As promised, here is a selection of the stories and assorted "funnies" that you have sent me this week. I must emphasise that I have just picked ten items at random, and could easily have picked ten different ones - if your contribution is not here, that doesn't mean that I don't like it for some reason. It could well appear in a future compilation.
The other thing to stress is the obvious point that humour is highly subjective - what you find funny might well leave other people cold, and vice versa. Please try not to take offence at anything you read here - I'm sure that nobody was trying to "get at" anyone else when they sent their contributions, although this can happen purely by accident. There's nothing too outrageous here, although the theme of s*x plays a small role in one of them - but we're all grown-ups, aren't we?
Enjoy!
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At a meeting of the West Virginia University Libraries department heads on Monday, the head of access services said she had received a call from a student regarding "animosity day." She said that at other libraries she had used there was an animosity day for forgiving fines. Did WVU have such a day? The librarian just said, "No, we don't have such a day here."
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This story led to others about book dummies. One student, with book dummy in hand, said he had found the book he needed but couldn't get it open.
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In my first professional library reference job, a middle-aged man approached & asked for things on "Eastern religion." This covered an awful lot of territory, so after proudly applying some skillful reference interviewing techniques--recently learned in library school--it turned out that what he really sought was just a tad narrower: to get ahold of the Kama Sutra, which of course shows several alternative positions for meeting the minimum standards of attempting procreation, some impractical for all but the most fit but nevertheless of great interest at that time (the late '70s).
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My contribution is in the form of a sign posted several years ago behind the
circulation desk at Stanford University's Robert Crown Law Library: "To
err is human; to forgive is NOT Library policy." After having worked in
a large public library, I know that statement is often true.
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When I started work as a library assistant in an academic library many years
ago, during my first week I was on the counter when one of the professors
said to me: "I have a pace maker" and he indicated to be let round the
security system. Myself being rather naive about what a pace maker was
assumed it was some sort of computer equipment like a disk etc, so I said to
him : "Oh no problem just give it to me and I will pass it round"
Unfortunately he had a reputation of being a bit of a grouchy old professor
and didn't see the funny side and pushed me out of the way and bypassed the
security system. I was never allowed to forget that incident by my
colleagues.
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Having gone through a lot of trouble to track down a book which the (major) publisher finally confessed to having not gone to the printers, I phoned the requestor to say that it hadn't been published yet
- Well can't you get me a copy, I need it urgently
I can't, it's not been printed yet
- Well can't you get me copy - I'll pay for a courier?
(Bite tongue to say which part of "it has not been printed" have you not understood - (bad customer service))
Not really until it is printed
- When will it be printed?
The publishers wouldn't say, it has just been "delayed in production"
- Why didn't you make them say
I tried, they didn't know but the nervous giggle when I mentioned the title didn't sound good.
- So when am I going to have a copy
(Take a deep breath)
I don't know, we can register the order but I can't get a copy until it's printed. What piece of information did you want from it can we find it elsewhere?
No I just wanted to read the book - it looked interesting
So it's not just the general public that have their complete moments of absurdity
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A couple of years ago someone came up to me and asked "where will I find old
Scientific Americans?" I grinned and suggested that he try some
long-established US laboratory
OK, they really meant back-copies of the journal...!
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(Several people have drawn my attention to this one)
Also, Honda has an advertisement posted on one of their websites
(http://www.hhgproject.org/honda.jpg), the text of which reads: "The
automotive equivalent of a really hot librarian." above a photo of the
new Honda Accord V-6 Coupe, and below it, "Good-looking, yet intelligent.
Fun, yet sophisticated. All in a very eye-catching 200 horsepower
package." This is followed by the words: "The Accord V-6 Coupe" and
the Honda logo. Many of us here in the States think it's rather clever.
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A story I head about 20 years ago, from the person who claimed he
was the perpetrator.
A senior librarian in a prestigious public library, responsible among
other things for its public enquiry service, found one of its phones
ringing and no-one available to answer it.
Adopting the attitude "senior librarian I may be, but I have not lost
the common touch" he decided he would be very abe to deal with a
phone enquiry and picked up the receiver.
The caller expained he was a business man meeting some Eastern
European contacts the next morning at the airport
" I want to be able to say "good morning" to them in yugoslav" he
said
"Ah - serbo croat" said the senior librarian
"Great, thanks", said the caller and rang off!
The senior librarian spent a wakeful night worrying about the
businessman greeting his visitors with handshakes and cries of
"serbo croat" all round.
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Stories: A lady came into the music department asking for any pre-Christmas, music.
Stories: Another lady came in asking for the album "Jesus Christ with the original cast."
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