"The Killah Report #2"
by the Mad Killah, 21 April 1999

    Hey you FUCKERS, 'tis the one and only Mad Killah- and as I have heard I gots the hook up, ... but leave me the fuck alone. So, another week another quello. I knew you'd be back- all of you, and you'll always come back. Why? Well, because you like me- you really like me! No, as we all know that definitely isn't the reason. I will tell you the reason but most likely you already know why, you want to know who I'm talking about, if and why I am talking about YOU and the rest of you are just plain bored.

So I go on, Why does an ice cream eating fan have his own news column and our very own Lunatic Better known as Asmodeus not have his own news slot? I wonder, well First, I wonder if Asmodeus can read or write, of course I don't have to think too far into that because as we all know he is a manger at a very disclosed location and second, would he want his own column? hmm., I do believe he has alot to say and if it doesn't add up to alot it at least would be interesting. While I am on the subject of this great new addition to life of EEW, Why in the hell is my name at the end of the line of columnists? I do believe its a mistake and look foward to it being corrected by the time I have to write my next sheet.

As pieces of the last HH3 linger threw my mind I cant help but think El Guapo is just great. If he had been here when it was started there would be no question about it - he would totally be Espanos Locos. Which in my book is muy bueno, But alas he is the bread and butter of The Killah Squad and it only makes me proud that he's out there kicking the shit outta people like
the not-so-lethal Leroy and Ice tre. BRAVO. Still El Guapo is no the only member of the Squad, No there are other misc. members spread out all over the world , for instance right this second one of Squad is in Delaware checking out some "plants" , to uh grow, Yeah of course - you know make the EEW yard a lil prettier. Ok what was I saying, all right the point is : There are other members in my Squadron, most prominent is Tsunami. Seems he cant get a match with an opponent that has the ability to test or lets say push the big man to show you the moves he has been trained to execute upon mere jobbers. Who has he fought in the EEW? Well, the only one I can remember is the Dis, now although his skills have dramatically improved (Read: You still suck) he is of no competition to Tsunami. So I sit and think How do I make somewhat of a monster a superstar of the likeness of El Guapo? The only thing I came up with is to put them in a ring together and have them kick the crap out of each other. I believe it will prove to the EEW that Tsunami is not only the guy who has to get El Guapos tacos but he is also an equal team member of The Squad. So for the Next hard-core House Party, You the people and whatever those other things are will get an Extreme show that will not only compare with but blow away the recent Ice Tre VS Guapo match for the B.B.B. belt.,
Is it a promise? for the most part, A threat ? no, Im not that dumb asshole.

What else.., This Tom Green guy that plagues the almost-dead-at-times forum is so freaking funny, If they could get him, Jesus, The Pledgemaster and The Serial Hippie, with Dante as a guest It would be so awesome. Just thought I would add that. Does anyone really think Leroy and Tre are a suitable team to be facing Espanos Locos at the next HHP ?., They haven't really fought as a team that well in the past so I predict those Loco hub cap stealing funny guys will dominate the match and destroy Lucifer's body guards. Why does the Spiffy Ref have a problem with them anyway? Im sure if you really wanted your hubcaps back they could possibly locate them., But hey who needs hubcaps? I thought the silver circles they spray painted on your tires looked just as good if not better.

I hear there will be Videos available really soon and T- shirts too, that's cool, I would definitely look into that - specially if I was a wrestler. What is better than wrestling? Actually having a tape with YOU wrestling, Come on the chicks will dig it - specially if your trying to come off as some hard core asshole! They can also serve as presents, send grandma one - she'll be so proud (Tsunami's was) or that Crazy Fuck up uncle you have- it'll make him laugh - and you know how everyone loves that hacking smoked for 40 years cough/laugh. Just think one day when some of you are famous you will have the EEW to look back upon and thank for the jump-start. And for NON-Wrestlers - Check out what Extremely Extreme back yard Wrestling is all about, You think your backyard, frontyard, basement, trampoline, pogo stick, discovery zone wrestling feds are Extreme? Hard to the core? Well EEW will open a whole new world to those who though Extreme was merely a seven letter word.So check it out bitches..,

Wrestler of the week : Sissy boy Devine, Why ? cause not only has he really been trying but he just recently hooked up with a
really cool chica..Go SISSY !

T-shirt saying of the week: a tie: "I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people"
                                                "Please don't make me kill you"

Hate me.... Da Killah
Mad_Killah@hotmail.com