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WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?
WLIIA Chat Games
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THE MILLIONAIRE SHOW
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Game: The Millionaire Show
Players: Bremner, Mochrie, Mr_Jones, WayneB
Scene: Bremner is the host, Mochrie is the contestant answering questions
about his childhood, Mr_Jones is the phone-in lifeline, and WayneB
is the audience lifeline.
GOOD EVENING, AND WELCOME TO THE MILLIONAIRE SHOW. I'M YOUR HOST,
POSE SENSUALLY.
* LisaWatch whistles.
* watcher screams.
* JoeIsham applauds politely.
YAYYYYY!
WE HAVE WITH US MR. EMILE JUMEAN, OF CHEMICAL VALLEY, ONTARIO.
GLAD TO BE HERE, POSE! I'D LIKE TO SAY HI TO MY FRIENDS BACK HOME!
HI FRED! THERE, I'M DONE!
YOU HAVE TWO LIFELINES, YOU CAN CALL A FRIEND, OR YOU CAN ASK
YOUR AUDIENCE RELATIVE. SO, ARE YOU READY TO PLAY THE MILLIONAIRE
SHOW?
YES, I AM SO READY.
LET'S START! QUESTION NO. 1, FOR 70,000,000 RUBLES.
AH, 10 BUCKS.
Hehe!
* WayneB runs to the back and cues the music a little late.
YOUR MOTHER PACKED YOUR SCHOOL LUNCH IN:
(A) A BROWN PAPER SACK.
(B) A MR DRESS-UP LUNCHBOX.
(C) A SHOPPING CART.
(D) BRITNEY SPEARS.
OH GEE, THIS IS DIFFICULT...ALL THE KIDS I GREW UP WITH KEPT
THEIR LUNCH IN BRITNEY SPEARS, BUT I COULDN'T AFFORD ONE....
LOL!
YOU DIDN'T CARRY YOUR LUNCH IN A BRITNEY? I DON'T LIKE YOU
ANYMORE!
I THINK I NEED SOME HELP. I WANNA USE MY AUDIENCE LIFELINE. I
WANT HELP FROM MY TWIN SISTER, VERONICA.
OK, LET'S ASK VERONICA.
HI!
VERONICA!!!
WHAT?
WE HAVE YOUR TWIN BROTHER, EMILE, HERE WITH US. HE NEEDS YOUR
HELP, I DON'T KNOW WHY, IT'S FOR TEN FREAKIN' BUCKS!
VERONICA! YOU KNOW WHAT WE USED WHEN WE WENT TO SCHOOL. ARE YOU
*SURE* WE DIDN'T HAVE A BRITNEY SPEARS?
I'M PRETTY SURE WE DID!
ARE YOU POSITIVE?
YES!
WELL, OKAY....REGIS...ER, POSE....
YES, EMILE?
I'M GOING TO HAVE TO SAY (D) BRITNEY SPEARS.
I'M SORRY, YOU WERE WRONG. THE ANSWER IS (C) A
SHOPPING CART. YOU WERE TOO POOR TO AFFORD ANYTHING ELSE. YOU DO
KNOW WHAT THE PENALTY IS FOR A WRONG ANSWER THIS EARLY IN THE
GAME, DON'T YOU?
Hey!!!! Whatever happened to "Is that your final answer!!" :-)
THIS IS THE CANADIAN VERSION, WE DON'T ASK FOR FINAL ANSWERS, COS
THAT WOULD VIOLATE THE LANGUAGE LAW.
GIVE HIM A SECOND CHANCE?!
NO VERONICA, DON'T SPEAK UNLESS YOU'RE SPOKEN TO.
I'LL SPEAK IF I WANT TO!
AWWW, AND I WAS JUST TO CHANGE MY ANSWER TO (C)....WE USED TO
LIVE BEHIND K-MART.
YOU GOT A WRONG ANSWER, EMILE...NOW THIS!
* Bremner tickles Emile.
DO YOU LIKE THAT, EMILE, DO YOU LIKE THE TICKLING? HUH? HUH?
HE HEE, HA HAA, STOP....STOP.....! *GASPING* I HAVEN'T HAD AN
EXPERIENCE LIKE THAT SINCE MY HONEYMOON!
:P
NOW, ONTO THE NEXT QUESTION. ANYTHING TO KEEP YOU FROM FLIRTING
WITH THE HOST!
I'M READY....I THINK.
QUESTION NO. 2. FOR 12 LIRA.
OH, I DON'T LIKE ITALIAN FOOD.
YOU COULDN'T EVEN BUY ONE STRAND OF SPAGHETTI WITH 12 LIRA, BUT
YOU HAVE TO ANSWER THE QUESTION ANYWAY.
WHEN YOU WERE IN GRADE SEVEN, WHERE DID YOU TAKE YOUR FIRST DATE?
(A) THE CHEMICAL VALLEY JUNIOR HIGH CHLOROFORM DANCE.
(B) TIM HORTONS.
(C) BEHIND K-MART...AND YOU PLAYED IN YOUR LUNCH SHOPPING CART.
(D) BRITNEY SPEARS.
*SIGH* I REMEMBER HER...TIFFANY....SHE HAD THE LOVELIEST LONG
BROWN HAIR, PARTICULARLY COMING FROM HER LEFT NOSTRIL.
LOL!
AHH YES, TIFFANY... TIFFANY JEWELLER?
THAT'S THE ONE! I CAN'T REMEMBER WHERE WE WENT FOR OUR FIRST DATE.
I WANT TO USE MY OTHER LIFELINE. I WANT TO PHONE TIFFANY.
YOU...WANT TO CALL MY WIFE?
YES. PUT HER ON.
IS THAT AGAINST THE RULES? NO, I GUESS IT ISN'T. BUT NO FLIRTING
WITH HER, OR I WILL HANG UP THE CALL! OK, NORTEL NETWORKS
(SHAMELESS PLUG) WILL PUT TIFFANY ON THE LINE, AND YOU'LL HAVE 30
SECONDS TO READ HER THE ANSWERS.
UM, LIKE, HELLO?
HELLO, TIFFANY?
TIFFY? IS THAT YOU, SUGAR DUMPLING? I NEED YOUR HELP!
YES IT IS, PUDDING!
SUGAR DUMPLING, EH!
* Bremner slaps Mochrie around a bit with a large trout.
IT'S EMILE, REMEMBER ME? YOU LEFT ME FOR POSE! YOU BROKE MY
HEART! YOU LEFT ME STANDING AT THE ALTAR!
HEE HEE! HOW COULD I FORGET...
SWEETIE! HOW COULD YOU!
UM...UM....WHAT'S THE QUESTION?
HOW COULD YOU! MARRY THAT .... SWINE POSE!!
I'M NOT A SWINE, I'M BEAUTIFUL! EMILE...HE DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING
TO YOU, RIGHT?
OF COURSE NOT, HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A BRITNEY SPEARS!!
HOW COULD YOU, YOU HEARTLESS BITCH!!! (Sorry, it's the cold
talking!) ;-)
HOW DARE YOU!!
* Bremner slaps Emile again!
GET 'EM, HONEY!
ERR....ANYWAY, I NEED YOUR HELP.
UM, LIKE, OK...
OH EMILE, NOW YOU'RE ASKING HER FOR FAVOURS?
WHERE DID WE GO FOR OUR FIRST DATE?
(A) THE CHEMICAL VALLEY JUNIOR HIGH CHLOROFORM DANCE.
(B) TIM HORTONS.
(C) BEHIND K-MART...AND WE PLAYED IN MY LUNCH SHOPPING CART.
(D) BRITNEY SPEARS.
UM... I REMEMBER FILLING UP ON DONUTS AND THEN LAYING BACK IN
YOUR DAD'S VAN WHILE WE... UM, I MEAN... TIM HORTONS.
*SIGH* I REMEMBER....
TIM HORTONS, EH?
UM, I THINK THAT WAS 30 SECONDS.. GOTTA GO! *CLICK*
IS THAT YOUR FINAL ANSWER... TIFFANY, YOU REMEMBER YOUR FIRST
DATE WITH THAT CREEP, BUT YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER OUR WEDDING
ANNIVERSARY!
POSE, I'LL GO FOR (D) BRITNEY SPEARS. I MAY NOT HAVE HAD ONE, BUT
TIFFANY SURE AS HELL HAD ONE! :) I'LL SAY (D)!
ARE YOU CONFIDENT? ARE YOU SURE?
NO, I'M CHANGING IT TO (C) BEHIND K-MART!
YOU'RE WRONG EMILE, IT WAS (B) TIM HORTONS!
IS IT TOO LATE TO GO FOR THE JAR OF ALMONDS?
HI POSE, IT'S ME... JUST WANTED TO REMIND YOU TO GET SOME MILK ON
YOUR WAY HOME... YOU CAN GO BACK TO YOUR LITTLE GAME NOW.
AND YOU LISTENED TO THAT ALBUM YOU LIKE, "SONGS OF THE DOUGHNUT
BAKER." I BELIEVE IT WAS A GREATEST HITS COLLECTION, AND IT'S
MINE AND TIFFANY'S SONG TOO!
Well, this game was obviously a mistake. :)
LOL!
Yep...
It seemed to work okay to me...of course, I haven't seen it on
the show.
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geocities.com/ejumean)