Nov. 5, 2000
By JEFF RUSHING, Webmaster
In the final days of the campaign, I just thought that it would be fitting that I let it be known exactly why I would rather dress as a Marine at a NOW convention than cast a vote for Albert Gore, Jr.:
Campaign slogan: Ask not what you can do for your country, ask what your country can do for you.
Playing favorites: Whether it's class warfare or attacks on corporations, he's trying to win by dividing Americans. Gore is pitting black and against white, rich against poor, young against old, cats against dogs, CNN against Fox News, Lyle Menendez vs. Kyle Menendez, Trekkies against Star Wars fans, those who drink from the carton against men who leave the toilet seat up and George fans from 'Big Brother' against Greg fans from 'Survivor'. You may ask how I feel about this. Well, I'd go for a third party and pick Julie from 'The Real World', but now we're getting off topic.
You have to live like he wants: Only the "right people" get tax cuts in Gore's plan. He wants to force citizens to use public transportation and hybrid vehicles in order to achieve his extreme environmental goals. If you don't agree with his plans then you're on the wrong side of the battle of good and evil.
His own state doesn't want him: Tennessee is too close to call and leaning Bush. If a candidate isn't blowing away the competition in his so-called 'home' state, then that should tell you something about him. Bush will win Texas by 30 points.
Selfish reason: Al, Jr., has nothing for single persons like myself. I don't need breaks on tuition, I won't get any relief from child care tax breaks, I'm not taking care of a sick elder, etc. Only Bush can address me, in an across-the-board tax cut that will lower my taxes by 8% and in allowing me to invest a portion of my Social Security benefits so that I can have more when I retire.
"No controlling legal authority": Gore has his own scandals to worry about; the GOP doesn't have to link him to Clinton.
Wishy-Washy: Gore has never had an opinion he wouldn't change. His positions on the national stage (such as abortion, gun control and tobacco, to name a few) are the opposite of what he said in order to get elected in Tennessee. He sold his vote for the Gulf War. He breaks promises even to his environmental friends. What does he really believe?
Americans are stupid: Without Gore and the government watching out for you, however will you get by? Frankly, he's amazed that you've made it this far without his personal protection and guidance.
Scare tactics: Apparently if Bush is elected the earth will rot, children will starve, millions of women will die in back-alley abortions and senior citizens will be rounded up and left to die in abandoned HMO warehouses.
Forrest Gore: Apparently he's been a vital cog in every important (and unimportant) event in the U.S. since 1970.
I don't like him: The man just has no charisma, not an ounce of likeability. He's an elitist who talks down to others as if he's the president of Mensa. And apparently I'm not alone in this; I've seen higher favorable ratings for Bonnie and Clyde. Even mimes are less annoying.
Defender of the status quo: Gore never met an entitlement he didn't want to continue or expand. He has no solutions, only continuations of policies that are not working. Bush rightly takes the mantle of reformer, especially on issues like Social Security and education.
He doesn't know who he is: Hiring a feminist to tell you how to be an Alpha Male and saying that you're your own man doesn't make it so. Just the fact that he does and says this makes him a Beta Male. Or maybe I should call him Omega Man since he's at the end of the road.
Would raise taxes: During the primary season Gore agreed with Bill Bradley that if the economy slowed down, he would consider raising taxes. Let me get this straight: I have less money in my pocket due to a downturn, and Gore's proposal in order to get the economy moving again is to take more money out of my pocket that I won't be able to spend in the capitalist system we have that depends on me spending that money?
Sex: Between the incessant talk of The Kiss to Tipper's constant references to the couple's sex life, I think (at least hope) that the country is ready to talk about something other than the president's libido.
He wants it too much: Raised to be the leader of the country by his father, there's nothing Gore Jr. won't do to win. How can you believe anything he says?
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