • pulverized funnybone jelly
  • rotten egg incubator
  • first dibs on the last rites
  • nourishing nuggets of nether nougat
  • doddering docent to the museum of misanthropy
  • the beneficient bosom of the blasť
  • comedy's cauterized stump
  • overlarge underplug afterburn
  • razorblade whirlygig
  • army man in your navy beans
  • clenched to the bursting point
  • festering on the fringes of finitude
  • moldering mementos of merriment
  • gravy-stained laugh remnants
  • the wet carpet treatment
  • the tone-arm of turbidity
  • sand dollars for the dirt-poor
  • the watery whey of whimsy
  • nutritious nectar nodules
  • the delicate dew drops of disgust
  • the mouldering mounds of mirth
  • the glistening globules of glee
  • scraping the roe from the slit-open belly of comedy
  • tarpaper in the tissue dispenser
  • when the residue comes due
  • rusted re-bar in your rumpus room
  • ineluctable bile duct gusher
  • pencilnecks on the poop deck
  • food for thoughtlessness
  • unplugged humor respirator
  • mouthful of molten muck
  • firmly fastened to the milk sac of misanthropy
  • something ripe in the bagpipe
  • hi-octane shlock vapor lock
  • rust-rotted rainbow of regret
  • rock-hard abdominal cramps


  • The Dead Clown Saga

  • constructed from an ancient method using wattle and pitch
  • the doleful mewling of freshly-weened wussies
  • tedium's oaken tent pole


  • Wastes of Time

    Ed's "Choose Yer Own Goddam Adventure" Story
    La Piraja - A Script I made for an English Course

    My livejournal.