life
There is no word(s) I can find to describe this thing. It's something so unpredictable. If one could really find wat his/her life is all about, I really do envy him/her. I created this page for one thing, not to tell people wat life is. It's for me to write down whatever I would like my life to be. I think I have grew out of one of the most unbearable days of my life. I don't wish for my life to be like some kind of belonging. I want to live for my own. There was this person who told me that I'm being selfish like that. But, I think if one don't live for himself, he would be living for others. And that makes him so worthless? It's as if owing pthers his life. I don't think I owe my life to anybody not even my parents. I'm not being rude, I do thank them for bringing mi up. But if I am to think that I owe them my life for this, then it would have defeat their purpose of having me. Cos from my point of view, I think that they want me to make a life out of myself, and not be someone that adapts himself to everyone around him. I don't deny that it's only going to make you a better person if you are to give in for what you have... Actually I don't know why am I saying this, but I will still have to type it out... it makes mi feel better.... (I'm not feeling good now....) maybe life is just about things that i dun really want to face? or perhaps certain things i dun DARE to face?  I talked to Edwin and Kyle about this matter, they said that this is a phase of life that everyone will go through... Can I not go through? Maybe I shall not care so much? Just do what that i think i should do, and not care bout what is going on around me? then maybe life will be better for me? Just hope so... And I also hope that my life will be just as simple as this page...

Thursday, 19th Dec 2002
12:00
GalLery~
baCk~
hOme~
Today started well for me... Got off the stucked up perception of life... I must thank Edwin and Kyle for that.. *thaNkS* Woke up quite late today, maybe it's due to the late conversation with mOo... but it's not too late to watch "real rooms" on channel 5. Dunno why I dun feel hungry at all, skipped breakfast and lunch. Got a kick to get to the band room and play some music. Did nothing much today, time simply passed like that...

Friday, 20th Dec 2002
11:33 PM
I missed POKEMON~! Maybe you find me crazy, but I do watch Pokemon... hahaha i do find myself wierd. 17 liao still watching cartoon, especially Pokemon.
I'm in a dillema today, dunno if I wanna go out or not, but at last, went out with K and YeLing today. K wanna buy some stuff for his girl. Then went to suntec to look for stuf... then blah blah blah... Then Yeling isn't feeling very good today. Lots of things happened. I'm abit involved in it also. But it feels great when everything's over. btw, i just got home from some "talk" ... Feeling sleepy now... Goodnight...

Saturday, 21st Dec 2002
4:07 AM
Got pulled out of bed by my sis. Feeling... sleepy.... got to go to my aunt's place today... to eat some "tang yuan"... I love and hate to go to my aunt's place... Cos, it's so far~! it's at Choa Chu Kang~! then will have to take cab there, cos i dun like to change train and the LRT, then still have to walk~! Love it cos my aunt has a dog, 2 hamsters, 3 terrapins, 3 guppies to play with... The rain spoilt everything today. And that includes me buying my stuff. Cousins laughing at me when I just got into the auntie's place which is just downstairs. Guess wat happened? My primary 3 cousin is teling everybody that I have a GIRLFREIND~! and my aunties were saying "got time bring her up lor..." wah liew... wat a maglign~! that is yeling they were saying...i almost fainted~!!!!!! then now online reciting wat i feel about today lor... yah... and the song "Legend of Yao" is nice to the ears, but when tried following the song, it's like a chase... well... i think that's all for today...

Sunday, 22nd Dec 2002
1:49 AM
Nothing really happened today... Went out with bao to buy his xmas gifts for his somebody... Took a long time before he could decide on what to buy for his somebody... thought all the way from Bugis to Suntec... At last bout a music box and a figurine from precious thots... It cost him quite a sum (as I take it lah...)...  Maybe that's the power of love? But if he really loves her then it's alright lor... And coincidentaly, Bia and Yeling dyed hair on the same day...  Thought of having a cello... Boon helped me ask his friend, and his friend is selling at a reasonable price... But then i dun think i can afford it... That spoilt my day... feeling down now... maybe it's due to the thought of loosing a chance for a cheap cello? it's so near, but yet so far... This is a message I would like to tell Santa...
                     "Dear Santa,
                       I've been a good boy this year...
                       Or maybe I'm not... I dun deny...
                       I'm asking for a cello for this christmas...
                       Hope that you see my message and reply if possible...
                       By the way, thanks for the christmas you've given us for so many years...

                       Yours Sincerely,
                       Edmund.                                                                                                                  "

Monday, 23rd Dec 2002
11:24 PM
Today is Christmas Eve... dunno why, but no mood for x'mas at all... Maybe it's becos of yesterday, I have not got over with it yet... But I will try to keep the smile on my face... = ) And after I die, I would want to be Santa... This is the first year that I have a wish for christmas... Christmas is a season of giving, so I don't mind if Santa don't give me anything for xmas this year... I'm writing now becos I wouldn't be free later to write... I will be at bao bao's place "swimming" away... hahaha... It will be quite crowded there... maybe we will be gambling today, so I wish that I could win a cello back... As for now, I think I better go catch some sleep, if not I will be dozing off while "swimming"... GoodNight~!
Btw, here's wishing all of you a MerRy cHriStmAs~!

Tuesday, 24th Dec 2002 (Xmas Eve)
3:04 PM
ContInuaTion~!