Talk about your tremendous letdowns. When I walked in the door after an afternoon of Scary Movie 3 and a haircut, Nana told me to call Stephanie because she had news, and Nana didn’t want to tell me herself.

I know. That’s what I excitedly thought, too.

But no, I was hoodwinked. The news wasn’t even good, since Stephanie was just letting me know she wasn’t graduating in December after all, but next May, thus altering our pre-Christmas plans a tad. That’s something to discuss, sure, but nothing for Nana to hide from me! How wrong!
Posted 6:45 p.m.

    The economy jumps the most in twenty years, yet all I hear from the media and the left (I repeat myself) is the big BUT at the end. As Atlanta radio host Neal Boortz noted today, “even The New York Times has reported that the Bush tax cuts are largely responsible for our growing economy. In spite of that, the Democrats are still talking about tax increases. Why? Because class warfare sells better than the economy when you're talking to core Democratic voters.”
Posted 6:45 p.m.

    Alright! The Gender Genie confirms that I'm male!:

Female Score: 1829
Male Score: 3530

I submitted the last few days worth of blogging to achieve this result. In no way did I skew the results by throwing in words like "chick" or phrases like "so I chugged brewskies with my homies."
Posted 1:31 a.m.

    Today marked the first time in my life I've been kissed on the cheek by a Lebanese woman. My Nana's neighbor, Sylvia, is a nice senior citizen who stopped in for a few minutes, and commented that I am "very handsome." Who am I to argue with such a nice lady?!

If it's a Wednesday night, I'm probably not in Atlanta. This week, my visit is in Memphis, two weeks ago was middle Tennessee, two weeks before that was Miami, and over Thanksgiving I'll be back in Tennessee, then my Christmas vacation will include Louisville, Chapel Hill and Memphis. Atlanta is for work. Travel is for fun!
Posted 1:31 a.m.

    Two consecutive chilly nights here in Atlanta can mean only one thing: Time to pull out the comforter! Normally I sleep with a sheet and quilt, but this week has produced a lovely cold snap in my bedroom (and not just because I'm doomed to sleep alone the rest of my life), meaning I could reach under the bed, open up the container with my thick blankets, and sleep like a baby in the womb last night. OK, so I don't really remember back that far, but I imagine it's the same thing, swaddled in warmth and listening to Fox Sports radio.

The cold front also means that it's time to crank out the winter clothes! Fan-tastic! I love this time of year, and much prefer to put on thick, roomy sweaters and jackets, because it helps provide me the mindset that I'm hiding all my fat underneath. God bless the cold!
Posted 9:45 p.m.

    Episode two of The Next Joe Millionaire is in the books, and three of the 14 European ladies were kicked out. Analyzing the lot, the women of the Czech Republic were the most attractive as a whole. So far, my two favorites are Czech Linda and German Caterina, or "Cat." Italian Giada is also worth watching.

The main problem remains from last week's obvious note: Bachelor David is a doofus and can't pull this off. He's just too naive, too, well, I'll say it, dumb, to wine and dine these European women and convince them (i.e. lie extremely well) that he has $80 million in the bank. The show's producers really needed to make sure any bachelor had some knowledge of the Old Continent other than "Holland is where they wear those wooden shoes." Oy.
Posted 5:30 a.m.

    Funny email of the week:

      There is a new virus. The code name is "WORK."
      If you receive WORK from your colleagues, your boss, via e-mail, or from anyone else -- do not touch WORK under any circumstances. This virus wipes out your private life completely.
      If you should happen to come in contact with this virus, find two friends and go straight to your favorite restaurant. Order a huge meal and splurge on your favorite dessert and you will find that WORK has been completely deleted from your brain.
      Forward this virus warning immediately to at least five friends. Should you realize you do not have five friends, this means you are already infected by this virus and WORK already controls your whole life. If this is the case, go to that restaurant and stay until you make at least five friends. Then retry.
Posted 2:45 a.m.

    The man is a shameless liar, who doesn’t save his whoppers for even non-serious discussion:

Downing Street says it is "mystified" by reports that Tony Blair discussed his health problems several years ago with Bill Clinton.

Mr Blair's spokesman insisted that his irregular heart beat, which caused him to be hospitalised briefly last week, had never happened before.

But ex-US President Clinton was quoted in the Sunday Mirror as saying: "I've known about this for a long time. He told me about it quite a few years ago.”

The Los Angeles City Council voted unanimously Friday to make it illegal to urinate or defecate in public, a step many said was necessary to curb a growing problem of human waste on city streets.

Some advocates for the homeless were outraged. ... "Criminalizing the behavior of people utilizing their bodily functions is appalling," said Bilal Ali, a member of the Los Angeles Community Action Network.

    Over at the Russell page, Steven has a celebrity sighting and revels in the Evil Empire's loss in the World Series. As we all do.
Posted 7:31 p.m.

    I think the next fad in "viewing parties" has to be VH1's "I Love the 80s Strikes Back" after the previous hit "I Love the 70s." You just know that the "I Love the 90s" will be just as super, but the 80s are my favorite, since it's my fond childhood memories they're making fun of - in a good way.
Posted 4:45 p.m.

    Nice "Saturday" for me on this Wednesday:

Up at Noon, saw Runaway Jury at 1:30, but was disappointed by the leftist political slant. Review soon, and I'll see either Mystic River or Scary Movie 3 on Friday. The former depends on my mood, if I'm ready for a deep film. The latter, if I just want a few cheap laughs.

Played 18 holes at Legacy Golf Club, an executive club, meaning that it's a par 58 with four par fours and 14 par threes. I was six-over at the turn, with a few shots I wanted back. On the back, I was one-under through 13, bogeyed 14, then finished 4-4-5 on the final three par threes for four-over on the back, 68 total. I did have a couple of nice birdies, including No. 6 in which I put the ball two feet from the cup, and No. 13, in which I curved an eight iron from 162 yards over a pine tree and landed the ball three feet over the hole. Problem is, I couldn't putt a lick, finishing with a God-awful 38 putts, including six three-putts. Egads, the golf gods were punishing me somehow. My ball-striking was at least good enough to impress the two guys I was paired with, since they had enough problems just getting past the red tees, let alone having chances at birdie. But, you know, I'm not cocky. I don't think I'm better than they are. (I'm better than they are).

We finished right as dark descended, and I stopped at Best Buy to get the Indiana Jones trilogy on DVD. I wandered around the display in the aisle for a few seconds, realizing what a cute blonde with amazing blue eyes said to me at just that moment, "I don't think they have any widescreen versions." Yep, she was right. Whew, what a smile, I noticed as I looked up. Consulting a Best Buy employee, they had only fullscreen versions left. The cute blonde and I then decided to drive just one shopping center over and check Media Play. Getting out of our cars, I made the move, introducing myself (her name is Jessica), and apologizing for my disheveled appearance after playing golf all afternoon. The entire time I talked to her, at both stores and the parking lots, she flashed that great smile and I'm telling you, all the signs pointed to Potential Date Territory. But, of course, that was shot down fast enough. As we got to the DVD display, she tossed out that she wanted to purchase two, one for her brother and one for her boyfriend. Ugh. That hurt worse than when Karen Allen socked Indiana with the mirror on the cargo ship of Raiders of the Lost Ark. But hey, at least I've got the four-disc set now, am I right?

Now, I'm watching the Yankees-Marlins face-off in extra innings. Dang Florida, blowing the lead in the ninth. Geez, I hate the Yankees. As a letter to the Sports Guy said in yesterday's column, "Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for the house in blackjack." Even worse, I should be at Pro Player Stadium right now with Dad, watching the Red Sox in the World Series. Bummer.
Posted 11:41 p.m.

    I know you knew already, but yes, I did catch the premier Monday of The Next Joe Millionaire, "An International Affair" as the ads said. And you know what? This will be a much more delicious version. American gold diggers? Cute, but they're our gold diggers! Fourteen European money-grubbers? Bring 'em on, break their hearts, make the gals pay! Pay for what, you ask? Does it matter? The Euroweenies have done plenty and accused us of being unsophisticated dweebs who just don't get their cultured lifestyle.

The funniest reaction: When the hostess said that the new Joe, real name David Smith, was a honest-to-goodness cowboy, they might as well have said it was Shrek. Either way, they felt that it was a caricature, a cartoon. A joke, really. Then, though, they were told (i.e., lied to) that "Joe" was the nephew of an oil tycoon and worth $80 million. All of a sudden, these European seductresses lit up and couldn't wait to be cowgirls!

Yep, David, don't you cry at all for breaking these ladies' hearts. One, maybe two expressed interest to meet the man, but the vast majority wanted only to meet the money.

One concern that is sure to give any of the women pause, is that David is a doofus. Sure, he's a nice guy, a pure Southern gentleman, but he doesn't have much personality, and doesn't seem to have smarts, either. The butler is back, so Paul Hogan will have a lot of cleaning up and polishing to do of David and keep the show running on high-octane tears. I feel sorry for David that he has to put up with these chicks, and from the look of it via the season previews, he puts his heart and soul into a search that can be nothing but trouble.
Posted 11:15 p.m.

    This week's best Vents from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:
    – I say a Red Sox/Cubs consolation series would draw higher ratings than the World Series.
    – Is anyone but me concerned about our young people’s woeful inability to express themselves? I mean, like, you know, it’s way scary and stuff.
    – Historians have come up with a phrase to describe the Clinton era. They call it “Sex Between the Bushes.”
    - Al Franken calls himself a "liberal comedian." I can't figure out whether that's a redundancy or an oxymoron.
    - I needed an aggressive realtor to sell my house, and I knew I had found a winner when she drove up in a Hummer.
    - Among all the charity walk-a-thons why is there no Walk for Obesity?
    - It was either the Yankees vs. Marlins in the World Series or the mating rituals of the earthworm on Discovery. I chose the latter.
    - Ever notice how people who tell you to calm down are the ones who got you mad in the first place?
    - My friend works for a fertilizer company. Just think what he has to put up with at work.
    - My wife thinks car maintenance is "wasting money," yet considers buying 25 pillows for the bed and 65 plates to hang on the wall perfectly rational.

My Vent:

    - So if those on the left think Iraq is turning into another Vietnam, then I guess it's only a matter of time until they spit on returning soldiers and call them baby killers.
Posted 10:54 p.m.

    I don’t know if this is funny or disturbing, but Free State High School of Lawrence, Kansas, has decided to confront the issue of students dancing provocatively at dances by making a video to show what is and isn’t appropriate. The kicker: they did it by using the school mascot as the example! Heck yeah, the video is included in this link!
Posted 3:33 a.m.

    For you consumers of alcohol, a fun measuring stick to figure out your lifetime Drink-o-Meter.
Posted 3:28 a.m.

    Funny email of the week:

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

      WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
      WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
      WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
      WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
      WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
      WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
      WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
      WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.
      WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
      WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
      WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
      WARNING: tHe crumsumpten of alcahol may Mack yOu tink you can tipe real gode.
Posted 3:29 a.m.

    I have a strong distaste for sports fans who seek the mantle of the Patton of Cheer. During the Georgia-Vanderbilt game last Saturday, there was a guy a few rows down who sought to be the arbiter of when and how to cheer, telling a lady in front of him not to stand up and yell while her team was on offense, and turning around making the “get up” motion while the team was on defense. Hey bud, I know the game situations, and know very well when the team could use an extra boost of emotion and passion that the crowd helps provide. I don’t need you telling the rest of us that we’re sad sacks for having a seat and eating a hot dog while you flip through your Fan Handbook to determine how loud is too loud on a kickoff return.
Posted 3:31 a.m.

    Talking with Dad (commiserating is more like it) following the Red Sox’ woeful game seven collapse against the dang Yankees, he noted that this is my first drastic heartbreak following the franchise. I’ve only been a big follower the past dozen years or so as I began to care about sports and actively root for certain teams in my early teens, and while the Sox have had good teams during this period, none had as good a chance at the Series as this year’s version. (There are many of us.) Dad, however, can provide plenty of backstory on what I can expect, remembering very well the frustrations of ’67, ’75, ’78 and ’86, among the smaller disappointments.
Posted 3:31 a.m.

    Fun link today, to Insultingly Stupid Movie Physics. An example of what you can expect, from The Matrix: We just can't buy the explanation of why the computer system bothers to maintain not only the simulation but humanity. Supposedly, the computer system needs people as a power source. This makes no sense. The food fed to humans would have far more energy content than the meager power available from humans. It would require even more energy to run the food delivery system not to mention maintain the slime tubs. Why would the machines bother? Surely there'd be a more effective way to extract energy from the food. But wait! It gets worse. Liquefied dead humans are fed back to the living ones. The movie comes dangerously close to implying that the computer/energy system is a giant perpetual motion machine. This is clearly impossible according to the second law of thermodynamics and likewise impossible for us to dismiss lightly. Posted 3:30 a.m.

    Boston's favorite Sports Guy, Bill Simmons, gives the Red Sox' obit, the day after that horrifying game seven loss to the freakin' Yankees. Ugh. It still burns. I can't believe Grady Little hasn't been fired yet.

How did I try to recover today? Played a round of golf down the road from where I'm at (Chapel Hill, Tenn.), Henry Horton State Park, which I haven't played since the Tennessee High School state tournament in '91 and '92. It's a long, difficult course, and I didn't do any better today than I did then!

Now, Stacy, Gabriel and Stephanie are in town, so it'll be a nice weekend with family, including the Georgia-Vandy game tomorrow with Scott and Jenn. And I don't have to worry about being back in time for the first pitch of the Series, since I don't give a flip, as long as the dang Yanks don't win.
Posted 8:56 p.m.

    Sigh.

I wish I could muster more outrage, more passion following the Red Sox blowing game seven with a 5-2 lead in the eighth. First off, Grady Little should be fired before he leaves the clubhouse for that dunderhead decision to leave Pedro in when he was clearly spent.

But, really, I can definitely say I wasn't overconfident prior to that. There's always "something" that's going to happen for the dang Yanks to come back, and I was just waiting ... waiting .... waiting ... there it was, and another disappointing season ends in frustration.

I don't think I'll be able to watch any of the Marlins-Yanks series, and I would guess that 9/10 of America will follow my lead in tuning on whatever's on NBC, CBS or ABC.
Posted 11:23 p.m.

    Aaaargh!

I have failed in my effort to attain World Series tickets for games three and four in Miami next Tuesday and Wednesday.

This morning, I went to bed at 2 a.m., got up by 8:30 and headed 50 feet next door to log on Mom and Aunt Lynn’s computer. Right at 9 a.m. CDT, initially positive as the Ticketmaster site let me choose an area to purchase seats and it began searching. First, it said 15 minute wait. Then, 10 minutes. Then, 11 minutes. Then, it said it couldn’t do it anymore. Try again, it blocked me off. Then, when the code word came on the third time, it was “dagoba.” Had to be a good sign, right, for a Star Wars term to come up? Nada.

Eventually, after 11 a.m., after I heard the busy signal on the phone a thousand times (and had to switch cell phones to Aunt Lynn's after my battery went bye-bye), and Ticketmaster stuck its tongue out at me after my fourth half-hour search came up with nothing, I gave up. Dad and several of his co-workers also quit their search at the office, and thus we must watch the games on the TV. Probably all those dang Yankee fans who are overconfident of their chances tonight. Yankees suck!

Another complaint about the other Evil Empire, Ticketmaster: The “code word” box that is supposed to prevent automatic dialing idiots from clogging the system, is sometimes so hard to read that you have to intentionally mess it up and get another word! Yankees suck!

Not surprisingly, there are already plenty of tickets available for auction at eBay. I'm pretty sure I won't be able to afford any of them, either (some start at $600). Aarrrghh! Yankees suck!

UPDATE: Dad called, said there's a chance that a friend will have tickets for Wedneday's game four. First, the Red Sox need to win. We'll find out about the tickets tomorrow. *crosses fingers*

Oh yeah, Yankees suck!
Posted 12:35 p.m.

    Wow.

Seriously, that's all I can muster right now. I'm drained. The Red Sox survive to play another day with their lose-three-run-lead-then-come-from-behind 9-6 win over the dang Yanks tonight. It's almost destiny, that Pedro and Clemens should face each other for a game seven to decide the ALCS.

And now I'm off to Chapel Hill for the weekend, hopefully finding the Cubs-Marlins game seven on the radio all the way.
Posted 8:23 p.m.

    In the newest example that terrorists don't give a rip if you want to help "their people," three U.S. citizens were killed in Gaza today by a targeted bomb attack on a U.S. Embassy convoy. What were they doing? Going to interview Palestinian candidates for Fullbright study scholarships in the U.S.
Posted 6:10 p.m.

    Outside of the baseball universe, the world is beautiful today (or at least it is in Atlanta). Temps are in the 60s with a cool breeze and the sun shines with nary a cloud in the sky. Yesterday, Autumn made itself known through one of those perfect fronts for the season. Yesterday morning, it was warm and cloudy, then a brief rain came and went, leaving the skies clear, the wind blowing hard and the temps dropping into the 50s. Perfect.

After the Red Sox hang on tonight (* crosses fingers*) by winning in New York, I'll drive up to Chapel Hill, Tenn., and stay with my grandparents, plus see my Mom and Aunt Lynn's new home next door. Saturday is the Georgia-Vanderbilt game with Scott and Jenn, plus their friends James and Samantha (both Dawgs fans, meaning even Scott is outnumbered, not to mention the entire stadium will be wearing red and black in Nashville). Stacy and Stephanie drive down Friday, and will still be in Chapel Hill on Sunday, my 28th birthday, so for the first time in a while, I'll be able to celebrate my birthday with my family instead of having to work.

Today I made a trip to Wal-Mart, wearing my Red Sox jersey. I mostly received sympathetic nods, a couple of guys said, "They better beat the Yankees tonight," and a few Yankees fans tried to rub it in. Oh, well, there are a few out there, I suppose. Sure there are dang Yankees fans; everyone has to have a vice.

Bought my first pair of jeans in, like, five years today, too. I don't know why I haven't owned a pair, other than I could never find any that fit right, and I felt I was dressing too sloppily when I first started at CNN Headline News back in '98. Now, though, I think it'll look fine, and I need Running Around jeans for ballgames and the like. Step one in the Jeff Is Cool reclamation project.
Posted 5:33 p.m.

    I think this is a brilliant idea: "German women fed up with their partners' grumbling on weekend shopping trips can now dump them at a special kindergarten for men offering beer and entertainment," Reuters reports from Berlin.
Posted 11:15 p.m.

    Ouch. Sucks to be a Cubs fan right now. Oh, sure, as a member of Red Sox Nation, we're screwed, down 3 games to 2 heading to dang Yankee Stadium. But the Cubs were up 3-1, lost, flew to Wrigley tonight, and lost again, forcing a game seven tomorrow. But how they lost is what matters. In the 8th inning, a potential third out was muffed by a fan reaching over the rail. That fan now has to move to Siberia, because anywhere else, a Cubs fan will beat him to death. That's potentially their "Buckner" moment, and if it costs Chicago a trip to the Series, that guy's life is over as he knows it. Two words: Witness. Protection. Cubs fans, I feel your pain.

However, my dream is still alive, of a Red Sox-Marlins World Series when I can use my Delta SkyMiles to fly down next Wednesday morning, go to game four with Dad, then fly back to Atlanta for work on Thursday. That's right, it's my dream, and you can't have it!
Posted 11:03 p.m.

    You've probably felt the sting of liberals saying that it's silly that conservative Christians believe in God. Well, according to a new survey, you'll note that Democrats aren't exactly against all thing supernatural:

Republicans are more likely than Democrats to say they believe in God (by eight percentage points), in heaven (by 10 points), in hell (by 15 points), and considerably more likely to believe in the devil (by 17 points). Democrats are more likely than Republicans to say they believe in reincarnation (by 14 percentage points), in astrology (by 14 points), in ghosts (by eight points) and UFOs (by five points).

    - There sure were a lot of Red Sox fans in Oakland last week. Yet, none of the smarmy national sportswriters saw fit to proclaim Oakland the "worst sports city in America."
    - How can Bush be doing little to rebuild Iraq, yet spending too much? Posted 10:03 p.m.

    France may finally be seeing the light! Apparently they're realizing the country is the butt of jokes everywhere, and asking, "Why do they make fun of us?".
Posted 9:33 p.m.

    Many pictures of Austin's sixth birthday party by Steven over at The Russell Page. Wouldn't it be great to be a kid again? Austin's six, and his day is just this dream world of only half-day of school, plenty of time to play video games or in the pool in the backyard, then star on his soccer team on Saturdays, with church on Sundays as a young Christian figuring out the world and his role. Sure, in five years hormones will leave him a wreck, but for now, the world is his oyster.

Also, we welcome Steve to the Red Sox Nation! With a friend and former classmate in the minors for Boston, and my pressure and vigor over the last decade, he hasn't abandoned St. Louis but has decided the Red Sox are the way to go in the AL! Welcome aboard, and you'll fit right in with your first disappointment when they don't make the World Series this week. Ah, sweet, sour, pessimism.

With the Cubs up 3-1, and Pedro's loss leaving the Sox down 2-1, my dream of Boston playing the Marlins so I can fly down for a game with Dad is slowly passing away. Bummer.
Posted 4:56 p.m.

    Interesting scrap of post-Civil War history, of Confederates who traveled to Brazil and founded their own bit of Americana. It's reminiscent of the John Wayne-Rock Hudson movie The Undefeated in which a group of Southerners head to Mexico rather than live in a united U.S.
Posted 12:45 a.m.

    A satisfying Friday - or, my Sunday. To the theater for the 1:15 p.m. showing of Kill Bill, scarfing down a hot dog and munching on nachos with cheese dip at my seat for lunch. At 4:45, I saw Intolerable Cruelty at the same theater, with Twizzlers for my snack. It is not only a low-fat candy, but makes mouths happy, I'm told. In between the double bill, I went to Kroger to buy cookies, candy and a Sports Illustrated for Kevin, my Aunt Bev's squeeze, who's currently serving in Afghanistan. For just $9.30, my contribution to the war on terror will make it halfway around the world.

All that, and I still had time to stop off at Sears to buy some new slacks (olive, since my other two pairs are khaki and black) before the second flick, after which I stopped at Publix then came on home to watch the Cubs-Marlins game.

Tomorrow, back to work, but with my eye on next weekend, since next Wednesday I'll drive up to Chapel Hill for a long weekend with two days off for my birthday, and the Georgia-Vandy game in Nashville. I love October!
Posted 10:12 p.m.

    Time for some new Trailer Park!:

Timeline - The newest Michael Crichton book-turned-movie, and here's hoping it's less Congo and more Jurassic Park. The premise involves some young scientists going back in time to 1357 to find this guy's father. Lots of medieval warfare ensues, which is a drawing card. That the only name in the movie is Paul Walker (the boring actor from Fast and the Furious) does not bode well. I plan on starting a drinking game in the theater - two swigs for every time someone brings up a "time paradox." (Nov. 26)

Looney Tunes: Back in Action - Brendan Fraser and Jenna Elfman are on board for this Roger Rabbit-like reality/animated flick starring Bugs, Daffy and the whole gang. Steve Martin is in it, too, as the president of the Acme Corporation, inventor of all Wile E. Coyote's favorite gadgets. (Nov. 14)

Bad Santa - Billy Bob Thornton is, well, a bad mall Santa, but decides to help out a bullied fat kid who dearly needs to believe in a Santa. Thornton's unpleasant attitude seems to provide most of the humor, but the trailer got some laughs.

The Alamo - New trailer today, but worse than the previous one. It feels the need to label all of the heroes in the battle, and is really stretching this idea that both sides are equally worthy of praise, telling us that the Mexican army was one of the most formidable ever. Yeah, right.

Lord of the Rings: Return of the King - Is it possible to have an orgasm over a trailer? Just asking.

"24" - OK, so it's not a movie. But the TV show is one of the best being currently made, and the ad showed before the movies I saw today. Didn't president Palmer end last season writhing on the ground after being given a possibly-deadly virus? No mention of that at all, and there's entirely too much focus on Jack's new partner, one of those impossibly cliched brash young studs. Eh, I'm sure the show will be fine.

Along Came Polly - Ben Stiller is an obsessive-compulsive worrywart who takes no risks. Along comes Jennifer Aniston, impossibly cute and risky. Naturally, they fall in love. Looks fun, and the trailer got a lot of laughs from the audience.

House of Sand and Fog - An adaptation of a book I've never heard of, Oscar winners Jennifer Connelly and Ben Kingsley get in some sort of war over a house. I have no idea where the dramatics come from, but this looks like an overly dramatic rental at best.
Posted 10:10 p.m.

    From Mark Levin, You Might be a Leftist If . . .. For instance, "You believe all conservatives are racist, but do not think minorities can ever succeed without Affirmative Action."
Posted 9:33 p.m.

    What liberal media? Check out the opening sentence to this story from the AP: "Eager to please a key Florida constituency, President Bush directed his secretary of state and his Cuban-born housing secretary Friday to recommend ways to achieve a transition to democracy in Cuba after 44 years under Fidel Castro."

Couldn't it be that Bush really believes that a communist thug like Castro deserves to be undermined? Nah, since the Cubans don't have oil money, Bush and his Texan buds don't care!
Posted 9:25 p.m.

    One of the ads before the movies today is for Coca-Cola, titled Football Town U.S.A., which makes the point that fans like football, fans like Coke, and therefore they go together. At the end, Atlanta Falcons QB Mike Vick tells us that fans make a difference. Well, I hate to be disagreeable, Mike, but Atlanta is 1-4 without you, so no matter how full the Georgia Dome is, your teammates blow chunks without you as their field general.
Posted 9:22 p.m.

    Spent the afternoon making sure my automobile was a legitimately registered vehicle in accordance with the laws of the state of Georgia. First, an oil change at Sort-of-a-Jiffy Lube, where I also had my emission inspection done. The inspection is always a nail-biter. After all, who wants to be told their car isn't good enough to drive on the state's roads with the rest of the drivers just released from a mental asylum? My Jeep Cherokee must not be rejected! They need me on the streets to bring sanity between the dotted lines! Yes, that's right, Atlantans, you stay between the lines! I passed, and thanked my lucky stars for living in Cobb County, paying just $88 for my ad valorum tax, compared to $125 or so I paid when living next door in Fulton County. No line, either; it took three minutes to renew the tag. Fulton would always take an hour, if I was lucky. As you know me, I seldom am. But today I am legally allowed to drive in the city. Beware, left-lane hogs, ye have been warned!
Posted 7:45 p.m.

    There's nothing like an 85-year title drought to get sports fans excited, not even noting that it's 'my' team. During the Red Sox win over the Evil Empire last night, I was on the phone with Dad as Boston took the lead, and right after the game, Dad called so we could celebrate, then Scott called to offer congratulations and his excitement over the possibility of a Red Sox-Cubs World Series, even though it would sure mean Armageddon. Still, that might be worth it. What's the end of the world when you just won a championship?

Always the pessimist, ESPN.com's Page 2 Daily Quickie asks, "With the Dream Series (Red Sox-Cubs) so tantalizingly close, how much would it suck if we end up with Yankees-Marlins?"
Posted 3:35 a.m.

    Reason 243 why I don't follow NASCAR: Ryan Newman has won EIGHT races this year, yet is in fourth place in the Winston Cup points standings. How do they calculate these points, cutest wife? Best pre-game meal? Most product placement in and on the car? Matt Kenseth, who no doubt looks good in those Smirnoff Ice ads, has just one win all season, as do the second and third place drivers.
Posted 1:15 a.m.

    I doubt you've heard this from the Chicken Little American Media, so I'll post it here: Iraq's electricity supply is finally restored to pre-war level.
Posted 1:15 a.m.

    Nothing could ruin the lead up to tonight's Red Sox-Damn Yankees game in the opener of the American League Championship Series. I wore my jersey proudly all day, around the mall, the shopping center, movie theater and Publix.

Oh, Publix. This is where the Good Day is challenged. Why? Because of my ineptitudenessity as a Single Man. You might remember Melissa, the office manager at the grocery store whom I've been fond of and even made the dorky move of introducing myself last week. So today is the first time since to see the reaction. Um, well, when I was in line, I noticed that she noticed me, as I was playing aloof and pretending not to notice she was there, peeking out the side of my eye. Well, when it was my turn in line, she left the customer service counter and went to the back.

Consulting my official Book of Signs, it lists this: "Avoidance is not a good thing."

So there you go. Will I just give up? Yeah, yeah I will.

But hey, there's a cute blonde in line ahead of me. She turns and smiles, even looks over my Red Sox jersey. Hey, that's an in! Say something cute, something fun, tell her you hope she's not a Yankees fan. What did I do? Nothing. I smiled and stood there like a doofus, and she went on her merry way through checkout.

Last night, a married co-worker noted that sometimes he misses the single life. Oh, really? What do you miss about that? I trust he was smoother than I am, though. I'm about as smooth as a cobblestone road not touched in eighty years.

But hey, the Red Sox play in an hour! Yankees suck!
Posted 8:27 p.m.

    Tonight is the type that makes work even more fun than usual. With the California recall vote today, our network has deemed it a Big News Night, so there's extra crew and managers sticking around to make sure everything flows smoothly. I don't care who wins the election, just that California is such a loony state that they deserved this entire circus! As co-worker Marc said, it'll be curious if anyone calls the election right at 11 p.m. when polls close in the state. NBC will turn to CNN and ask, "You gonna call?" CNN responds, "Heck no! That's just askin' for trouble! How about you, Fox?" Fox smugly sniffs, "You liberals are wusses, we'll take the chance."
Posted 10:10 p.m.

    I'm not sure my heart can take anymore of these baseball playoffs after the Red Sox five-game series squeaker over Oakland. Wow, what a game last night, barely hanging on with the bases loaded in the ninth. I was sitting in B-Control with an Oakland native, both of us leaning over the switcher, watching the preview monitor with half an eye on the program monitor where we were recording the live show. During the last at-bat, when the ball was trickling to first and just went foul, I'm jumping up and down screaming "NO!", and he tells me, "It's for the better, since the first baseman would have let it go between his legs."

Good times.

Now, the stakes are raised even higher against the vehemently hated eeeeevil dang Yanks. The bullpen isn't getting any better, so you can bet every game will be just as much a barnburner. Let's go Red Sox!
Posted 3:24 a.m.



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