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Leaving My Pain Behind
I once thought that I loved you
but now I realize that I was wrong.
I don't know what love is...
but I hope someday I'll find out.

As I sit here... alone,
the thought of you crosses my mind.
I can hear your voice,
so soft and gentle,
so smooth and convincing.
Oh, I love how it takes me over completely.

But the joy I felt didn't last very long.
For some reason you shut me out.
After I gave you my heart,
you turned and ran away.

You never talk to me
You never write to me
You don't even acknowledge my existence.
What did I do to deserve this?
Where did I go wrong?
What did I do to scare you away?

I've spent long hours thinking of you...
and of the wonderful things you said to me...
and then I think of how you cut me off.

The other night I was reading the letters I sent you.
How can I be such a fool?
I set myself up for everything... because I trusted you.
I trusted you with my heart, my mind, and my soul...
and you took it for granted.

Now that I see you love another... it hurts even more.
I still wish you'd feel that way towards me,
but I doubt that wish will come true.

However, not all was lost.
You helped teach me a lesson... one I'll never forget.
Now I know not to make my heart so available for abuse.
I've learned to be cautious and take things
one step at a time.
And somewhere along the line,
I'll find a love for me.

But deep down inside, I guess there's one goal I'd like to achieve.
I'd just like to be your friend... and have you finally accept me as me.

~ J. Kuper

Copyright © 2003-2004 by Jessie Kuper. All rights reserved
Do not copy, reproduce, or distribute this poem without written permission from myself. If you want to use it,
please write to me and ask. I'll most likely say yes, I'd just appreciate the respect for placing my work online.
If you steal my work, I may not catch you, but you'll know I wrote it... and that's all that matters. Thank you.