Bums

Hangin' with the Bums of Philly

If you have ever been to Philadelphia I am sure you can relate to the fact that there is an over-welming number of bums that live in the streets. To lazy to get a job most of them ask the ever daughnting question, "Hey got any change?" or if they are too lazy they hold a cup and jiggle the change in the cup to get your attention ... LIKE THAT WILL MAKE ME WANT TO PUT MONEY IN IT! Then you have your ultra lazy bum (most of who are in their 20's) who sit there with a clever little sign that makes an attempt to make you feel bad and of coarse the Dunkin' Donuts cup which held their coffee from the previous morning.
These people prey on weeker people so that they can get money which is all they want...not food or clothing.....just money! If you are up early enough you can actually catch some of the "bums" getting out of their cars or vans and setting up on the street just in time for the morning rush of people going to work. Thats why you never see bums in the business district on the weekend ... because they are else wear preying on tourists.

Well enough about that, here is a list of things to say to a bum so that they leave you alone and you don't feel guilty.

1. Just say, "I'm a college student I have no money." 100% of the time they will laugh and say "Sorry, I should be giving you money"

2. If they ask for a specific amount ask them back, "Got change for a dollar?" If they don't just walk away.

3. "Didn't I just give you money yesterday?"

4.   In the rare event that you are carrying a pizza box and are asked for change offer them a slice, it will mess them up. It is quite funny cause they will ask for change again and all you have to say is, "Sorry no change ... just pizza, take it or leave it."

5.   When they ask for change tell them, "Sorry, I only give advice not money." If they actually ask for advice then tell them, "Go to the zoo, they are always looking for people to shovel S#!T."

By now most of you are probably convinced that I am a mean and cruel person, and that probably isn't far from the truth. However you can't honestly say that there wasn't a point in these people's lives that they could have done somthing to stop themselves form getting to this point.