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WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?
WLIIA Chat Games
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EVERY OTHER LINE
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Game: Every Other Line
Players: Mochrie, Slattery
Scene: Two people meeting in a supermarket, Slattery reads from "Death
Of A Salesman", Mochrie's end line is "Have you seen the Spice
Girls' movie?"
OH MY GOD! TONY! IS THAT YOU?
OPPORTUNITY IS TREMENDOUS IN ALASKA, WILLIAM. SURPRISED
YOU'RE NOT UP THERE.
WELL, I'VE BEEN PLANNING TO GO TO ALASKA FOR SOME TIME, BUT
I'VE ALWAYS BEEN PUTTING IT OFF.
HEH?
NO, IT'S TRUE!
WHO?
WELL, ME, THE WIFE, THE THREE KIDS, THE GERMAN SHEPHERD. MAYBE
NOW THAT EL NINO'S IN FULL SWING, I'LL START PACKING TONIGHT!
*WILLY, TAKING A POT, SMILING* FINE, FINE.
WHAT'S NEW WITH YOU THEN, TONY?
IS MOTHER LIVING WITH YOU?
NO, WE GOT RID OF THE OLD GOAT THREE YEARS AGO.
WHO?
MY MOTHER! YOU SHOULD KNOW HER! I BELIEVE YOU DATED HER A FEW
MONTHS AGO.
*WILLY, TO CHARLEY* HEH?
OH, THAT'S MY SON, CHARLEY. DON'T MIND HIM. HE'S A SHOPLIFTER
BY TRADE.
HEARD ANYTHING FROM FATHER, HAVE YOU?
WELL, LAST I HEARD, HE WENT TO SEE THE NEW SPICE GIRLS MOVIE,
SPICEWORLD. HAVE YOU SEEN IT?"
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Game: Every Other Line
Players: DCarey, HeatherM
Scene: First flying lesson, HeatherM reads from "Death Of A Salesman",
DCarey's end line is "Where is my Tickle-Me-Elmo doll?"
HOW COULD I WRITE TO YOU? FOR OVER THREE MONTHS YOU HAD NO
ADDRESS.
WELL, MY PO BOX IS ON THE WAIVER YOU HAD ME SIGN...
I KNOW DEAR, I KNOW. BUT HE LIKES TO HAVE A LETTER. JUST TO
KNOW THAT THRE'S STILL A POSSIBILITY FOR BETTER THINGS.
Dear? :-)
It's in the play :)
I know. Is DCarey there?
AS FAR AS I KNOW, THEY ONLY HAVE NUMBERS ON THOSE DAMN THINGS...
YOU CAN'T GET EM PERSONALIZED, LIKE LICENCE PLATES... I WOULD WANT
MINE TO READ "MAILSTUD"!
IT'S WHEN YOU COME HOME HE'S ALWAYS THE WORST.
YEAH... LANDINGS ARE A BITCH... SO I'VE HEARD. BUT YOU'RE GOING
TO GET ME THROUGH THAT. THAT'S WHY I'M PAYING YOU OVER 40 QUID.
Heh heh!
Haha!
This isn't easy!
I know.
No kidding. ;)
WHY ARE YOU SO HATEFUL OF EACH OTHER? WHY IS THAT?
HE DOESN'T HATE ME. HE JUST DOESN'T LIKE THE IDEA OF FLYING.
BESIDES, NO ONE SAID I COULDN'T BRING HIM OR ANY OTHER PET
GERBILS ABOARD THIS FLIGHT. I KNOW HE'S GIVING ME THAT "GERBIL
SPITE" LOOK.
LOL!
ROTFL!
BUT YOU NO SOONER COME IN THE DOOR THEN YOU'RE FIGHTING!
BUT WE GET ALONG WELL, EVEN THOUGH HE'S MORE INTO WHEELS THAN
WINGS. SO WE FIGHT. NAME ONE PERSON THAT DOESN'T YELL AT THIER
PETS...AND DON'T COUNT SIEGFRIED AND ROY.
LOL!
Heehee!
BIFF, YOU CAN'T LOOK AROUND ALL YOUR LIFE, CAN YOU?
THEY HAVE A TIGER... THEY HAVE ALOT TO BE WORRIED ABOUT IF THAT
THING GETS A HOLD OF THIER HAND...NO. THAT'S WHY WE HAVE THE REAR
VIEW MIRRORS... I READ ABOUT THEM IN THE OWNERS MANUAL... THIS
ONE IS FLAT, SO YOU SEE RIGHT BEHIND YOU. THE OTHERS ARE CURVED...
BIFF, A MAN IS NOT A BIRD, TO COME AND GO WITH THE SPRINGTIME.
SO YOU CAN SEE MORE, BUT THE OBJECTS LOOK CLOSER THAN THEY
APPEAR...ALTHOUGH I'VE NEVER TESTED IT OUT FOR MYSELF. WHAT?
ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME THAT I SHOULDN'T BE FLYING THIS THING.
THEN WHAT DID I PAY YOU THAT MONEY FOR, IF I'M GOING TO GET
LECTURED... THE ONLY REASON THAT I WENT WITH YOU GUYS IS BECAUSE
YOU DIDN'T ASK ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT MY EYEPATCH AND FLIPPER ARM.
OH, IT'S BEEN GRAY SINCE YOU WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL. I JUST STOPPED
DYEING IT, THAT'S ALL.
MY GOD. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME MY FLIPPER ARM WAS DISCOLORED...
NOW I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GET IT LOOKED AT BY THE DOCTOR. YOU'RE A
LOUSY FLIGHT INSTRUCTOR. FOR THAT MATTER, I CHECKED IN MY LUGGAGE,
BUT AFTER 5 MINUTES OF FLYING, I CAN'T FIND MY DOLL. WHERE IS MY
TICKLE-ME-ELMO DOLL?
Woo hoo! Great game you guys! :)
Thanks... not bad for the first one, eh?
D'oh!
I had a great next line..."You're such a boy!"
Heehee!
Damn, that was tough!
LOL!
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Game: Every Other Line
Players: Mochrie, Wayne
Scene: Two pilots going down in a plane crash, Wayne reads from "Recess",
Mochrie's end line is "Let sleeping dogs lie."
MAYDAY, MAYDAY! WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF FUEL! DON'T JUST SIT THERE
JOHNSON, DO SOMETHING!
EACH ONE OF US HAS BRAINS LIKE SIEVES
WHAT DO YOU EXPECT, WITH ALL THAT CRAP THEY TEACH US IN FLIGHT
SCHOOL! FIVE YEARS, AND MY BRAIN IS TURNING INTO MUSH! LOOK, WE'RE
LOSING ALTITUDE HERE!
SHOUT IT ALL AT ONCE!
NO, WE'LL LET THE PASSENGERS DO THAT. HOW ABOUT LETTING THEM SHOUT,
"AAAAAAGH!!"
WE'RE A DUNCE!
WE? I HATE TO BURST YOUR BUBBLE, JOHNSON, BUT IF YOU REMEMBER, I'M
THE GRADUATE OF THE FLIGHT SCHOOL. YOU JUST WENT TO EARN FREQUENT
FLYER MILES.
WE CAN'T SOLVE LIFE'S MYSTERIES.
YOU MEAN, LIKE HOW THEY GET THE CARAMEL INSIDE THE CARAMILK BAR?
OUR GRADES OF LATE AIN'T BEEN SO HOT.
DAMN IT! WE'RE PILOTS! GRADES AREN'T IMPORTANT! WHAT *IS* IMPORTANT
IS LANDING THIS STUPID PIECE OF JUNK. AND SO FAR YOU'VE BEEN NO
HELP AT ALL!
CALL US MENTAL RUNTS.
I PREFER THE TERM "AEROPLANE PILOTS"....I SWEAR, SOMETIMES I THINK
YOU'RE ABOUT AS USEFUL AS A DOG.
MRS. CRABAPPLE (RAISES HAND) MRS. CRABAPPLE!
ALL RIGHT! YOU'VE FOUND ME OUT. I'M NOT A PILOT. I'M A TEACHER. SO
WHAT IF I AM, I THINK WE SHOULD JUST LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE.
BUZZZ!!
Good game!
Woo!!!
That was good!
Was that from The Simpsons, David? It had Mrs. Crabapple!
LOL! No, it is a play my class at school is putting on next month.
Oh, LOL!
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Game: Every Other Line
Players: dananana, JoeIsham
Scene: Taking something to be repaired in a shop, dananana reads from
"Romeo & Juliet", JoeIsham's end line is "Does that come with
batteries?"
I PRAY THE, GOOD MERCUTIO, LET'S RETIRE. THE DAY IS HOT, THE
CAPULETS ABROAD. AND IF WE MEET, WE SHALL NOT 'SCAPE A BRAWL!
YEAH, BUT I CAN'T GET MY TOASTER TO WORK. GO FIGURE.
AM I LIKE SUCH A FELLOW?
YOU'RE WEARING THE 'SEARS' UNIFORM. I FIGURED YOU WORKED HERE.
AND WHAT TO?
THE REPAIR DESK, OF COURSE.
AN I WERE SO APT TO QUARREL AS THOU ART, ANY MAN SHOULD BUY THE
FEE SIMPLE OF MY LIFE FOR AN HOUR AND A QUARTER.
THAT'S WHAT THE SIGN SAYS, 'MINIMUM CHARGE, 1 HR. 15 MINS.' SO
CAN YOU FIX IT?
BY THE HEAD, HERE COME THE CAPULETS.
WELL, THEY CAN GET IN LINE BEHIND ME.
FOLLOW ME CLOSE, FOR I SHALL SPEAK TO THEM. GENTLEMEN, GOOD DEN!
A WORD WIT ONE OF YOU.
UM, OKAY. JUST AS LONG AS I CAN GET MY TOASTER BACK TODAY.
YOU SHALL FIND ME APT ENOUGH TO THAT, SIR, AND YOU WILL GIVE ME
OCCASION.
RIGHT. WILL YOU HAVE TO CALL ME LATER, OR CAN I WAIT FOR IT?
MERCUTIO, THOU CONSORT'ST WITH ROMEO.
I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU HAVE THE WHOLE STAFF HERE TODAY.
WE TALK HERE IN THE PUBLIC HAUNT OF MEN, EITHE RWITHDRAW UNTO
SOME PRIVATE PLACE OR REASON COLDLY OF YOUR GRIEVANCES, OR ELSE
DEPART; HERE ALL EYES GAZE ON US.
UH, SURE, I CAN WAIT IN THE BACK.
LOL, this is turning out good :)
WELL PEACE BE WITH YOU SIR. HERE COMES MY MAN.
GOOD. I THINK I'LL JUST BROWSE WHILE I'M WAITING.
ROMEO, THE LOVE I BEAR THEE CAN AFFORD NO BETTER TERM THAN THIS.
THOU ART A VILLAIN.
I WANT TO KEEP THIS ON A PROFESSIONAL LEVEL.
BOY, THIS SHALL NOT EXCUSE THE INJURIES THAT THOU HAST DONE ME;
THEREFORE TURN AND DRAW.
YEAH, THE SPRINGS JUST POP LOOSE AND POKE YOU WHEN YOU PUSH THE
KNOB.
O CALM, DISHONORABLE, VILE SUBMISSION!
IT IS PRETTY BAD, BUT IT SHOULD BE COVERED BY WARRANTY.
WHAT WOUD'ST THOU HAVE WITH ME?
I WOULD HAVE YOU EITHER FIX MY TOASTER OR REPLACE IT.
I AM FOR YOU.
UM, ER, THANKS, BUT CAN I GET MY TOASTER FIXED?
DRAW, BENVOLIO; BEAT DOWN THEIR WEAPONS. GENTLEMEN, FOR SHAME,
FORBEAR THIS OUTRAGE! TYBALT, MERCUTIO, THE PRINCE EXPRESSLY
HATH FORBIDDEN BANDYING IN VERONA STREETS. HOLD TYBALT! GOOD
MERCUTIO!
LOOK, ALL OF VERONA MALL IS GOING TO HEAR THIS. WHY DON'T I JUST
GET ANOTHER TOASTER?
WHAT! ART THOU HURT?
WELL, YEAH, I'M HURT THAT YOU DON'T SEEM INTERESTED IN FIXING MY
TOASTER.
COURAGE MAN; THE HURT CANNOT BE MUCH.
I'LL BE OK.
I THOUGHT ALL FOR THE BEST
YES. I THINK I'LL JUST GO FIND ANOTHER TOASTER.
THIS GENTLEMENT, THE PRINCE'S NEAR ALLY, MY VERY FRIEND HATH GOT
THIS MORTAL HURT IN Y BEHALF; MYU REPUTATION STAIN'D WITH TYBALT'S
SLANDER. TYBALT, THAT AN HOUR HATH BEEN MY COUSIN. O SWEET
JULIET! THY BEAUTY HATH MADE ME EFFEMINATE, AND IN MY TEMPER
SOFTENED VALOUR'S STEEL.
I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S *** ABOUT VALOUR'S STEEL! I'M INTERESTED IN
STAINLESS STEEL... SAY, THAT'S A NICE ONE.
THIS DAY'S BLACK FATE ON MORE DAYS DOTH DEPEND; THIS BUT BEGINS
THE WOE OTHERS MUST END.
OH, SO IT'S GOT TO GO TO THE SHOP, HUH? WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT
THIS MODEL?
HERE COMES THE FURIOUS TYBALT BACK AGAIN.
DOES IT COME WITH BATTERIES?
*scene*
Woohoo! That was hilarious!
Yay!!! It were great!
*applause*
Yay!
That was hard - I didn't get to do too many of the famous
lines -- the 'tis not as wide as a church door' bit. :)
*claps*
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Game: Every Other Line
Players: EmileJ, Locknestra
Scene: At a hotel reception desk, Locknestra reads from "Bald Soprano",
EmileJ's end line is "Add that to the list of things I'll never
have."
DO YOU KNOW HER?
I'M NOT SURE, WASN'T SHE THE ONE WHO CHECKED IN AT 4:30?
I'VE NEVER SEEN HER, IS SHE PRETTY?
SHE'S QUITE...UM...CURVACIOUS, IF I MAY SAY SO. SHE'S GOT ALL
THE RIGHT ANGLES.
WE SHALL HAVE TO GO TO THEIR WEDDING, I SUPPOSE.
THAT'S RIGHT! YOU GOT AN INVITATION TOO!
WHY DON'T WE GIVE THEM ONE OF THE SEVEN SILVER SALVERS THAT
WERE GIVEN TO US FOR OUR WEDDING WHICH HAVE NEVER BEEN ANY USE
TO US?
*snort*
AW, FOR CRIMINY'S SAKE, BEATRICE! I TOLD YOU I'D USE THEM
EVENTUALLY! WHY GIVE THEM TO SOME COUPLE WE BARELY KNOW?
BUT WHO WOULD TAKE CARE OF THE CHILDREN?
WE HAVE CHILDREN? THAT'S NEWS TO ME, BEATRICE! IS THERE
SOMETHING YOU AREN'T TELLING ME?
WHO? BOBBY WATSON?
*snort again!*
OH MY GOD. THAT OL' LOUT?! WASN'T HE A JANITOR?
NO, IT'S NOT THAT ONE, ITS BOBBY WATSON, THE SON OF OLD BOBBY
WATSON, THE LATE BOBBY WATSON'S OTHER UNCLE
*LOL*
ROFL!
OH. I SEE........BOBBY *WATSON*. I THOUGHT YOU SAID BOBBY
WATSON. MY MISTAKE.
You guys have not read this play, I guess! The whole thing
reads exactly like this scene!
ARE YOU REFERRING TO BOBBY WATSON THE COMMERCIAL TRAVELER?
I SUPPOSE I'M NOT. BUT THAT STILL DOESN'T EXPLAIN THE CHILDREN,
DOES IT, BEATRICE?
I DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING, I CAN'T ANSWER ALL YOUR IDIOTIC
QUESTIONS!
IDIOTIC QUESTIONS? EXCUSE ME? I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW, I KNOW
EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS BLASTED HOTEL WE WORK IN. AND I KNOW A
FEW LITTLE...SECRETS OF YOURS.
MEN ARE ALL ALIKE! YOU SIT THERE ALL DAY LONG, A CIGARETTE IN
YOUR MOUTH OR YOUR POWDER YOUR NOSE AND ROUGE YOUR LIPS, 50
TIMES A DAY, OR ELSE YOU DRINK LIKE A FISH!
* dananana is following along in the french version
I'VE NEVER WORN ROUGE IN MY LIFE, BEATRICE! A LIGHT FOUNDATION,
MAYBE, SOME MASCARA, ONCE OR TWICE, BUT NEVER ROUGE!
IT'S NOTHING TO ME! BUT IF YOU'RE ONLY SAYING THAT TO ANNOY
ME... I DON'T CARE FOR THAT KIND OF JOKING, YOU KNOW THAT VERY
WELL!
OH ALL RIGHT. FINE, BEATRICE. HAVE IT YOUR WAY...I SUPPOSE YOU
DON'T LIKE MY FRILLY DRESSES EITHER?
I HOPE YOU'VE SPENT A PLEASANT AFTERNOON, THAT YOU WENT TO THE
CINEMA WITH A MAN AND THAT YOU DRANK SOME BRANDY AND MILK. WE
DIDN'T DO IT ON PURPOSE.
WE, WE, WE....HONESTLY...I THINK YOU'RE JEALOUS!
MY DEAR, WILL YOU PLEASE ASK MR AND MRS MARTIN TO STEP IN, WE
WILL CHANGE QUICKLY.
HAVING ANOTHER MOOD SWING I SEE. *SIGH* A WOMAN WITHOUT PMS...
ADD THAT TO THE LIST OF THINGS I'LL NEVER HAVE.
*scene*
Woohoo!
Yay!
*BUZZ*
Bzzzzt!
*sniffles*
*hugs* Great game, Linz! :)
Wooohoo!
*gi* I forgot how much fun this play is! "Let's go and slap
Ulysses!"
It's the strangest play ever. It's even weirder in french.
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geocities.com/ejumean)